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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that good friend did not ask me to be maid of honor?

259 replies

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 29/04/2013 17:56

One of my best friends is getting married next year, on a girls night out she mentioned that she will picking bridesmaids and maid of honor in the next few weeks, we have been good friends for 7 years and I thought I would be included, but at the end of the day its her wedding and she can do what she wants.

On facebook I saw a few of her friends were delighted to be chosen for either a bridesmaid or maid of honor, did not really give it much thought other than oh well.

Saw friend today who wanted to explain why I wasn't included, she said although I was her best friend and wanted me to be maid of honor she asked another friend as they are slim and would look better on the photo's. :( I was ok with not being included, but wish she had not explained her reasons why. Feeling really hurt.

OP posts:
MaryPoppinsBag · 29/04/2013 18:18

How long until the wedding?
I'd be tempted to get myself goddam fucking gorgeous by then.

PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty · 29/04/2013 18:19

Ignore. What a horrible mean person... I hope her wedding is shit, frankly.

2cats2many · 29/04/2013 18:19

Oh my! It sounds like you're well out of that wedding. She sounds like she has the beginnings of a complete Bridezilla.

Why on earth do people behave like that just because they are going to have a big party? She sounds just awful.

saintmerryweather · 29/04/2013 18:19

I would ring her and say 'im quite upset about what you said earlier about why you havent chosen to me be a bridesmaid. i honestly thought we were closer friends than that, and im quite hurt that you arent choosing me just because of my size.'

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 29/04/2013 18:20

I can remember your thread Mama1980, I think!! I seem to remember your brother really supported you against the silly cow.

Crinkle77 · 29/04/2013 18:20

What? I would tell her to eff off. What a bitch. No true friend would behave like that

AnneEyhtMeyer · 29/04/2013 18:21

I don't think it matters if her mother or sister have influenced her, she is an adult and she decided to make this decision for the reason she gave.

I think it is unforgivable, and I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who was that shallow and mean. Definitely decline the wedding invitation.

Wishfulmakeupping · 29/04/2013 18:21

What a nasty piece of work she is fucking uber bitch. Tell her you'd best not come to the whole wedding in case you make the reception 'unsymmetrical' fuck her.
This has made me feel very cross on your behalf OP

Wishfulmakeupping · 29/04/2013 18:22

I do think you should say something to her today she needs pulling up on her behaviour then cut her out

dangly131 · 29/04/2013 18:22

I am bridesmaid to my best friend who will be getting married next year. I will be the biggest out of the chosen few! Even if I do lose weight like I intend to I still will be as they are all size 4/6. My friend has suggested different style dresses as she knows I will be uncomfortable with certain styles and that they won't flatter my figure. She knows what looks good on me and what doesn't...just because I am bigger doesn't mean to say I can't look nice! I know I damn well can! Likewise, she knows that as one of the girls is very tall, heels won't work well with her so she is suggesting we all wear shoes of our choice in a given colour.

HeadFairy · 29/04/2013 18:23

People are really strange aren't they? I seriously didn't give a thought to what the photos would look like when choosing bridesmaids. They were my best friends. End of thought process.

YANBU to be upset. She's a cowbag!

PumpkinPositive · 29/04/2013 18:26

Face it, you're probably prettier than she is and she can't stand the competition.

chattychattyboomba · 29/04/2013 18:26

Omg! That's not nice!!! I have to say, one of my good friends was not a bridesmaid because she has expressed how self conscious she was around my friends (who happen to be thin and disgustingly beautiful) and HATED any photos of herself being taken... So i stupidly assumed she wouldn't enjoy the role of bridesmaid. Turns out she was annoyed... But I did choose family and friends i had known for pretty much my whole life. She gave a really touching speech so still played a very special role in our wedding.

WaterColouredRainbow · 29/04/2013 18:27

My brothers ex tried this I am heavily scarred and she wanted me to cover up so I didn't spoil the photos! I can't believe some people think like this

Makes me so angry that people are like this. The only people I wanted in my wedding photos were all the people we loved - regardless of what they looked like and were wearing.

Not surprised she is now an ex.

MsGee · 29/04/2013 18:27

Be glad she's shown her true colours. Withdraw from the friendship and the wedding.

Her texts are showing that she knows she is out of order and being a bitch. But she's not apologising.

I'm afraid I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who placed photo symmetry over friendship.

XBenedict · 29/04/2013 18:30

OMG you poor thing! Was about to come on here and give the whole "her wedding her choice, stop being so precious" but then I read your OP. YANBU feel very Sad for you. Are you sure she's a friend? Sending unmumsnetty hugs x

Original poster
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 29/04/2013 18:33

mama1980 that is awful :(

She is getting married June next year.

Yes others are size 6/8 and I am a 16.

I just know if it was me I would want the peoples closest to me regardless of size.

OP posts:
PumpkinPositive · 29/04/2013 18:33

the phrase she used was wanting the photo's to look symmetrical !

How ...odd. If she and the bridesmaids are all of a similar build, there's every chance she'll just fade into the wallpaper. Best to get a bit of variety if its the aesthetics she's so concerned about.

Original poster
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 29/04/2013 18:34

Thanks for all your kind words, dh not home for a few hours and I feel a lot better now that I did before posting.

OP posts:
Mama1980 · 29/04/2013 18:37

Grin yep my brother was very supportive and the wedding didn't happen.

Agnesmum · 29/04/2013 18:37

I can't believe that someone would say such a nasty thing. As said above ditch the bitch and don't go to her boring symmetrical wedding!

poozlepants · 29/04/2013 18:38

Lets hope all her bridesmaids and maid of honour get pregnant round about October/November. That'll make her stupid wedding photos symmetrical.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 29/04/2013 18:45

I am astounded by this. I would personally not be able to have someone like this for a friend. Is it not ridiculous enough that you're dressing a bunch of grown women in matching dresses, but now they also have to be the same size? Will they all also colour their hair the same way?

Nobody actually cares about this shit. It will all be forgotten as soon as the wedding is over, but the memories of the way Bridezilla treats people will last a lifetime.

She's supposedly your friend but is excluding you from this because of your appearance. Imagine if it were anything else. Oh yes, my dear friend is having a party but didn't invite me because I'm overweight. It sounds ridiculous because it is.

Angry
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 29/04/2013 18:46

I wonder at what point she will ever realise what a completely unacceptable thing this was to say to anyone...but particularly a best friend!

mama...so glad she's an ex! Cow bitches from hell have no place as family or as friends!

GreenEggsAndNichts · 29/04/2013 18:46

poozle yes I was just thinking, here's hoping half of them become pregnant with twins in the meantime. :)