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Original poster

To be upset that good friend did not ask me to be maid of honor?

259 replies

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 29/04/2013 17:56

One of my best friends is getting married next year, on a girls night out she mentioned that she will picking bridesmaids and maid of honor in the next few weeks, we have been good friends for 7 years and I thought I would be included, but at the end of the day its her wedding and she can do what she wants.

On facebook I saw a few of her friends were delighted to be chosen for either a bridesmaid or maid of honor, did not really give it much thought other than oh well.

Saw friend today who wanted to explain why I wasn't included, she said although I was her best friend and wanted me to be maid of honor she asked another friend as they are slim and would look better on the photo's. :( I was ok with not being included, but wish she had not explained her reasons why. Feeling really hurt.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 01/05/2013 11:56

You did so well grrrrrrr, well done you. I am sorry her excuses are pathetic and spineless, she did not sound like much of a friend. My half sister tried to pull a similar stunt, she is 22 years older than me and s very toxic and self centred. She never loved me and resented me when I was born as "I took her dad away". She married a lovely man and had two sons, she had an affair left him.

At the time of my wedding she said she couldn't come and was too busy, so I invited her ex husband, he is lovely and the father of my 2 nephews. Her brothers grew up with him, when she heard this she was furious and telephoned me to tell me to uninvited him. I told her straight that it was my wedding an I an invite whoever I want. She slammed the phone down and has not spoken to m since (9 years). I feel happy really and don't miss her

PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty · 01/05/2013 11:59

Well done you. I hope her wedding is shit!

PuggyMum · 01/05/2013 12:07

At least you have closure now which considering its only been a few days is pretty good going. This would have really eaten me up.

You've maintained dignity throughout and over time she will realise (if not already) what a gem of a friend she has lost. Your gemness has shone through here.

YellowTulips · 01/05/2013 12:08

Well done OP Grin

pigletmania · 01/05/2013 12:10

If she only just sat you down to explain from the outset than I feel it would be ok, but she she nt she used a very nasty excuse and was still using it today when you sat down with her

ChocsAwayInMyGob · 01/05/2013 12:11

Well handled OP. Saying tough things face to face takes guts and you did very well.

Now don't forget to buy her a nice toilet roll cover or some such tasteful knick knack and stick it up her Bridezilla arse.

pigletmania · 01/05/2013 12:13

She could have suggested an informal role to make you involved, or to do a reading. Instead she was not honest to you about the situation, instead using a nasty excuse. Does not sound like much of a friend

FreedomOfTheTess · 01/05/2013 12:17

You've handled this really well OP.

I'm sorry it has cost you a friendship, but to be honest, you're better off out of it.

Enjoy your day with your other friend and have fun shopping.

claudedebussy · 01/05/2013 12:20

very well handled. i'm just so Shock on your behalf.

what a bitchy sister she has. well rid imo

pigletmania · 01/05/2013 12:34

She had better start getting a backbone soon or what else is her sister going to ruin, she has already cost a good friend.

Dubjackeen · 01/05/2013 12:45

Well done OP, you have been nothing but dignified throughout. I am incredulous that a 'friend' would say such a thing in the first place and then try to justify it. You have handled it so well. Let it be her loss. Good friends are not that easily found. I think she will regret this, and has set herself up for many a hard knock ahead if she is allowing herself to be pushed around to this extent. I have heard of bridezillas but she takes it to a whole new level.
You probably will not now be invited to the wedding, so I suggest toasting the symmetrical gathering from afar-on a nice holiday, preferably.
Hold your head high OP, and enjoy the company of true friends. Flowers

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 01/05/2013 12:58

well done op... yes, its cost you a friendship, but honestly, who needs friends like that?

her sister im sure will cause more issues for her leading up to the big day and she'll probably end up regreting how she treated you.

only people that need to grow up and like lots of drama stay bitter about having a crush on someone and not "getting" them 10+ years ago. madness Confused

Casserole · 01/05/2013 13:02

OP you are bloody awesome. I am already married but I would quite like to have another wedding so I could have you in it Grin

LemonPeculiarJones · 01/05/2013 13:03

Flowers Stands and applauds OP Flowers

VoiceofUnreason · 01/05/2013 13:06

Joins in applause. Fabulous!

SusanneLinder · 01/05/2013 13:11

A 16, bloody hell, is that supposed to be overweight....Hmm The way she is talking, I thought you were morbidly obese.

What an utter cow!

givemeaclue · 01/05/2013 13:17

Mexican wave for op...

Well done.

Fairydogmother · 01/05/2013 13:30

very well done OP

maturely handled and you've def done the right thing. i'd say she has a lot of think about now so perhaps she wont make a similar mistake in the future??!!!

Squitten · 01/05/2013 13:34

Well done OP! You handled that brilliantly!

She obviously is not a good friend so you've lost nothing. It's a shame she is allowing her wedding to be dictated by her family. She will regret it all in the end and she will have to live with that for the rest of her life.

JParkson · 01/05/2013 13:38

Absolute madness from her sister!

Well done OP, you handled it very well Thanks Wink

CatelynStark · 01/05/2013 14:06

Another well done! A horrible situation that your ex friend will regret for many years to come - sad, but entirely her own fault.

Her sister is completely bonkers!

QuintessentialOHara · 01/05/2013 14:57

Well done.

What a spineless and pathetic woman.

fuzzpig · 01/05/2013 15:03

Gosh, she sounds like a twelve year old, as does her sister (actually that's an insult to twelve year olds) her sister fancied your DH but you 'won' him, good grief, get over it silly woman! (The sister I mean)

I've had situations where a couple of DH's colleagues have continually blanked me/bitched about me due to them having a thing for him. It got to me (I hate the idea of anyone thinking badly of me) but in the end I just found I pitied them :o

You have done absolutely brilliantly handling it so maturely and being assertive. You are an inspiration. Make sure you send us a virtual postcard from your holiday :o

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 01/05/2013 17:27

Well done Grrrrrrrrrr! You have handled this amazingly well and deserve much, much better

StephaniePowers · 01/05/2013 17:40

Wow, you handled that so well!
I feel a bit sorry for your ex-friend, she handled a difficult situation extremely poorly and she will have learned a lesson about hurting friends.
I have had a few things pointed out to me by my inlaws about my appearance and it hurts very much but sadly I can't detach with the grace which you have shown.