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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want this child to come on holidays with us

838 replies

arabesque · 10/04/2013 11:08

A group of girls I used to share a house with years ago have arranged to go on a reunion weekend to the West of Ireland in June. The plan was to book into a nice hotel, and spend the time relaxing, having nice meals and a few drinks and catching up and reminiscing. However, one of the group has now asked if its okay to bring her six year old daughter as her husband wants to play in a golf tournament that weekend. A child hanging around is going to completely change the tone of the holiday imho. I haven't spoken to all of the group yet but the two I have been in touch with are not too keen either.

AI (or we)BU to think of saying that we'd prefer if it was kept to adults only as it's the first time we've all been together in about ten years?

OP posts:
rainbow2000 · 20/04/2013 20:33

Yes teh meetup thread is in chat add your name

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 20/04/2013 21:00

Well, I'm always first in the queue for child-free socialising - however I don't think there's anything wrong per se with not being like that. What is wrong is not accepting that the rest of the group wants a child-free do and then either accepting that, or pulling out. Anyone who thinks their needs and wants should unquestioningly take precedence over the majority just 'because' is unreasonable, selfish and immature.

I'm sure mydoor is feeling ganged up on as a result of the responses to her posts ... just like EF.

Whereas in reality it is simply the majority happening to share the same opinion and not willing to be shouted down and walked over by a single-person minority.

GingerBlondecat · 22/04/2013 06:44

Update OP ??

thistlelicker · 22/04/2013 10:21

Keen for updates ! Still can't believe how ef has behaved! Like a petulant child who didn't get the toy she wanted!

SerendipityAlways · 22/04/2013 10:32

This is a fantastic thread Arabesque and I think you have behaved with a lot of dignity throughout. I think many of us have met people like EF in our past lives...scary!

CorrieDale · 23/04/2013 11:15

So the vipers' nest prediction was spot on. I'm sorry but not surprised, and wishing I'd coughed up that fiver.

Fwiw I do not believe for one second that EF will regret what she has done. She will by now be slagging you off to her post-natal friends who will learn, when it happens to them, that there can be two sides to every story. Unless one of them happens to have come across this thread and is trying even now to reconcile the 2 versions of events...

Enjoy your weekend arabesque. As so many others have said - you've dodged a bullet there! When it's all over I would love the name of the hotel!

prettybird · 23/04/2013 11:28

We can't really get a full update until June and we find out whether or not EF appeared! Grin

Hope you and your true friends have an absolutely fabulous and child free time and come back having had such a good time already planning the next one even if it does have to be years in the future :)

mumbaisapphire · 06/06/2013 23:15

It's June at last. Any update OP? Or do we have to wait a bit longer?

rubiesandpearls · 06/06/2013 23:17

Bumping for update too!!

TidyDancer · 06/06/2013 23:30

Argh! I saw this thread come back and thought the OP was here with an update! Come on OP!

Blueandwhitelover · 07/06/2013 07:44

Oh, I'd forgotten this! Hope Op comes back for an update, has she posted anything recently?

fryingpantoface · 07/06/2013 08:32

I'd forgotten this! Any update?

gorionine · 07/06/2013 08:46

Just read the entire thread this morning! I just am [shocked] that things had to go this far. I totally agree with:
Well, I'm always first in the queue for child-free socialising - however I don't think there's anything wrong per se with not being like that. What is wrong is not accepting that the rest of the group wants a child-free do and then either accepting that, or pulling out.
I am actually never in the queue for child free events because child care is an absolute hell for me to organise (DH working long hours, no family around so only potential babysitters would be attending child free event themselvesSmile -totally refuse to hire someone I do not know-)
Friend should just have said she could not come because of childcare issues and ask for all the juicy gossip afterwards. All the group would have been sympathetic and would have probably missed her being there instead of now probably thinking they have had a lucky escape and being glad she actually did not come.

For what it is worth Arabesque, and a bit late, I do not think given the circumstance you and the rest of the group could have done anything differently. I think you all gave her plenty opportunities to stop the situation escalating.

wizzler · 08/06/2013 16:17

I too check this thread regulalry to see if there is an update.. surely it can't be long now! op?

Original poster
Arabesque · 10/06/2013 11:39

Hi

Just back from a great weekend! One long wanted but totally unexpected pregnancy announcement (which meant unfortunately that we had to drink her share of the champers and wine), loads of shocking revelations about who fancied who at college and

EF did not turn up but did text us all a photograph of herself and DD on a beach on Saturday with 'Greetings from Barbados. Hope you're having a great time in rainy dull Ireland'. Hmm. None of us actually believe she's in Barbados but she's obviously out of the country somewhere as the weather was scorching in Ireland, which she obviously wasn't aware of. We suspect she's probably in Torremolinos or somewhere. To be honest, we'd all (apart from pregnant friend) had a couple of glasses of midday champagne when we got it and we just had a good laugh. PG Friend is so happy and over the moon nothing could upset her at the moment Smile.

OP posts:
LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 10/06/2013 11:46

YANBU - It is a girly weekend away, probably alcohol flowing, dancing the night away kind of reunion. No place for a 6 year old. Even if it were a tame get together having tea and scones the poor girl would be bored rigid!

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 10/06/2013 11:48

Sorry - that will teach me to post without reading the whole thread! lol

LizTerrine · 10/06/2013 11:49

Sounds like a great weekend :)

Noseynoonoo · 10/06/2013 11:49

Love it - both that you had a great time and that your 'friend' felt the need to send that photo. Hilarious really!

Noseynoonoo · 10/06/2013 11:50

Love it - both that you had a great time and that your 'friend' felt the need to send that photo. Hilarious really!

LadyBeagleEyes · 10/06/2013 11:53

Thanks for the update Op.
Glad your weekend turned out so fab.

LemonBreeland · 10/06/2013 11:54

Thanks for the update. So pleased your weekend was not soured by EF.

The text photo is truly hilarious!

LadyBeagleEyes · 10/06/2013 11:54

Oh BTW, did she go with her DH?
I thought he was on a golfing weekend.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 10/06/2013 11:54

Arabesque so happy this thread popped up again - thanks for updating!

So so pleased for you (and your pregnant friend, how nice) and pmsl at the thought of EF in Torremolinos.

Grin
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 10/06/2013 11:59

What do you mean unfortunately you had to drink her share of the champers and wine? Grin
Sounds very fortunate to me.