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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be fed up of being told how awful having a newborn is going to be?

131 replies

Quilty · 09/05/2013 15:31

I'm 35 weeks pregnant and no one seems to have a good thing to say about the first few weeks of having a baby Hmm

Yes I know I'll be tired and no doubt stressed and over emotional at times but there must be enjoyable times to be had with a newborn? Why does everyone seem to want to tell me what a shit time I'm going to have?

OP posts:
CocacolaMum · 09/05/2013 15:34

I LOVED THAT TIME!!
It is so fleeting but those hours spent cradling a teeny baby while they snooze are precious. Also, they don't whine about cbeebies at that age which is a bonus AND you can make visitors do your housework hehe

LuisGarcia · 09/05/2013 15:35

It's going to be awesome. People will bring you dinner and champagne. You will burst with love and pride. You will remember every silly song and dance from your childhood. Enjoy every minute.

candycrushhater · 09/05/2013 15:36

I agree with cocacolaMum. I loved that time too Grin

I've often told friends that I would love it if a baby would stay 4 weeks old forever. All those cuddles and snuggling and baby smell....

ballinacup · 09/05/2013 15:36

Look at it this way Quilty, IF it's shit, you'll have been well prepared, and won't have any high expectations.

IF it's great and you breeze through it, you can think smugly about how wrong they were.

FWIW I had the opposite; I was told how wonderful and amazing it was going to be and it was hell on earth. To have that bubble popped was awful, and I wish a few people had been more honest rather than looking back with rose tinted glasses.

KatoPotato · 09/05/2013 15:36

Tbf, I heard no negative things about the early days and I remember feeling a complete failure most of the time until I finally received an email from my colleague who said 'this will pass, and it's a bit shite and I struggled' (or something to that effect!)

I instantly felt better.

KatoPotato · 09/05/2013 15:37

x post ballinacup!

MrsBungle · 09/05/2013 15:37

Yanbu. Not everyone finds it horrendous. I absolutely loved that time with both of mine. I was relaxed, happy and content. I love tiny babies! Good luck!

FrogInABog · 09/05/2013 15:37

It's such as amazing time, you will love it. I think people try to prepare first time mums for it being hard incase you have 'Rosey' expectations, yes you will be exhausted, but you won't care Smile

Newyearoldmum · 09/05/2013 15:38

It's tough true but holding that little bundle of snuggliness - there's nothing like it and its gone so quickly. I still feel like I only brought dd home yesterday but we're currently thinking about what to do on her 2nd birthday in 4 months!! I'm a bit jealous that you're going to get a shiny new baby soon. Grin

EverythingIsTicketyBoo · 09/05/2013 15:38

I'm sat here with a 9 day old DD, she is my 3rd dc, it is hard work, I'm tired, my breasts hurt and my other children still need attention how dare theyWink

Then I get the little satisfied look on her face after feeds, sleepy smiles (obviously wind but who cares they are the best) snuffling about when she is hungry, the very un lady like noises from her little bottom, how she holds my hand when we are feeding, how I can stare at her face and never get bored and so many other lovely things that far far outweigh the hard work.

Enjoy your baby! Thanks

seeker · 09/05/2013 15:38

I adored the newborn weeks. I wasso happy, and the babies were so glorious and smelled so wonderful and everyone kept telling me how clever I was. It was wonderful!

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 09/05/2013 15:38

People like to project. Yes, there are difficult days but there are many, many moments that outweighs tiredness and so on. A lot of conflicting feelings emerge, I believe, not because you have a newborn, but rather because your old life suddenly seems so distant.

FWIW, I find DD (19 months) loads trickier than a newborn. And currently I'm PG with DC2, so it can't have been that bad or I wouldn't be doing it again!

You are going to be a great mum and there is lots of great advice on here. Avoid the crazies who want to rain on your parade, they're probably just jealous.

TheScreamingfrog · 09/05/2013 15:38

Cuddles, sandwiches, tea and daytime telly. All good from what I remember!

