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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

swayed for a girl =diet,timing,ph levels,and got another boy.

220 replies

racheael76 · 06/04/2013 19:32

hi i really wanted a daughter this time as we already have 2 sons.i did the dairy diet,milk no salt limited chicken drank evian water ,took calcuim and magnesuim tablets,douche with massengill vinegar(cost a fortune form overseas!) plotted ovulation conceived 5 days before ovulation.i did every thing i know for a liitle girl.so many people have a daughter and a son.did anyone sway and got the sex they wanted?did anyone sway and got wrong gender?what did i do wrong?

OP posts:
Original poster
racheael76 · 06/04/2013 23:57

dear cockyfox if i had a girl i wouldnt mind if she wanted to do kick boxing and her favourite toy was hulk because as long as she was happy i would be.i hear at groups so many girls bad mouthing their mil and surrounded with great mother daughter relationships.i love my sons 100% but know when they have a wife i have to let go.if they divorce will i see my grandchildren if the wife takes them?
my husband takes older boys to watch football i stay at home while friends go out with their daughters shopping /girlie afternoons.i feel alone .i do love my boys so much and would never be without them or tell them i wanted a daughter.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 07/04/2013 00:01

I did the sex at the day of ovulation when I was trying to concieve PFB The theory is if you you let the fast male sperm get there when the ovum just starts it's journey then you'll have a boy.

No idea about the food, acid/alkali.
Statistically I'm more likely to have a DD.

DC1 was a boy, DC2 was a girl.

So I can't say it's all cobblers...

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 07/04/2013 00:07

Sorry, but I'm going to get a bit loud now:

BE BLOODY GRATEFUL THAT YOU HAVE 3 CHILDREN.

There are plenty of us who would happily chop off a limb/sell a kidney to be able to have one, sod the bloody sex Angry

I dearly hope that your son never discovers what a disappointment he was for you Hmm

MsVestibule · 07/04/2013 00:17

As an aside, although of course it's the man's X or Y chromosome that determines the sex of the baby, I read a report recently that said it's possible that some women's eggs are more receptive to a particular type, e.g. the eggs of a woman who has five girls may be less receptive to the man's Y chromosome.

Happy for a geneticist to tell me I'm talking bollocks Grin.

reneaa2 · 07/04/2013 00:37

I think it is natural to feel that was op, but it seems you were destined to have 3 sons.

I have one son and I do hope that he will choose to be happily single as an adult so I don't have to deal with the mil issues but I will still support him if he does choose to be in a relationship I just think it might be better for our relationship if he remained single.

TWinklyLittleStar · 07/04/2013 00:42

Are you seriously saying you want a daughter for.someone to go shopping with and because you won't get on with a daughter in law who will steal your son away? You do realise any daughter you did have could easily not get on with you, or not have children, or move abroad, or one of a million other things that wouldn't live up to this little daydream of yours?

Seriously stop to appreciate how fucking lucky you are. And if you don't let on to the sons you're so lucky to have that you wish they had fannys instead, they might just maintain a relationship with you in later life, despite what their evil wives might do.

TWinklyLittleStar · 07/04/2013 00:43

Oh fwiw I get on great with my MIL and I see her more than my own mum because of where we live.

LooseyMy · 07/04/2013 00:45

I'm an lp to my son and we are extremely close, I have no desire for a daughter. What a load of rubbish that you need to be able to do "girly" things like shopping to be close to your kids. Take an interest in what they do,music, sports, cinema, reading, computers are non gender specific.

RatPants · 07/04/2013 00:50

Early cycle, salty foods and doggie style begets boys in my experience. Grin

Seriously, you can't influence these things. Be happy you have another healthy child.

Bartlebee · 07/04/2013 00:58

Good Lord.

McNewPants2013 · 07/04/2013 01:06

I have a son and a daughter, my son loves out little shopping trips but dd hates shopping.

I suggest you really think about your reasons for having another child before ttc because the emotional damage you can do to a child for being born a boy instead of a girl can be very damaging.

Bobyan · 07/04/2013 01:23

I hope you have the daughter-in-laws from hell, because frankly you deserve them.

