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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you have an all day wedding you should have food before 9pm?

379 replies

Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 18:17

We've been invited to a wedding in August the invitation said that, despite the ceremony being at 1.30pm, there will be no food until the buffet at about 9pm?

AIBU to think that if you want to cut catering costs on your wedding day, you don't get married so early? It's seems really selfish to me to have an all day wedding with no food but I'd be quite happy if the service had been at say 4pm?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2013 18:18

That's a bit weird. Are you supposed to go home after the service then come back?

freddiemisagreatshag · 05/05/2013 18:18

Don't go then Confused

fritteringtwit · 05/05/2013 18:19

Where are they getting married? Is theirs the only "slot" that was available?

expatinscotland · 05/05/2013 18:19

I would not go.

WhereBeThatBlackbirdTo · 05/05/2013 18:19

At least they warned you so you won't be sitting around, starving, waiting for the food.

fritteringtwit · 05/05/2013 18:20

I'd have a good lunch at home first.

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 05/05/2013 18:21

I think the wedding couple need to be prepared for the guests going missing in order to eat! That is such a long time to go without food, i know I couldn't cope with it.

BreasticlesNTesticles · 05/05/2013 18:21

My friend did this but didn't tell anyone Shock

Got married at 1 and then served food at 7.30 for daytime and evening guests alike. They couldn't afford to feed everyone twice I think and really wanted the posh but souless venue.

We arrived at 8 to see very very drunk people inhaling sausage rolls Grin

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 18:21

That's what I'm thinking Freddie but it obviously has significant repercussions as they are friends and they know we have no other commitments that weekend.

No sparkling it's church then straight to the venue but no food until the evening guest arrive then it's a buffet.

I think they'll be nibbles in the afternoon but that's it.

OP posts:
MegBusset · 05/05/2013 18:21

Seems v odd, what are you supposed to do all afternoon? Anyway I would have a big lunch before you go and pack a sandwich for emergency use!

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2013 18:21

I wouldn't not go. It's not really about the food is it? I may be tempted to go to the service then go home (if it's not 400 miles away) then go back for a drink later on.

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2013 18:22

What are you going to do all afternoon? Confused

fritteringtwit · 05/05/2013 18:22

Where are they having the ceremony? Church? Register office? fancy hotel?

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 18:23

It'll be more like brunch than lunch if we eat before as we have to be at the church for 1.30pm and it's an hour away!

OP posts:
clattypatty · 05/05/2013 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2rebecca · 05/05/2013 18:23

What are you meant to do between the wedding finishing at 2.15 and the evening buffet? I presume bride and groom and ? select small party are going for a nice meal somewhere but just having a party and providing food for everyone in the evening. That's OK if you know it's happening, you just google nearby nice pubs. In some ways I'd prefer that to a wedding with meal after the service and it all finishes at 6pm. I'd rather go to a pub, do some sightseeing and then get pissed and dance in the evening.
It's only unreasonable if they expect you to hang around with them all day starving.

fritteringtwit · 05/05/2013 18:23

x post, soz

LadySlatternlysHoover · 05/05/2013 18:24

That's a long time for all day guests to be hanging about. I should imagine a few might get sozzled if they carry on drinking without food.

If it's not practical to go home, I'd keep some energy bars in my bag.

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 18:27

2rebecca no, everyone is going straight to the venue and no one is being fed. The venue is about an hour from the church so with photos it will probably be about 4pm before we get to the venue but we'll all be shit faced if there is nothing to do between 4pm and the evening guests arriving about 8!

OP posts:
Yonihadtoask · 05/05/2013 18:27

I'd take a packed lunch and go and eat in the car Grin

I have been to a couple of similarly timed weddings- at the first one there were trays of canapés circulating, but not enough to last the guests until the evening reception really. Yes, lots of drunk guests.

The second time I was prepared and, especially as all the DC were invited, I did pack sandwiches, drinks and cereal bars etc in the car to eat after the ceremony on the way to the reception venue.

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2013 18:29

Sad Taking a picnic to a wedding. Any local eateries?

TidyDancer · 05/05/2013 18:29

Oh this brings back bad memories. My friend got married at a country house in Hertfordshire a few years ago and they served nothing in the way of food until 8pm, even though the ceremony was at midday. There was Pimms on arrival and a bar there, but no food. It also happened to be on one of the hottest days of the year. Several people, unsurprisingly, passed out. We were all forced to stay outside in case we were needed for photos. The food was shite anyway, but everyone was so grateful for it by the time it arrived that I think they'd have eaten the south side of a horse going north.

Either don't go, or take inconspicuous snacks in your bag. You will need them.

mrspaddy · 05/05/2013 18:29

I wouldn't go. If they wanted an evening do for all their guests then they should have just had family to the actual ceremony and a meal for family, not except people to wait all day so they can save money.

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2013 18:30

How about just go to the important part-the service? Who has a Reception an hour from the church anyway? Confused

MegBusset · 05/05/2013 18:31

Ok then I would just stop off for quick pub lunch or picnic between church and venue.