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AIBU?

To tell my friend I cant see her because of her 3 yo dd?

408 replies

bubbagee · 05/05/2013 18:13

8 months ago, we moved to a new area and I got friendly with a lovely group of women who all have dc's the same age as my ds (3). I became especially good friends with one of the mums as we have very similar interests.

The problem is how her 3 yo dd acts/behaves when she is at my house. She gets hysterical if she asks me, her mum or my ds to do something/say something and we either don't hear her/don't understand what she wants us to do. For example, she wanted ds to play pat a cake and he just couldn't really get the hang of it and she went into this absolute rage of tears, really deafening screaming and almost vomited because she was so worked up. She is a big girl, twice the size of my ds (they are 2 weeks apart in age) and really gets in your face. She gets really angry if me and her mum are talking about something which doesn't include her and will scream this awful high pitched sound until we stop talking and focus all attention on her.

This happens EVERY TIME they come over and if we go their house, even if we meet out.

The problem is, my ds just cant handle it. They came over yesterday and ds went and hid under the bed. When I went up to see what was wrong he was sobbing saying her screaming hurts his ears. They had only just walked in the door and already he was anticipating the drama. When she is having these episodes, my friend cuddles her and tries to placate her by singing but it just doesn't work. When they are at my house, her dd refuses to go home and yesterday they were here for 7 hours because every time she tried to get her shoes on she would just have an absolute meltdown. My friend believes in gentle discipline as do I, but I cant expose my ds to this any longer. yesterday was the final straw. I felt like id been battered mentally. He asks me every morning if they are coming over and has a really nervous look on his face. AIBU to talk to my friend about this and say I cant see her because of this? I would suggest we meet up just the two of us, but I know she wouldn't do this because she doesn't like leaving her dd.

OP posts:

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SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 08/05/2013 22:39

Update?

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GingerBlondecat · 09/05/2013 09:17

Bobs up, looks around hopefully . Update Please ? Sweetie.

(((((Hugs))))

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devientenigma · 09/05/2013 22:18

Sorry I haven't read all the posts, however I am a parent who has lost endless friends due to my DS behaviour. We are now isolated, prisoners in our own home as this is the only place DS feels safe. Yes he has sn, however regardless of the reason why we can't go out no one ever thinks to make a short visit. We have now been like this for over 3 year. I am starting to find it difficult to correspond with people even in a virtual world and find myself becoming even more of a recluse due to all that has happened. All I am saying is long term prospects.........it's not nice at all to find you have no one.