MidniteScribbler · 07/04/2013 01:24

You dreamed about having a girl?

I dreamed of being a princess, a rock star and an astronaut.

The difference between us is that I grew up.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 07/04/2013 01:28

reneea2 you would really want your son to stay single so you dont have to be a mil and because you think it would be better for your relationship with him?? Ffs!!

ElaineVintage · 07/04/2013 01:35

Bobyan Was that really needed?

Will you all please stop bullying this woman!

Bobyan · 07/04/2013 01:45

Yes Elaine it was.

There are thousands if people who have trouble conceiving, they really don't need some vacuous crap about girls being "soooooo" cute and how the OP's main reason for wanting a daughter is because she is worried about who her sons might marry.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 07/04/2013 02:13

Op I have a son and 3 daughters, I did worry, moreso when the girls came along, about keeping my bond with my son so instead of doing the 'easy' thing and letting dh take him out and do things I started taking an interest in his hobbies, I take him to his running club, I teach him how to draw, and the hours I have spent watching and learning about WWE is ridiculous, but now thats our bonding time. I'm not worried about my future DIL 'taking him away from me' because I know the time and effort I put in to raising him to be a decent, kind, polite and confident young man who makes good choices will pay off.

Maybe you should spend more time bonding with your sons and learning about their interests instead of trying for another child to try and fit in with yours.

I won't flame you because I really don't understand the whole gender disappointment thing, but even if you do have a girl next time you will still have 4 children who love and need you, it sounds to me like you will be concentrating more on the girl and the boys will be sidelined.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 07/04/2013 02:17

Oh and I have 2 brothers who adore my mother and lived with her well into their 30s, I left home at 16 and haven't spoken to her in years so your cosy little scenario about having a great relationship based on gender may not happen at all.

MarianaTrench · 07/04/2013 03:32

Dear God. Yes, get yourself to the TTC boards and realise just how ungrateful you sound.

EugenesAxe · 07/04/2013 05:19

I don't think you deserve the flaming you are getting either; many women feel like this 'in an ideal world' sort of way.

To answer, yes I did attempt to sway vaguely for number two; we did get a girl and I used the sex a few days before ovulation method. I understand that's really the only one (natural conception) with some scientific logic behind in terms of boosting your chances for a girl.

I know you'll love all your boys hugely; FWIW I know at least two women who are closer to their MILs than their DMs.

GreyWhites · 07/04/2013 05:49

If you feel you are lonely and bored without a girl to go shopping with, maybe you need to find yourself a new hobby or interests? You sound like someone who feels they ought to always get what they want in life, which overall is a worrying attitude when you're a parent.

And yes I've got one boy and have been trying for a year and a half for another baby. I would love the luxury of being able to muck about having sex 5 days before ovulation to get pregnant.

Try to understand why your post is making a lot of people very angry. Be glad of whichever family you get. And get yourself a new hobby, or who knows, why not take more of an interest in what your boys do.

Fillyjonk75 · 07/04/2013 06:02

How do you conceive "five days before ovulation"?

GreyWhites · 07/04/2013 06:07

Fillyjonk, the idea is that female sperm last longer than male sperm so by having sex a few days in advance of ovulation, those that do survive in your body will be more likely to be female sperm. You're not conceiving before ovulation, just having sex. The sperm survive in the body for up to 5 days.

fairylightsinthespring · 07/04/2013 06:53

Yes the OP is being silly but she is being honest and voicing worries about the future. Of course any daughter may turn out not to be the shopping partner / close friend, but most do. I know my mum values the "quality time" she gets with me and DSis and that my DH shares little with his. His parents didn't see my kids until they came out of hospital as I didn't want them there post CS, mine did visit. I really don't see the relevance of the "count yourself lucky" posts. On this and every other subject there is always someone in a worse position - can we never post anything other than major trauma? I'll not whinge about DS waking me up at 5.45 this morning then, as no doubt someone else was woken earlier so I have no right to feel miffed Wink

AllOverIt · 07/04/2013 06:57

Be thankful for what you have.

'Any tips for next time?' Biscuit