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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned my friend seemed pissed off after I looked after her DD?

236 replies

AuntFini · 09/04/2013 15:51

I took my friend's DD (23 months) out for the day today to give my friend a chance to prepare for her parents and siblings visiting for the week. I have no kids.

We went to a farm and I took her for lunch, and after 4 hours went back to meet my friend at the coach station where she was meeting family. By this point her DD was asleep in her car seat in my car, exhausted. My friends asked where her DD was and I said asleep and she seemed really cross. She moved her DD (still sleeping, in carseat) to her car, got in and left.

I'm left feeling a bit confused as to what I've done on this one!

OP posts:
RenterNomad · 09/04/2013 19:48

Yeah, foot licking is lovely, but best not to get used to it, eh? Wink

candyandyoga · 09/04/2013 19:52

She is a patronising bitch!

You sound wonderful and I bet you would make a fab mummy :-)

I would cut her off and be friends with me!

Seriously - delete her from your life and don't even respond to her again and get in with your life.

Do you want children? X

CSIJanner · 09/04/2013 19:53

"Nethun" - love it!

Shame she doesn't appreciate you for all you've done. Sounds like she's been sniping at her husband for him to come out with that line. I would have invoiced for lunch just to insure that she knew that I fed her daughter but then that's me being pernickety.

Have a glass or two for me! I miss my Wine

GreatUncleEddie · 09/04/2013 19:56

Cheeky mare. I have plenty of experience of toddlers and I have no idea how to make one sleep on the way to a day out when it is morning and they aren't tired.

RollerCola · 09/04/2013 19:58

Blimey I'm really shocked at the rudeness of this woman. If a friend had looked after my 2yr old child for 4 hours (especially a friend who didn't have children of their own) I would have been grateful to them for THE REST OF MY LIFE!

I very rarely had the opportunity to have any child-free time when mine were little so any offers to look after my children would have been met with 'yes, yes, please do with them whatever you wish' from me Grin

Never heard such rudeness.

Hedgepig · 09/04/2013 20:11

I'd be interested to hear how she thought you could stop her DD sleeping in the car. You were driving the car so it's not really practical or safe to reach into the back and prod the little girl to keep her awake is it Shock. I have 2 DS and I have never been able to keep them awake on car journeys

Original poster
AuntFini · 09/04/2013 20:11

I do want children just not for a while yet as I'm just starting a new career and need to get my teeth into my new job for a bit longer before I start trying.

OP posts:
LifeofPo · 09/04/2013 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

breatheslowly · 09/04/2013 20:33

I'd love to know how she gets her DD to sleep only on specific car journeys. I have a 2yo DD and have no idea - I have my own and really don't understand.

I'd drop her unless you get a full, grovelling apology.

eccentrica · 09/04/2013 20:38

Just Shock at her rudeness. I hope you do tell her to fuck off.

FrubesOnTheCouch · 09/04/2013 20:39

cow!

fluffypillow · 09/04/2013 20:41

You sound like a lovely friend. I would be so grateful to you if it was me.

She was very rude. YANBU.

quietbatperson · 09/04/2013 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heinz55 · 09/04/2013 20:50

AuntFini, I have to tell you this: I have two dc, and I also have the most amazing friends - their only fault is that I cannot manage to keep up with their kindness and generosity! I mean that and yet none of them would volunteer to have my dc for an afternoon!! You are worth your weight in gold and really, your former friend is not worthy of your generosity. I know I'm joining a very long queue but I'll be your friend Grin - and I promise to be sweet as pie when you drop them back fast asleep!! Wine

Glittertwins · 09/04/2013 20:51

You can have my pair any time! Sounds like you both had a great time and your friend is being overly precious.
There is nothing that anyone can do about a toddler falling asleep. Yes, it can be annoying when DS falls asleep 1 mile from home but he had a good time running about first. It's impossible to keep him awake but he's not a toy to only be taken out / played with for our convenience.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 09/04/2013 20:53

Your friend is a T.W.A.T.

That is all.

Charlesroi · 09/04/2013 20:55

AuntFini - judging by the long (but largely orderly) queue of mums wanting you to take their children out, I'd say you did a grand job.

Your friend is probably just dreading the prospect of visitors.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue · 09/04/2013 21:00

Wow, just wow at the critique of your efforts. I'd have been so grateful for help back in the day.

Definitely ditch this person, they don't deserve you.

thezebrawearspurple · 09/04/2013 21:29

What an ungrateful bitch, her and her husband! Fools. You sound like a great friend and a brilliant babysitter, her loss. Hope you told her to fuck offSmile

BlueBumedFly · 09/04/2013 21:51

What a cowbag!!

Probably insecure that you entertained her child effortlessly and returned a happy and exhausted child with a smile on your face. She probably cannot manage that as she is so uptight about micro managing her own child that she has forgotten how to have fun.

Rude!!

My DD is 5 and loves farms and Aunties :)

Jessepinkman · 09/04/2013 21:55

At the risk of being the lone voice, the mum wanted her dd back so her dd would be presented in the best light to the family that she was prepaing for, she didn't want her dd being asleep at first and then a grumpy little grump later when she woke up. That's why she was upset, she wanted everything to be perfect for her visistors.

YWNBU. You helped her and her dd had a lovely time. Its not your fault, it was timing that her dd had so much fun with you, and I'm sure over their visit that the rest will see dd for how sweet she is, not just the tired grump. You are an easy blame. dd is not normally like this, she normally sleeps really well etc.

I hope that I am clear, that I don't think that you have done anything wrong, she has just met her family and the ICEBREAKER was asleep.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 09/04/2013 22:34

Jesse

yes, we all understand that. Being upset and being a bitch are two different things.

chansondumatin · 09/04/2013 22:42

Awful behaviour. Sounds as though your friend is used to taking you for granted. Didn't she imply, in her own (badly punctuated) words that you were there to 'make her life easier'? I wouldn't see her again until she realises that the world doesn't revolve around her and her childcare needs.

olivertheoctopus · 09/04/2013 22:48

YANBU. Your friend IBU. Presumably she didn't say beforehand 'please don't let her nap' altho how you stop a kid falling asleep in the car is beyond me.

BlackeyedSusan · 09/04/2013 22:55

Shock you let a toddler sleep in the car? don't you know you have to keep poking them with a pointy stick to keep them awake.

it is virtually impossibble to keep a tired toddler from falling asleep in the car. even shouting their name and talking to them loudly and shaking their leg at every traffic light!

your friend is ungrateful. there are planty of sweet children about, with lovely parents wwho would be extremely grateful to lend a you a child so they can get things done/sleep