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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

swayed for a girl =diet,timing,ph levels,and got another boy.

220 replies

racheael76 · 06/04/2013 19:32

hi i really wanted a daughter this time as we already have 2 sons.i did the dairy diet,milk no salt limited chicken drank evian water ,took calcuim and magnesuim tablets,douche with massengill vinegar(cost a fortune form overseas!) plotted ovulation conceived 5 days before ovulation.i did every thing i know for a liitle girl.so many people have a daughter and a son.did anyone sway and got the sex they wanted?did anyone sway and got wrong gender?what did i do wrong?

OP posts:
beals692 · 06/04/2013 20:59

"a little bored when husband takes boys to watch football and my friends are shopping with daughters .my be next time i can go to ballet!"

...and of course all women love ballet and shopping so you just have to make sure your child comes out the right sex and you know she'll share your interests and be your ideal little girly friend?

My mother had similar expectations and when I wasn't interested in clothes shopping etc declared me a 'disappointment' and 'not what she'd intended'...

The only thing getting a baby of the desired sex guarantees is what you'll see when you change their nappy.

rocketeer · 06/04/2013 20:59

Stereotyping much OP? You seem to have a warped view about what girls and boys do. Why don't you just count yourself lucky that you are having a HEALTHY baby ffs.

BenjaminButton172 · 06/04/2013 21:06

Hey i am a name+number.

Neither of my brothers like rugby or football. I am the only girl in my family who likes going clothes shopping.

OP what would u do if you had a dd and they hated all things 'girly'?

Bakingtins · 06/04/2013 21:08

Have a Biscuit. I have 2 boys and 3 miscarriages later I'd be delighted with a third baby of either sex.
You must have known all that "girl diet" stuff was bollocks.

NeedlesCuties · 06/04/2013 21:09

My DD is the first female in my DH's side of the family for +60 years. I was surprised when she came long, had just assumed I'd have another boy.

But... I wasn't in the least bit worried about what sex my baby would be, I just wanted a baby, good health and a happy family.

Did I piss about with my diet, douche, take pills etc? No. I was sensible and just let God/Mother Nature work it out.

You could have 10 more babies and still never "get it right".

Phantomteadrinker · 06/04/2013 21:10

Never mind, just keep trying, law of averages you'll get a girl at some point

CoteDAzur · 06/04/2013 21:11

What do averages have to do with it? Confused

Phantomteadrinker · 06/04/2013 21:12

Should have added a Hmm to express my 'urggggh' at this ridiculous post

MDA · 06/04/2013 21:13

Its so un PC these days to god forbid, admit that you want a certain sex of child.

With my first I didn't have terribly strong feelings, I had a boy, I was happy. That means when my 2nd came along I wanted a girl. I didn't do any tricks to try and get one. I didn't mention it as such. But I did want one of each at some point (like my own family had, its sometimes what is normal to you what feels complete) and I got exactly what my mum got - a boy then a girl, about 2 years apart.

I would not have been bothered or shed buckets or necessarily even had a 3rd if I hadn't had my "girl". But I can totally, utterly understand the preference, and was mega happy when I heard I was expecting a girl.

Nothing wrong with it, and nothing wrong with admitting it.

You wont get any joy on here though - ask Posh Spice Grin

VisualiseAHorse · 06/04/2013 21:15

Isn't it the sperm that decides the sex?

EuroShaggleton · 06/04/2013 21:15

My recommendation to you, OP?

Spend a few minutes looking around the Conception, Infertility and Miscarriage boards. Count yourself very lucky indeed. Enjoy life with you healthy boys.

soverylucky · 06/04/2013 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VisualiseAHorse · 06/04/2013 21:19

any tips for next time?

Urm....get your husband to jizz in a bucket, sieve out all the boy sperms and throw them away. Keep the girl ones and use them.

HorryIsUpduffed · 06/04/2013 21:20

Having a gender preference is a real thing unrelated to fertility problems or otherwise.

OP, anyone who told you that these methods would increase your chances of having a girl by more than about 2% was having you on. Anyone who failed to tell you that trying these methods would make it less likely that you would conceive at all (eg by avoiding sex on fertile days, or messing with the delicate pH balance of your vagina) was having you on. As simple as that.

