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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset that good friend did not ask me to be maid of honor?

259 replies

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 29/04/2013 17:56

One of my best friends is getting married next year, on a girls night out she mentioned that she will picking bridesmaids and maid of honor in the next few weeks, we have been good friends for 7 years and I thought I would be included, but at the end of the day its her wedding and she can do what she wants.

On facebook I saw a few of her friends were delighted to be chosen for either a bridesmaid or maid of honor, did not really give it much thought other than oh well.

Saw friend today who wanted to explain why I wasn't included, she said although I was her best friend and wanted me to be maid of honor she asked another friend as they are slim and would look better on the photo's. :( I was ok with not being included, but wish she had not explained her reasons why. Feeling really hurt.

OP posts:
Doinmummy · 29/04/2013 18:47

You poor thing . I bet you're stunning and she's jealous.

Even if it is her Mum being a bridezilla there's no need for her to actually say anything so hurtful. She needn't have given a reason at all.

Bitch

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 29/04/2013 18:48

Or maybe a broken leg? That would definately look unsymmetrical

or would the bride insist another bridesmaid break the other leg to balance out the photos on the other side

WildeRumpus · 29/04/2013 18:48

Your best friend has told you you are too fat for her wedding! Your big fat self will ruin her day so she wants you out of it. That is unbelievably shocking! Symmetrical photos?! Wtaf?!

Am so angry and upset for you op. Please don't take that shit.

ConfusedPixie · 29/04/2013 18:52

Yanbu, she, on the other hand, is a badger's shitwadded wankstain.

Don't have anything more to do with her, she's really not worth it if this is how she really feels!

Doinmummy · 29/04/2013 18:53

And now she's trying to be all nicey nicey because she knows she's been a bitch.

travailtotravel · 29/04/2013 18:53

B-iatch.
Best off out. Of the wedding and the friendship.

Fairydogmother · 29/04/2013 18:53

Wow

What a complete bitch

She doesn't deserve a friend like you

Gemini1974 · 29/04/2013 18:56

Shallow shallow shallow

edwardcullensotherwoman · 29/04/2013 18:57

That's awful! Bridesmaids should be picked based on your relationship with them, not what they look like! I had 4, 2 were smaller and 2 were bigger than me. I chose a dress that suited them all, they all had their hair as it suited them and shoes they were comfortable in. And when one of them got married, she and her other bridesmaids were all size 10ish, I on the other hand was a 16 and 6 months pregnant!
And by the by, mine and her wedding photos were stunning, and not an ounce of symmetry between them! Grin

I would not bother going at all now and write the reason on the RSVP if I were you

QuintessentialOHara · 29/04/2013 19:04

Wow. What a shallow cow.

But ouch, that hurt!

This woman has not behaved like a friend at all. And she did not even have the grace to lie.... Sad

Maxium12 · 29/04/2013 19:05

This is such an outrageous thing for one friend to say to the other that I'm having trouble believing someone could be that much of a vain self centred bitch.

If it is really genuine then dump her after sending her a link to this thread.

olgaga · 29/04/2013 19:10

Shocking! She is not "one of your best friends" - no way!

I'd be far too busy to go to her wedding.

CatelynStark · 29/04/2013 19:10

I would never speak to her again. Ever.

BasketzatDawn · 29/04/2013 19:11

Goodness, and she's a friend? At least you've got till next year to decide whether you want to attend her wedding. You can save on the present and buy yourself some chocolate! I'm not making light of it, BTW - you've had excellent responses from others. I'd be very hurt indeed in the same circs. And I don't think my feelings for such a 'friend' would ever wholly recover. You can always sleep on it, see how you feel later, but no harm in telling her what she said was vv nasty.

AaDB · 29/04/2013 19:14

OP, you have unanimous support. Thanks

I don't feel the same way about my sil. She had 7ish bridesmaids, her DH had the same number of groomsmen, including my DH and ds. I have known her for almost 25 years, she included her new sil of two years acquaintance. My oh was invited to the stag weekend, I was not invited to the hen. If someone is shallow enough to choose people based on how the wedding photographs look, they deserve what they get.

TidyDancer · 29/04/2013 19:17

Your friend is a shitbag and I wouldn't go to the wedding if I was in your shoes tbh.

I was a bridesmaid for the same friend twice, once at a size 22, then years later at her second wedding, I was a size 10. Then when her sister got married, I was an 8-month-pregnant bridesmaid. Grin

MrsOakenshield · 29/04/2013 19:22

god, that's awful OP. Let's hope she approaches her marriage with rather more maturity than she's approaching her wedding!

Jipster · 29/04/2013 19:24

OP YANBU - she is shallow and superficial. Have these Flowers please

mrsjay · 29/04/2013 19:28

I would tell her to shove her wedding up her skinny arse sorry that is horrible she isn't your friend she is superficiial and shallow, that is terrible she hurt you like that ,

Gemini1974 · 29/04/2013 19:28

The bride, not you OP!

SanitaryOwl · 29/04/2013 19:31

What an utter fucking bitch this bride is. Never heard anything so ridiculous. Dump her.

Finola1step · 29/04/2013 19:34

Agree with MrsOak. Your friend needs to wake up pretty damn quick. I just don't get this "my perfect day at all cost" mentality.

She's no friend. Take a deep breath and see her for what she is. I believe that things like weddings can show people to be what they truly are. Your friend is shallow and judgemental. Her true colours are coming out now because she thinks she can say and do whatever she likes as its her "big day". Luckily for you, you have found out now before investing more time and energy into this "friendship". Be polite but slowly step back. Sadly she's so wrapped up in herself, she probably won't notice.

MissLurkalot · 29/04/2013 19:38

With friends like that, who needs enemies!

Ignore all contact from her... Nasty nasty piece of work she is.
How bloody dare she say that..
Can't compute it... Please don't reply to her.
Literally, cut her off. She is pure toxic.
So sorry you've been treated this way. :-(

IHateSafeStyle · 29/04/2013 19:40

What a bitch Shock

Sianilaa · 29/04/2013 19:42

YANBU!

What a shallow bitch. I wouldn't be friends with someone who said that to me. X