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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you have an all day wedding you should have food before 9pm?

379 replies

Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 18:17

We've been invited to a wedding in August the invitation said that, despite the ceremony being at 1.30pm, there will be no food until the buffet at about 9pm?

AIBU to think that if you want to cut catering costs on your wedding day, you don't get married so early? It's seems really selfish to me to have an all day wedding with no food but I'd be quite happy if the service had been at say 4pm?

OP posts:
LimitedEditionLady · 05/05/2013 18:50

They can have a dramatic shoestring wedding if they want its THEIR wedding.

patienceisvirtuous · 05/05/2013 18:50

Go but do go off for something to eat and be upfront as others have suggested.

"We were starving so went for something to eat."

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 18:50

To be fair limited I have known the bride since I was 6 so i think we would have been invited any way but the evening guest list is ridiculously gigantic and I know it is to keep the cost per head down and the wedding presents up!

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 05/05/2013 18:51

It's a very selfish thing to do though. And smacks of a bride and groom who do not really care about the enjoyment of their guests.

Schooldidi · 05/05/2013 18:51

My mum went to a wedding like this a while ago and ended up having a diabetic hypo because nobody had told them there wouldn't be any food til late. She ended up pleading with the bar staff to find her anything to eat so they managed to rustle up a couple of bars of chocolate and a packet of crisps. She did not think it was an honour to spend hundreds of pounds (outfit, hotel for a weekend, petrol costs for a 4 hour round trip, present, etc) to be left standing without food which caused a medical problem.

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 18:52

meg after all this bridezilla crap I actually don't like them very much now, which is sad as I've known her for most of my life. It's true that weddings bring out the absolute worst in some people.

I'm sad that all of this has made me feel this way.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/05/2013 18:54

Just decline. This doesn't sound like fun, tbh.

MrsBungle · 05/05/2013 18:55

At least they told you I suppose. They obviously know it will be an issue or they wouldn't have said.

I can't understand what they expect folk to actually do between say 4ish and the evening bit starting. Just stand around and drink? Bit weird IMO.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 05/05/2013 18:56

Turn up with a big cool box filled with sandwiches, sausage rolls and scotch eggs. You'll be the most popular guest there.

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 18:57

I think that's what I'm going to do expat I just needed reassurance that I'm not wrong in thinking this is unreasonable. The upshot of us declining will be that we fall out but I'm no longer sure I want to be friends with people who think so little of their wedding guests and instead opt for the mememe approach.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2013 18:59

Get one of these to turn up

manticlimactic · 05/05/2013 19:00

Surely they wouldn't stop you from going for a bite to eat if they haven't provided food until 9pm...would they? Shock

And even if they protested I'd tell them where to get off. But it sounds like you don't like them much anyhoo.

LimitedEditionLady · 05/05/2013 19:01

This just makes me not want to get married and invite "friends"lol

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 19:02

Genius sparkling that could be our wedding present!

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 05/05/2013 19:02

You don't like them. So don't go to their wedding. Simples.

TidyDancer · 05/05/2013 19:02

If you were planning to treat them like this bride and groom, Limited, that's probably a good thing, Grin

LimitedEditionLady · 05/05/2013 19:03

I think its kind of ungrateful and not nice and i dont care how much stick i get because the last thing someone wants at their wedding is to find out people have been saying things about the couple and their decisions behind their back.

Corygal · 05/05/2013 19:04

bring a car picnic. With loads and loads of spare scram in case other guests get wind of your secret feast.

You'll all be knackered otherwise - I couldn't last that long, partic not drinking as well.

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 19:04

That's what's sad though wilson I did like them but I just feel they are being so unreasonable and selfish with their wedding plans, I can't get past it.

OP posts:
LimitedEditionLady · 05/05/2013 19:05

I didnt say i was tidydancer,dont imply i said something that i didnt and dont label me because i have a different opinion.

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 19:07

limited if you laid on the wedding of the century then I'm sure you'd be happy for people to talk about it behind your back. It seems simple to me- don't give people things to moan about and they won't.

The majority of people on here seem to agree that this is not acceptable and that the couple should have thought more about their guests.

OP posts:
LadySlatternlysHoover · 05/05/2013 19:07

It's perfectly possible to have a nice wedding on a shoestring budget by having the ceremony and then going to a nice pub restaurant for a meal. I have been to a couple of weddings like that and the atmosphere was fantastic.

TidyDancer · 05/05/2013 19:08

That's the point though, Limited. There's nothing to be grateful for when the bride and groom are acting in a way they know to cause problems. And you know they know, since they informed people of the lack of food for several hours. Most people will accept a bride and groom's choices and celebrate with them regardless of personal taste, but not when it's done in a way where there's clearly absolutely no concern for the guests welfare, and they have bumped up the numbers with the intent of increasing the presents.

That's not a scenario I would be grateful to be invited to, not a chance.

patienceisvirtuous · 05/05/2013 19:09

Slight overreaction Limited? I don't think Tidy implied anything - or labelled you! Confused

TidyDancer · 05/05/2013 19:09

Oh FFS limited, you made a sarcastic comment about not wanting to get married, I made one back. Stop taking it so seriously.

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