Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This Isn't My Thread. It's Title Is Too Long.

185 replies

TiggyD · 05/05/2013 18:58

How many fucking books are there? I had to read "That's not my truck" last week. "That's not my truck. It's sides are to ridgey". WTF! £5.99 for 5 pictures of things with fun fur or something on them? They're taking the piss! "That's not my hamster". Seriously! Where's the plot?!

Coming soon:

That's not my poo. It's sides are too glittery.
That's not my poo. It's top is too floaty.
That's my poo. It's tail end is so sweetcorny!

£5.99. Angry

OP posts:
Maryz · 05/05/2013 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bookwolf32 · 05/05/2013 19:23

Why not just buy books second hand? - they're less annoying if they're crap then.

Raspberrysorbet · 05/05/2013 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Raspberrysorbet · 05/05/2013 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 05/05/2013 19:25

OMG I loved those books, guarantee my boys would sit down quietly for ten minutes. I bought them for both nieces.

Trill · 05/05/2013 19:26

That's not my AIBU
It's not asking a question
That's not my AIBU
The question is not about reasonableness
That's not my AIBU
It's grammatically incorrect
THAT'S my AIBU
I'm not being unreasonable at all just come and agree with me

YoniOneWayOfLife · 05/05/2013 19:28

I removed them from the bookshelf when DC4 started taking an interest in them - I could not stand going through it all again. That's the point people should put forward on these 'should I have another baby' threads - can you stand reading "that's not my reindeer" another bloody time? No, then don't Hmm

WilmaFingerdoo · 05/05/2013 19:29

That's not my teen, its face is too happy.
That's not my teen, its attitude is too jolly.
Thats not my teen, its room is too tidy.
That's my teen, muttering "Fuck" under it's hoody.

fuzzpig · 05/05/2013 19:30

In my house we need a "that's not my charger"

Its wire is too thin. Its plug is too white. Its USB socket is too, erm, USB-y. etc.

NoWayPedro · 05/05/2013 19:33

Those are not my legs, they're long like a giraffe
Those are not my legs, they're brown and don't look naff
Those are not my legs, you can see ankle AND calf

Those are my legs! I won't be having the last laugh :(

NoWayPedro · 05/05/2013 19:39

That's not my chin, with all that smooth skin
That's not my chin, where you can clearly see a grin
That's not my chin, on a face looking so thin

That's my chin! Now I really need a gin Grin

InMySpareTime · 05/05/2013 19:39

That's not my house, its carpets are too clean.
That's not my house, its occupants are too sane.
That's not my house, its cupboards are too full.
That's not my house, its windows are too shiny.
That's my house, its decrepitude is legendaryGrin.

Wishiwasanheiress · 05/05/2013 19:45

I don't own one of those books (yet). Couldn't face first page after title. Mil would love it. Her intelligence level, (miow!)

NoWayPedro · 05/05/2013 19:51

That's not my belly, it doesn't wobble like jelly
That's not my belly,
I never get it out, not on your nelly!
That's not my belly, looks like those on the telly

That's my belly! Obviously too much tagliatelle Grin

Think I've had too much sun winetoday

InMySpareTime · 05/05/2013 19:51

My last line isn't really in the spirit of the books, it should read:
That's my house, its dust layer is so fluffyGrin

fuzzpig · 05/05/2013 19:52

Of course these books are an excellent reason in themselves to use a library. You can get a different one each week rather than having the same one for years Wink

WafflyVersatile · 05/05/2013 19:54

There is a 'that's not my poo' book, isn't there?

www.amazon.com/Story-Little-Mole-Knew-Busines/dp/1856024407

CSIJanner · 05/05/2013 19:55

I'm going to type up of all of these tomorrow and put them to pictures ;)

BrokenBananaTantrum · 05/05/2013 19:59

There is one called That's not my princess. One of the pages says "That's not my princess her fan is too fluffy" Reading this aloud made me crack up laughing. Honestly it is in there!

Inertia · 05/05/2013 20:01

That's not my wedding. The children are too numerous.
That's not my wedding. The MIL is too reasonable.
That's not my wedding . The bridesmaids are too flatteringly dressed.

That's my wedding ! The money-gift poem is so trite!

Original poster
TiggyD · 05/05/2013 20:03

That's not my Jesus, he got Lego for Christmas.
That's not my Jesus, he went "eughh" at a leper.
That's not my Jesus, he fed 5000 people on 2 Greggs sausage rolls and 5 Fruit Shoots.
That's my Jesus! His hands are so naily!

OP posts:
WafflyVersatile · 05/05/2013 20:06
Grin

naily jebus.

ScarletLady02 · 05/05/2013 20:06

I have a couple of these books....the Mumsnet versions are much better Grin

ToysRLuv · 05/05/2013 20:08

Oh crap, they're horrendous! Luckily we've now passed that phase, and I've put them all away, although ds would probably still occasionally like to read its not my aeroplane at 3.5, I wouldn't.

I speak my mother tongue to ds, and these books were always a total pain to try and translate in the moment. Ridgy and bumpy in a foreign language, anyone? Effing hell, I think they're the same word in my language.. I used to literally sweat from concentrating so hard Confused.

AnaisB · 05/05/2013 20:19

I can't believe there's a separate author and illustrator - what does fiona actually contribute now? maybe she' patented the concept. I wonder if she has written anything else or if she just does a new one every few months. she only has to change 10 words each time.