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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not allow my child to go to a football parade on a week night during SATs week?

474 replies

TheDetective · 11/05/2013 19:28

I'm being called all the names under the sun by my ex, and DS1 is sulking and barely speaking to me.

I just found out tonight that Ex DP is planning to take DS1 to watch the Man United parade on Monday night. It is 6-7.30pm, and is 25 miles from home.

Any other school night I'd be fine with this. But not during SATs week, which it is next week.

I've said he can't go. He's worked hard for these exams, his sets for high school depend on the outcome of them. I just want to do what is best for DS.

I've rang my mum, his headteacher, to ask her opinion in case I am being unreasonable. She is furious that ex thinks this is even a good idea.

This is his dads reply by text 'you too are pathetic when he rebels against you youve only yourself to blame'. And 'Like I said pathetic'. Followed by 'just wait promise you he will rebel he already can't wait to get out of mums school I will laugh my ass off'. Those are his exact words by the way, not my typos.

I want my son to do well. I hope I am not being unreasonable.

It's not like utd don't have a fucking parade every season is it??

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 13/05/2013 22:16

Please tell after all these posts.

ParadiseChick · 13/05/2013 22:31

I hope that he got to go!

Original poster
TheDetective · 13/05/2013 22:32

No, he didn't.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 13/05/2013 22:40

So how did he take it?

ExitPursuedByABear · 13/05/2013 22:41

Hope you feel proud

exoticfruits · 13/05/2013 22:43

I'm not sure why you asked- were we just supposed to agree with you?

PatPig · 13/05/2013 22:46

I can't believe you let your petty sniping at your ex take priority over a meaningful event between your son and his father.

It's not as if it would have made any difference to his stupid pointless SATs anyway - the parade wasn't during the exam.

ExitPursuedByABear · 13/05/2013 22:47

Karma

PatPig · 13/05/2013 22:48
Panzee · 13/05/2013 22:49

Let us know how many Level 5s he gets.

Original poster
TheDetective · 13/05/2013 22:49

As it is, he is at his dads, and his dad accepted that it wasn't a good idea for DS. So in fact, I didn't have to do or say anything else.

And Exit Hmm Hmm Hmm

I've already stated why I asked exotic if you read what I have written several times.

OP posts:
dangly131 · 13/05/2013 22:50

It is ok to ask for advice and then stay with your original first thought after others views.

gordyslovesheep · 13/05/2013 22:50

Level six in simmering resentment I would imagine

ExitPursuedByABear · 13/05/2013 22:50

What?

Original poster
TheDetective · 13/05/2013 22:51

I think I know my child well enough to know this isn't going to bother him for the rest of his years.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 13/05/2013 22:52

Not terribly conducive to trying your best- far more likely to not really care- depending on personality.

Original poster
TheDetective · 13/05/2013 22:52

Passive aggressive comments aren't big or clever.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 13/05/2013 22:53

So it all worked out exactly as you wanted. How lovely

Goldmandra · 13/05/2013 22:58

I don't think there's anything in the talk guidelines about OPs being required to comply with the majority opinion Hmm

The OP has stated all along that she wasn't going to change her mind. She is still allowed to ask for opinions isn't she?

ParadiseChick · 13/05/2013 23:03

Shame.

aderynlas · 13/05/2013 23:08

I know my son very well, hes a good hardworking young man. He wasnt allowed to go to a cricket match when he was young, school night wouldnt have been home till gone 11. Imagine my suprise op, when going to check he was fast asleep, he was sat in a little tent made of blankets, watching the cricket on tv.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 13/05/2013 23:11

What I can't believe is that I have - indirectly- supported someone's right to go to a football parade, when I fecking hate football. With a passion.

I must be very very principled. Or something. Grin

ComposHat · 13/05/2013 23:16

Well why do poster go to the bother of posing a question or dilemma if they have no intention of considering a point of view other than their own.

I suspect the op came here expecting everyone to vindicate the strong stance she was taking in response to her feckless ex and her son's education. However as it became clear to a lot of posters that she was playing power games and her son was the pawn.

It is all to common:

Op - AIBU?

MN - Yes!

Op - hissy fit.

You see when divorced men bleat on about mother's using the kids as a weapon, it is normally bullshit excuse for being a crap father, but I really think that in your case that is what you are doing.

dangly131 · 14/05/2013 06:48

Maybe she did consider it...just because she didn't change her mind doesn't mean to say she did not listen to what was being said and make an informed decision. We don't know the thought processes she had in making her decision. Just because she has a differing opinion does not make it ok to be abusive and label her a crap mother for missing one football parade which will happen again next year or the year after because that is how Man U roll! Granted by then said child will possibly support another team!

Blueskiesandbuttercups · 14/05/2013 06:57

Well said Dangly

I often put a dilemma out there to get it off my chest and work through. It isn't a given I'll go with advice given. Sometimes you just want to be aware of alternative points of views to understand them more.

I think it's pretty weak to go against something you think is right just because MN told you to.

We don't know said child,said dad or said school.Op may well have spoken to hoards of friends who do and who agreed with her.

I think some posters get a little carried away with the role of MN and put far to much stock by it. It isn't RL.

Op glad it all got sorted.