Booyhoo · 09/05/2013 15:38

oh i loved those first few snuggly weeks before life got back to normal and i was expected to 'do stuff' again Grin

i loved bedtime cuddles and sofa cuddes and leisurely walks with my pram and the moses basket and the tiny clothes and little noises they make in their sleep and the faces they pull too. tired? yes, stressed and emotional at times? yes but overall the first few weeks were not the hard ones. they were quite lovely. especially at this time of year when the weather will hopefully be good for you to get out and about when you are ready Smile

EasilyBored · 09/05/2013 15:38

It's incredibly hard, but at the same time it's just so lovely. Even when you are knackered beyond what you thought possible, you still find yourself just gazing and stroking and cuddling your newborn. It's like a kind of blissful exhaustion. It will be both very hard and kind of awful at moments, but also brilliant and joyful and just lovely. Well, it was for me. I found months 3-9 the hardest (and kind of dullest) to be honest. But the newborn softness of their little heads and the tiny squeaks and grunts and little clenched fists and froggy legs and skinny little chicken thighs...

That giant clanging noise was my ovaries by the way.

BabsAndTheRu · 09/05/2013 15:39

Loved that time as well, god they are gorgeous then all snugly and cosy. Loved BF on the couch watching a movie, relaxed pure bliss. It's over so quick. Yeah you have to get up in the night but it doesn't last long and once you get the hang of it its great fun. Wishing you all the best and enjoy.

squidgeberry · 09/05/2013 15:39

My favourite part was being pinned to the sofa while breastfeeding/napping baby on lap and watching the entire 5 seasons of Mad Men back to back while eating cake.

Not going to get away with that so much with dc2 as dd1 is 3, so will have back to back cbeebies instead

space21 · 09/05/2013 15:40

I have a 5 week old and a 2 year old. The baby is a breeze!
Ignore them all. Yes you will be tired but all those snuggles and snoozes with a newborn are just lovely. They sleep ALOT and nappies are so easy and quick. Yes you will cry at everything for no reason - just give in to it and then have another cuddle ;) enjoy

Primrose123 · 09/05/2013 15:40

It's not awful having a newborn, it's wonderful, just very very tiring. I had a difficult birth, and was not prepared for how bad I felt physically. My baby was hard work but lovely, but I thought I would take a few days to get over the birth. Maybe some people do recover that quickly if the birth is straightforward, but I felt like I had flu for at least a month, really tired and achy, no appetite, grumpy and tearful at times (even more than normal!) Just rest as much as possible, and take all the help that people offer. As long as you have a supportive partner and/or family there is no need for it to be awful.

Booyhoo · 09/05/2013 15:41

oh god i shouldn't have opened thsi thread. so broody now! i want one!! Grin

SquirrelNuts · 09/05/2013 15:41

I don't think a newborn is awful at all, that's when they're easiest in my opinion, all they do is eat sleep and poop. Newborns are lovely, im jealous!

thebody · 09/05/2013 15:41

It will be what it is op.

it could be wonderful or it could be very very hard.

However it is, this baby will grow to be a person who you will worship forever.

Who you would die to defend and who you will share laughs, tears, good and bad times.

They are tiny for a nanosecond.

eekazombie · 09/05/2013 15:42

I'm eyeballing my 6 month old who has fought me all day today. Doesn't want to eat, sleep, play, be held. Constant whining. Is now laying on the floor making his whinge noise and I've had enough.

I miss when he was 2 weeks old and I spent all day drinking tea, watching Downton abbey, giving him cuddles and sniffing his head.

TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 09/05/2013 15:43

To be honest, I found it absolutely awful and I wish someone had told me that I was not going to bond immediately with my baby, that my hormones would be all over the place, that I would find BFing nigh on impossible and that I would hurt like hell! However, it would seem that most people DON'T feel like that, so there's no reason to think that you will - and I ADORED it the second time round!

I think it's good to be warned that it might be horrid, so that if you do struggle you won't think you're "weird" or put too much pressure on yourself. Everyone is different. I found that the fog lifted the day my baby first smiled at me at 6 weeks. Be really really kind to yourself, have no expectations, then it will be a breeze! Like *Ballinacup", I wish someone had warned me that it might not all be wonderful, but rest assured the difficult bits do pass!

saintlyjimjams · 09/05/2013 15:45

I loved it.