This Isn't My Thread. It's Title Is Too Long.

[TiggyD]

How many fucking books are there? I had to read "That's not my truck" last week. "That's not my truck. It's sides are to ridgey". WTF! £5.99 for 5 pictures of things with fun fur or something on them? They're taking the piss! "That's not my hamster". Seriously! Where's the plot?!

Coming soon:

That's not my poo. It's sides are too glittery.
That's not my poo. It's top is too floaty.
That's my poo. It's tail end is so sweetcorny!

£5.99.

[Iteotwawki]

What really bugged me about those books (aside from endless repetitions of the same stuff) was the Monkey Mistake! Somewhere towards the end .. "That's not my monkey" - no, because it's an orangutan. Which is an ape. Really think whoever designed and checked that one got it badly wrong.

Aside from that I love Usborne books :)

[mikkii]

We have 14, including two in Spanish.

[NoWayPedro]

Oops, not sure what happened there

[NoWayPedro]

(bump)

That's not my chilli, here's some advice
That's not my chilli, where's all the spice
That's not my chilli, scotch bonnets? think twice
That's not my chilli, don't serve with brown rice

That's my chilli,I know it tastes naiiiiice

[NoWayPedro]

(bump)

That's not my chilli, here's some advice
That's not my chilli, where's all the spice
That's not my chilli, scotch bonnets? think twice
That's not my chilli, don't serve with brown rice

That's my chilli,I know it tastes naiiiiice

[IrritatingInfinity]

This is a brilliant thread with a brilliant title

[TheOneWithTheHair]

@ TiggyD's description of Fiona.

[whendotheyleavehome]

Have you seen the spoof videos for 'that's not my toddler' and 'that's not my mummy' at www.helpfulhumour.com defo worth a look!

[TiggyD]

She was sensible. She's probably gone totally off the rails now and spends all her time in a dress made of money, looking for things that aren't other things and things that are things but are similar to the things which were not things.

Anyway, this thread has made the roundup this week so everybody look busy.

[LadyBigtoes]

I used to work with Fiona! Many moons ago. She was (/is) extremely sensible. If it helps, I actually doubt she's a squillionaire as people working there wrote books while working for a salary, rather than royalties - though they may have come to some kind of agreement I suppose.

[enormouse]

Toadinthehole that's fantastic. I must add that the next time I have to read that's not my sodding hamster.

[beaverhq]

I laughed so hard reading this thread a little bit of wee came out.

[ginnybag]

I have no idea if anyone has said this yet, because I don't have time to read the whole thread (sorry!) but Terry Pratchett has a take on these that is hilarious.

Where's my Cow - as read by Sam Vimes.

It is now my DD's favourite bedtime story.

I refuse to own any of the orginals

[Toadinthehole]

That's not my hamster. Freddy Starr ate it.

[Toadinthehole]

That's not my home-made pasta: the machine is gummed up.
That's not my home-made pasta: it's all stuck together.
That's not my home-made pasta: it's gone all zig-zaggy.
That's my home made pasta: I'm sticking the empty packet in the bin

[FanjoPaterson]

That's no DP, his stomach is too wobbly
That's not DP, his hair's too short
That's not DP, that's Terry Wogan.
That's DP. I can hear him snoring from the garage.

[ToysRLuv]

Oh, got into a bit of an automatic mode with the writing. Excuse lack of apostrophes.

[ToysRLuv]

That's not my sanitary towel, its wings are too long.
That's not my sanitary towel, its surface is soo plasticky.
That's not my sanitary towel, its nowhere wide enough.
That's not my sanitary towel, its already managed to glue itself to itself.
That's my sanitary towel, its miles away at home.

(At my parents' house which houses ancient supplies from years ago when DM still had her periods )

[FrustratedSycamoresRocks]

That's not my alarm, it's going off too early.
That's not my alarm, it's too loud.
That's not my alarm, my alarm has a snooze.

No, wait, that is my alarm, Oh shit, now I'm late!

[HandbagCrab]

That's not my dh. His body is too smooth.
That's not my dh. His teeth are too shiny.
That's not my dh. His bum is too bumpy.
That's not my dh. His tummy is too squishy
That's my dh! His ears are so fluffy!

[apostropheuse]

We have an abundance of those bloody books in the house. For reasons I will never fathom the children love them!

This thread is hilarious.

That's not my arse. It's not large enough.
That's not my arse. It's not low enough.
That's not my arse. It's not round enough.
That's my arse. It's all flabby and squidgy!

[Yamyoid]

That's not my weather forecast, it's too rainy
No really, tell me that's not my weather forecast
That can't be my weather forecast, it's windy and cold
That is my weather forecast, it's really rainy and windy and cold

[Yamyoid]

Brilliant

[Pigsmummy]

But it's not my rabbit, I have a mad cat

[FrustratedSycamoresRocks]

That's not my fridge, it's contents are too healthy.
That's not by fridge, everything is in date.
That's not my fridge, it is too full.

That's my fridge, it smells and is full of junk.