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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This Isn't My Thread. It's Title Is Too Long.

185 replies

TiggyD · 05/05/2013 18:58

How many fucking books are there? I had to read "That's not my truck" last week. "That's not my truck. It's sides are to ridgey". WTF! £5.99 for 5 pictures of things with fun fur or something on them? They're taking the piss! "That's not my hamster". Seriously! Where's the plot?!

Coming soon:

That's not my poo. It's sides are too glittery.
That's not my poo. It's top is too floaty.
That's my poo. It's tail end is so sweetcorny!

£5.99. Angry

OP posts:
FanjoPaterson · 06/05/2013 10:59

That's not my mummy! Her hair is brushed.
That's not my mummy! She's not wearing a wifebeater.
That's not my mummy! She didn't greet the lady in the offie by name, or ask about her ex.
That's not my mummy! She can find the house key!
That's my mummy! Her glasses are soooooo smudgy!

chocoluvva · 06/05/2013 11:15

My DCs are teens - we didn't have these. What a shame [sarcastic face]

This is the funniest thread ever [benelovent prize-giving face].

TheBigJessie · 06/05/2013 11:33

My favourite one is "That's Not My Penguin". Which ends with the immortal lines, "That's my penguin, its baby is so fluffy".

You distinguish your penguin by recognising its offspring? Does your penguin not have a personality and appearance of its very own?!

Somersaults · 06/05/2013 11:50

You thought you got away with it lougle but I spotted your stealth boast up thread.

Didactylos · 06/05/2013 12:26

so glad im not the only one who had the terror bunny! and that DS may in future meet someone in therapy who shares his fear....

honeytea · 06/05/2013 12:30

We have a second hand "that's not my bunny book, small child friend who owned the book before us has scratched the Jenny's eyes with his fingernails, it makes the shiney eyes even creepier.

RocknRollNerd · 06/05/2013 16:51

We have a second hand "that's not my bunny book, small child friend who owned the book before us has scratched the Jenny's eyes with his fingernails, it makes the shiney eyes even creepier.

...probably done by some terrified child trying to avoid being posessed by the EVIL. SOUL-STEALING. BUNNY!

Didactylos - I will take heart in the fact that our sons can share in their group sessions, safe in the knowledge their not the only ones Grin

Merrylegs · 06/05/2013 17:00

Fiona is lovely.

SoleSource · 06/05/2013 17:09

That's not my fanjo it is tight
That's not my fanjo it is just right
That's not my fanjo for it is wearing pants
There is my fanjo crusty with warts

SoleSource · 06/05/2013 17:18

Thats not my Son for he has eyesight
That's not my Son he can talk
That's not my Son he not a teen in nappies

That's not my Son he is happy

That's his mother laughing and staring

That's my life

TheMNeffect · 06/05/2013 17:43

'That's not my Santa, his sack is too rough' Hmm

lougle · 06/05/2013 18:31

Somersaults Not boasting. I didn't tell you that my toddler can write in Chinese Grin

SoleSource don't get me started. I could write a ditty or two. Sorry that's your life. I hope you have good support Smile

hackmum · 06/05/2013 19:19

Longing to know what the Ninky Nonk/Pinky Ponk fiasco is.

FaresPlease · 06/05/2013 21:01

Was hoping for some more of these to read tonight! My favourite thread to date!

Anyone?

Still trying to come up with my own....

Original poster
TiggyD · 06/05/2013 21:09

That's not MNHQ's glass. The inside is full of juice.
That's not MNhQs bottle. It full of water.
vats noT MNhq's' cup. Its got bloddy tea init.
That's mNrtqQ's pudle on the flor. It''s ginnnnnn. I'lll just lay hear and suck for flor fur a bith.

OP posts:
CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs · 07/05/2013 03:40

That's not my MN...someone has a ticker.
That's not my MN...nobody is telling me IABU.
That's not my MN...nobody has mentioned Naice ham.

THAT'S my MN...it has a link to Terry Wogan's cock

piprabbit · 07/05/2013 04:11

Can I wholeheartedly recommend "Where's my Cow?" by Terry Pratchett to everyone who has ever read a 'That's not my...' book and despaired.

It started life as a joke in one of TP's novels, Vimes has to be home to read the book every night to his little boy, and now it is a real, proper book with great illustrations which appear to feature Pete Postlethwaite doing hippo impersonations.

hermionejgranger · 07/05/2013 06:28

hackmum the ninky nonk/ pinky ponk paradox is legendary Grin How small they are! Look at them compared with the characters... but wait! The characters can Ride In Them!! All of a sudden they are big enough... woo...

We have applied the "that's not my" philosophy to Star Wars. "These aren't the droids you're looking for... their joints are almost frozen". Smile

Jestrin · 07/05/2013 13:29

This thread has been hilarious!

HappyAsEyeAm · 07/05/2013 13:42

For those of you who call female genitalia a "fairy", I give you:

That's not my fairy, Its wings are too fuzzy (seriously!)

Poledra · 07/05/2013 13:42

piprabbit, that so is Pete Postlethwaite in That's not my cow! Top book, but did lead to DD2 saying 'buggrit!' at the tender age of 6 Blush

InMySpareTime · 07/05/2013 14:09

Buggrit! Millennium hand and shrimp!
We're reading "Thud!" As a bedtime story, I love the "that's not my cow" references, especially "It goes Hruuugh, it is a Hippopotamus"

piprabbit · 07/05/2013 14:32

We do a Hyacinth Bucket pronunciation for buggrit - sort of "Bug Write". It's less embarrassing in public, but nowhere near as satisfying.

MadameOvary · 07/05/2013 14:55

That's not my politician, it has a strong moral code
That's not my politician, it always tells the truth
That's not my politician, It fights for what's right

That's my politician, it's a self-serving lying creep only interested in lining its own pockets!

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 07/05/2013 15:09

But that's my politician madameO

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