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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it ok to leave a 4 year old at home while you do the school run? AIBU?!

147 replies

3MonthMaid · 14/05/2013 08:20

Ok so I don't want to sound judgey, but I am genuinely concerned about this. My neighbour has started leaving her 4 year old DD at home in the flat whilst she collects her older son from school.

We live very close to school, but as its a huge school it can easily take half an hour at times. The classes are late coming out, the teacher wants a word etc etc.

It should be added that the little girl in question is pretty feisty. I've seen her climb up the fridge, run herself baths, open the front door etc.

I'm just concerned- on the other hand I'm wondering if its me being too over cautious? My DD is a few years older and I wouldn't do it...

OP posts:
KittensandKids · 14/05/2013 09:02

Seriously?? You don't want to sound judgey? she is 4!!!

valiumredhead · 14/05/2013 09:04

Nooooo it's bloody not!!

I would ring SS anon and chat to someone. I would NOT trust the school to keep my name out of things if I talked to them and all manner of trouble could be in store if it got out.

AllThatJazzAgain · 14/05/2013 09:06

This would count as a child protection and safeguarding issue.
Absolutely not acceptable!!

Sallystyle · 14/05/2013 09:07

No no no no no

Call SS.

innermuddle · 14/05/2013 09:07

That is really scary. I wouldn't leave my 4 year old alone at all.
I assume you have children at the same school. Could you offer to take turns collecting the children/waiting with younger children?
Do you feel able to discuss this with her? If not, then maybe you should mention it to the school or health visitor. The 4 yr old is not anywhere near mature enough to be left home alone for so long. It sounds like your neighbour needs more support or advice.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 14/05/2013 09:07

Hell no, wouldn't even leave my 8 year old!

mrsjay · 14/05/2013 09:07

it is never ok why is she so lazy why doesn't she take her child with her ?

HousewifeFromHeaven · 14/05/2013 09:09

I am a lackadaisical parent but even I wouldn't do that.

ShadowStorm · 14/05/2013 09:11

YANBU.

A 4 yr old is too young to be responsible for their own safety.

kotinka · 14/05/2013 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LunaticFringe · 14/05/2013 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MegBusset · 14/05/2013 09:12

No, it's absolutely not OK and it's not up to the OP to offer childcare either. She should just take the 4yo with her like the majority of other parents have to!

kotinka · 14/05/2013 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WouldBeHarrietVane · 14/05/2013 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetmelissa · 14/05/2013 09:14

This is absolutely not on. Someone will know better than I do but surely that is neglect, or am I being too simplistic? If something, god forbid, did happen, the mum could be facing charges.

It wasn't for the McCanns?!!?

mrsjay · 14/05/2013 09:15

I cant understand why ANYBODY would think that was alright Confused

Snazzynewyear · 14/05/2013 09:15

No it's not ok, and agree that it's not up to the OP to offer to take the child either. The parents should take care of both their kids properly as other parents of two kids do.

cory · 14/05/2013 09:16

I am usually all for independence, but I think 4 is too young. I would be very uncomfortable with that.

Rockinhippy · 14/05/2013 09:17

Mine has always been very sensible & older than her years & could be trusted just to sit quietly & read or watch TV - but there is no way in hell I would have left her home alone at that ageShock - she was 8 before I would even consider doing that just to pop to our local shop, all of 10 minutes tops.

I believe its not actually illegal though, but seeing things like this make me think it ought to be :(

BlueberryHill · 14/05/2013 09:18

YANBU, way to young. How difficult is it to get a 4 yo out to pick up another child. It is called parenting. Very, very lazy and dangerous.

Rockinhippy · 14/05/2013 09:18

PS I second mentioning it too the School

FJL203 · 14/05/2013 09:18

"are you going to offer to have the 4 year old?"

Hmm

Why on earth should she?!

3MonthMaid, YANBU at all.

DeafLeopard · 14/05/2013 09:19

4yo is way too young.

FJL203 · 14/05/2013 09:19

Another vote for mentioning it to the School.

randgirl · 14/05/2013 09:21

No way, i only leave my 10 year old at home to pop out quick if my 14 year old is here too.....

HOw old is the older child? If the school is so close cant the older child just walk home?

Why does she leave her home alone (if its the am school run is she still asleep?)