Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that good friend did not ask me to be maid of honor?

259 replies

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 29/04/2013 17:56

One of my best friends is getting married next year, on a girls night out she mentioned that she will picking bridesmaids and maid of honor in the next few weeks, we have been good friends for 7 years and I thought I would be included, but at the end of the day its her wedding and she can do what she wants.

On facebook I saw a few of her friends were delighted to be chosen for either a bridesmaid or maid of honor, did not really give it much thought other than oh well.

Saw friend today who wanted to explain why I wasn't included, she said although I was her best friend and wanted me to be maid of honor she asked another friend as they are slim and would look better on the photo's. :( I was ok with not being included, but wish she had not explained her reasons why. Feeling really hurt.

OP posts:
Greydog · 29/04/2013 19:50

What a miserable bitch. Don't go to the wedding - take yourself off for a nice day - or even weekend away. And as others have said - I wouldn't be friends any more.

greenteawithlemon · 29/04/2013 19:56
Shock

what an utter bitch.

I really don't think you should be friends with someone who could say something so awful to you.

mercibucket · 29/04/2013 20:08

Show yourself the self-respect you deserve and back away from this woman. She is no real friend of yours. :(

VoiceofUnreason · 29/04/2013 20:20

That is the nastiest most hurtful thing I have read for a long time. What a fucking cow. I'd be telling her exactly what I thought of her and then having absolutely nothing to do with her ever again, even if she came back on bended knee begging forgiveness.

FreedomOfTheTess · 29/04/2013 20:25

I'm sorry, but she is an utter bitch, and when you get your invitation I'd turn it down.

What makes wedding photos perfect, isn't having skinny bridesmaids and "symmetry", it's having the people you care most about in them. If you're really her best friend, your size wouldn't matter to her, she'd simply want you by her side and in her photos.

Ditch the bitch.

mrspaddy · 29/04/2013 20:28

Dump your friend.. this is not acceptable. You poor thing having to listen to someone like that. Don't let her get you down.

Hugs to you .. Flowers

Sunnymeg · 29/04/2013 20:36

When I got married I didn't give a thought to the dress size of the bridesmaids. It seems very strange. I think as a bride you need to be a bit diplomatic about things. She could have asked you to sign as a witness on the marriage register, or thought up a job for you rather than excluding you.

Original poster
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 29/04/2013 20:46

Thanks again for all your replies, you are such a lovely bunch.

Spoke to dh who was not impressed, and pretty much sums up what has been said above.

She has called but I did not answer and she did not leave a message, so I guess I will have some sort of contact at the school tomorrow.

OP posts:
Myinboxisfull · 29/04/2013 20:57

What a perfectly awful thing for her to say to you! One day I think that she'll look back and be horrified at what she has done.

It's expensive to attend a wedding. I think that I'd forgo attending and have a weekend away instead.

pigletmania · 29/04/2013 21:00

She sounds awful what a nasty thing to say, sorry that would be a deal breaker in a friendship for me. She is obviously not as nice as you think, I would not go to the wedding

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 29/04/2013 21:00

Great idea!

Treat yourself to a nice weekend away.

EarlyInTheMorning · 29/04/2013 21:01

So that's how much she values your friendship. I would not go.

mrsjay · 29/04/2013 21:02

Oh yes take yourself off somewhere nice the weekend of the wedding and tell her to stick it up her arse

Jan49 · 29/04/2013 21:11

She sounds absolutely horrible.Angry

I really think you need to consider whether her looks fit right with the rest of your friends and explain to her that you've decided she is just too tall/thin/blond or with that nose/those ears you just feel she spoils your friend portfolio so you are unfortunately obliged to dump her. Or you could suggest to her that if she wants the photos to look good, her fiance's going to need to find a different bride.Grin

Undertone · 29/04/2013 21:21

The fact that she's obviously trying to make up with you now makes it worse. Like she can be all nicey-nicey and she therefore earns your friendship back. Fuck. That.

Maybe a text back:
"Sorry I would have answered the phone but my HUGE FAT sausage fingers hit the wrong button."

"Hey hun. Listen - I've been thinking about your wedding and i am worried on your behalf... What are you going to do about the asymmetry caused by your MASSIVE ego in all the photos?!"

"Ffs stop trying to contact me to make up. I am busy eating a multipack of Scotch eggs and my phone going off is distracting me from my determined chomping."

"Take the hint: I don't want to speak to you. You have made it clear how precisely much you value our friendship. In fact i might tell the bridesmaids they were chosen for the roles simply for their figures. Bet that would make them feel a bit shit."

Size 16 is not huge! Blimey I've been everywhere from a 12 to a 22. What is she thinking about for dresses? Fucking lycra bodysuits?!

What a cow. Dump.

MissLurkalot · 29/04/2013 21:35

I like your penmanship Undertone

Fairydogmother · 29/04/2013 21:37

I've got two bridesmaids for my wedding next year and my sister was worried about looking wrong in a strapless dress so we just found one she was happy with! No big deal!

You want your best friends with you or else you don't consider them important enough. I was worried about being the chubbier bridesmaid at my friends wedding as the other 2 were size 8's but she made it perfectly clear that I was her matron of honour because she wanted me and didn't care about my size!

I feel really sorry for you - what a nasty thing to happen

picnicbasketcase · 29/04/2013 21:42

I'd tell her she could shove her symmetrical wedding up her arse sideways. And then rotate it slightly until she's happy it looks right in the pictures.

BarredfromhavingStella · 29/04/2013 21:48

This woman is not your friend-a friend would never say what she did.

Tell her to shove her wedding & fuck off to the other side of fuck-ditch this bitch.

Gingerodgers · 29/04/2013 21:52

I also think to announce that you will be choosing your bridesmaids soon, is a bit vain, as if you are all desperately wanting to be part of her special day, and hoping not to be disappointed when she doesn't choose everyone. 7 is quite a lot. Do most people not just ask the friends they want, rather than announcing it on some kind of short list, only for some to not quite make the grade? She sounds like a cow.

Gingerodgers · 29/04/2013 21:53

Just see it wasn't 7 bridesmaids! Never mind, I stand by my point...

Fairydogmother · 29/04/2013 21:56

Some people expect everyone to be interested in their wedding! Imagine what this girl will turn into. The hugest bridezilla ever...

CSIJanner · 29/04/2013 22:00

I'm not usually one for mean thoughts, but I hope she gets a ginormous red, ready to explode zit on her nose or chin the night before the big day next June.

apostropheuse · 29/04/2013 22:12

She is being an absolute bitch. I would be re-thinking my friendship with her to be honest.

I wasn't too surprised to read your post though OP. Many years ago my brother's wife had the similar happen to her - but it was her sister who did it. She basically told my sister in law that she would spoil the photos. My sister in law was slim, but her error was that she wore glasses, and her sister in law didn't think she was pretty enough. This wasn't entirely unexpected from this girl though - she was the type of person that lots of people didn't like because of her bitchy nature.

In a bizarre twist of fate the bridezilla sister was involved in a serious car accident a few months before the wedding, resulting in fairly significant facial scarring. She had to buy special makeup to try to cover the scars for the wedding.

Anyway, YANBU and I bet your beauty shines from you, because you wouldn't treat another person the way you've been treated. You're probably gorgeous anyway!

breatheslowly · 29/04/2013 22:27

She sounds like a total idiot. I would respond to communications from her, saying "sorry not to have got back to you, I have not been feeling very symmetrical recently" or "I can't bring DS to play as I am too asymmetrical to leave the house" and just continue until she gives up.