You should categorically not try for a fourth if you are only trying for a girl. After three boys for some reason your odds are worse than 50/50. Fuck knows why. Statistics describe trends, not explain them. I know a family who were blessed with twin sons when they tried for a girl to complement their three sons. It happens often.

For what it's worth I'd quite fancy a girl after my two boys. I got the "right" ie preferred sex both times by shagging on ovulation day. So I had this idea that by avoiding ovulation day I'd better my chances of conceiving a girl.

What happened? Twelve long months without a BFP (before that I had spent a total of five months conceiving three times so a year felt like forever). And then a BFP that turned into mc.

So I chilled out and realised I wanted a third child more than I wanted a girl. Although I'd still like a girl in my family, a boy wouldn't feel "wrong" either. So we had sex all over my possible fertile days and here I am, upduffed first cycle. Watch this space, as they say.

LayMizzRarb · 06/04/2013 21:22

It's a baby not a bloody handbag.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 06/04/2013 21:22

Just be thankful you have been able to conceive easily and had healthy pregnancies and babies.

And please only have another if you would be truly happy with a fourth son.

We wanted four, our first four were boys and they are fabulous, no five was a bit of a bonus baby and was a girl which was a shock as I/we assumed we just 'did boys'. She is a delight as are her brothers but we didn't do anything different (and I have had complete strangers and friends ask me if we did!)

The only difference time is there is much more choice for girls clothes but my dd still also wears her brothers hand me downs and her current favorite toy is dinosaurs.

I think a lot of the gender differences in children are sociallly constructed tbh.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 06/04/2013 21:24

BTW I donated eggs last year and the fertility specialist I saw was very surprised we had a girl after four boys, he said statistically we were much more likely to have had another boy.

I have two miscarriages as well and always wondered if I maybe miscarried girls?

notnagging · 06/04/2013 21:25

I have 5 boys and constantly get asked If I was trying for a girl. My boys are great but I do wonder what having a girl would've been like. Op, you have got some slack but at least your talking about it & you don't sound resentful to me. My dh would love to have a girl but hey, not going to happen unless we adopt. Enjoy having boys op & don't think you/they can't do things. My boys are great shoppers! Smile

notnagging · 06/04/2013 21:28

5 eggs, I think the constant questioning from strangers is annoying & does make you wonder 'what if'. I have been told so many tips over the years that have obviously made no difference! : )

PipsWife · 06/04/2013 21:31

I have a beautiful DD. I have also had 2 MCs and an ectopic.

I agree with a previous post go to the TTC thread and read a few threads and thank your lucky stars you have had 3 healthy babies.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 06/04/2013 21:34

The questioning is annoying and the assumption that we 'kept going to get a girl' when we did nothing of the sort!

Dd is now 27mths and I still get comments about how fabulous it is I 'finally' got a girl etc often said infron of my boys as well!! Other people make it into a big issue whereas we didn't care! Just grateful I was lucky and got pregnant easily, had easy labours etc. Hence why I donated eggsto pass on the 'luck'.

FriggFRIGG · 06/04/2013 21:52

Seriously?

No...it can't be....

None of that stuff you did has any basis in truth you know,the only way to 'sway the odds' is to go abroad for gender selective ivf.
Even then it's not certain.

And you are being ridiculous anyway,
what if you had a girl and she only wanted to wear jeans and play football?hated dresses and shopping and fairy princess pink crap?
How would you feel then?

CockyFox · 06/04/2013 22:08

For the record, my beautiful little girl I always dressed in dresses and frilly knickers enjoys kickboxing training and does't go anywhere without her favourite toy - an action figure of The Hulk.
Not having a willy hasn't stopped her being the most male of my children.

olivertheoctopus · 06/04/2013 22:12

Dear god. I'm pregnant with DS3 and couldn't be happier. Get a grip.

williaminajetfighter · 06/04/2013 23:42

God people on this thread are downright mean. It's common and probably natural to want to have children of both sex and some women do really want daughters. I did - after growing up with 4 brothers I did secretly want a girl.

Sadly there are lots of websites with bad information about 'gender selection' and obviously the OP was misinformed but people should calm down!!!

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