AIBU?
to think most men would jump at the chance of NSA sex?
Ibelieveyoubutmytommygundont · 20/04/2013 23:13
SO I met a guy in a bar about 2 weeks ago. Seemed like a nice guy and we swapped numbers. We were both quite clear that neither of us wanted a relationship. I said I was looking more for a Friends with Benefits type situation. We are both single - so no harm done.
Went to his house last week and one thing lead to another.
The week afterwards he turned quite cold towards me. I asked him if he wanted to meet up for round 2 again soon and he avoided the question and was basically playing games.
I said I couldn't be bothered playing games. He said ok then and deleted me off Facebook.
I'm really pissed off about it tbh. I think most men would love that type of offer and I don't get why he turned so horrible.
AgentZigzag · 20/04/2013 23:19
'I think most men would love that type of offer'
But he didn't.
It could have been for any reason under the sun though.
I'm not sure why you're that pissed off because you've said you're not looking for a relationship, without being shitty, that's what's happened isn't it?
Ibelieveyoubutmytommygundont · 20/04/2013 23:21
I don't think men like it when you turn the tables
I don't think I turned the tables though. I was really upfront about what I wanted.
All he ever said to me was that he didn't want a relationship and that he'd been single for 4 years now.
Casmama · 20/04/2013 23:24
Maybe he just wanted a one off or maybe he expected you to be so overcome when you did the deed that you would suddenly want a relationship and was pissed off by your indifference.
There are many possible explanations, don't drive yourself crazy thinking about it.
It does seem odd that you didn't want a relationship where you could reasonably have expectations of each other- instead you want casual but then are really annoyed when he doesn't live up to our expectations. Are you sure about what you want?
Tweasels · 20/04/2013 23:24
You are contradicting yourself because you are questioning why he does't want a sexual relationship with you.
You're trying to attach strings to your no strings attached deal.
He wanted a one off shag, not an ongoing relationship.
Continually having sex with the same person is a relationship.
Ibelieveyoubutmytommygundont · 20/04/2013 23:26
maybe for him the sex was crap or he had his beer gogles on or maybe he is not looking for a shag buddy.
We were both sober. I didn't sleep with him the night I met him, I went over to his house about a week later.
Maybe the sex was crap - he came twice so couldn't have been the worst sex that has ever taken place.
AgentZigzag · 20/04/2013 23:30
Are you pretending you don't want a relationship because you've been burnt in the past, but secretly you're hoping they fall for you without you laying yourself open to the pain of being rejected?
(I'm massively making it up reading between the lines there and may have mixed your OP up with a plot for a mills and boons I've never read 
)
ALittleStranger · 20/04/2013 23:32
This > "Continually having sex with the same person is a relationship."
I think most men are very sceptical that repeat NSA sex can ever really be free of strings. Either they are wary that women are trying to sucker them in to a proper relationship by stealth, or they are wary of feelings developing.
I'm inclined to think the caution is entirely reasonable, on both counts.
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