Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it ok to leave a 4 year old at home while you do the school run? AIBU?!

147 replies

3MonthMaid · 14/05/2013 08:20

Ok so I don't want to sound judgey, but I am genuinely concerned about this. My neighbour has started leaving her 4 year old DD at home in the flat whilst she collects her older son from school.

We live very close to school, but as its a huge school it can easily take half an hour at times. The classes are late coming out, the teacher wants a word etc etc.

It should be added that the little girl in question is pretty feisty. I've seen her climb up the fridge, run herself baths, open the front door etc.

I'm just concerned- on the other hand I'm wondering if its me being too over cautious? My DD is a few years older and I wouldn't do it...

OP posts:
MardyBra · 14/05/2013 08:21

No.

starfishmummy · 14/05/2013 08:21

No, I don't think you are being unreasonable. She shouldn't do it

olibeansmummy · 14/05/2013 08:21

God no!

BramblyHedge · 14/05/2013 08:22

I wouldn't leave my seven year old let alone my four year old.

SkinnybitchWannabe · 14/05/2013 08:22

No way. Ive only just starting letting my 10 year old stay at home when I nip out.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 14/05/2013 08:22

I started leaving mine for this length of time once they were ten. After going through what to do in various eventualities and making sure they knew how to call my mobile from our home phone.

megandraper · 14/05/2013 08:22

Not okay and I would think illegal. I can see how it would be tempting but she mustn't do it. Could you offer to have the little girl at your flat some days?

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 14/05/2013 08:22

YANBU it sounds like an accident is waiting to happen.

NorthernLurker · 14/05/2013 08:23

Of course it isn't safe. You need to tell her that she mustn't do it - and if she carries on you need to ring Social services. That child is too young to keep herself safe.

Yonihadtoask · 14/05/2013 08:23

Yanbu.

It is ok to leave a child alone when the parent judges that the child is responsible enough to left.

A 4 yo is not.

AshokanFarewell · 14/05/2013 08:23

No. She is too young to know not to open the door to strangers, not to wander off, what to do in a fire etc.

mumschoc · 14/05/2013 08:23

OMG no! What if there was a fire.

MrsMelons · 14/05/2013 08:24

no, I wouldn't leave my very sensible 7 YO either. Its very lazy IMO!

Fairylea · 14/05/2013 08:25

No way.

DontMeanToBeRudeBut · 14/05/2013 08:26

No it's not ok. I can understand the temptation but it isn't safe.

pooka · 14/05/2013 08:27

No. I wouldn't do this.

I have left my age 7 and a half ds1 alone for 15-20 mins. But take ds2 with me (he's nearly 4). DD is now nearly 10 and walks to shops or home from close friend on her own.

waikikamookau · 14/05/2013 08:27

are you going to offer to have the 4 year old?

yegodsandlittlefishes · 14/05/2013 08:32

No, it isn't ok. However, if she is so feisty, you can see how it would be difficult to get her out if she doesn't want to go. Do you go to the school at the same time? Could you offer your parenting skills ( bribes , smiles, rewards for good behaviour) and suggest you all go together?
Going forward, is there a local school or church that would run a parenting course? Sounds like the mum could do with some wider support and advice before it turns into a bigger problem.

Dawndonna · 14/05/2013 08:37

WTAF! Four. Dangerous and stupid behaviour.

BeckAndCall · 14/05/2013 08:39

This is absolutely not on. Someone will know better than I do but surely that is neglect, or am I being too simplistic? If something, god forbid, did happen, the mum could be facing charges.

ArabellaBeaumaris · 14/05/2013 08:44

The length of time is the issue for me. I can do my school run in about 8 min round trip & I would possibly leave my 4 yo at home, half an hour is way too long though.

diddl · 14/05/2013 08:54

I wouldn't do it.

How old is the boy-does he need collecting?

Not sure that it's up to OP to offer free childcare/a solution, though?

CherylTrole · 14/05/2013 08:59

YADNBU she should bring the 4 year old with her. Ridiculous.

Sirzy · 14/05/2013 09:00

why isn't she just taking the 4 year old with her?

RubyGates · 14/05/2013 09:01

No no no no no no noooooooooo.

Swipe left for the next trending thread