To expect dialogue on here to be civil and diplomatic most of the time?

[cupcakemumma]

Feeling so sick and tired of many threads on this amazing site being poisoned by unkind responses. There is one thing being direct and all, but seriously, I cannot imagine that the tone used by some MN posters would be used outside outside of this place in the wider world and welcomed. Some people seem to enjoy getting a kick out of speaking to others in an over the top spikey way on here, generating responses picking people's words to pieces like amateur lawyers.

What do you all think, or is it just me? Can't we all just get along and support one another and enjoy each other's company in diplomatic way? What is the point of being on here if time isn't spent being pleasant?

[buconfused]

My doddery old uncle pops offf to the odd lunchtime classical concert. If I had to haul him out of a moshpit with his cardi covered in gob and cider, I'd feel sorry that he'd had an unexpected hard time.

But I'd also wonder wtf he was thinking going there in the first place.

Lots of gentle thoughtful support all over this site. Many categories seem woefully underused.

But AIBU is neither obligatory nor pretending to be anything other than robust exchanges. Join in if you feel up to it, body swerve if not?

X-post and double cock-up post. Sigh.

If I was feeling vulnerable and needed support I would not post in AIBU.

Why would you? People need to get a feel for the site and have a look around before they start posting.

Diving straight into AIBU because you think you will get more replies is not the right way to use MN IMO.

This thread should have been posted in site stuff

*Laqueen you think that there are 'viable for derailing'?

Why would you want to derail them? Can't you just let them lie if you don't like them?

And who said it was your job to derail them let alone decide which ones should be derailed? Report them if you think they are suspect.

My thoughts exactly usualsuspect. You can see where it's heading.

Sometimes a bit of derailment eases the tension on threads that are getting a bit heated.

i do think some (me included!) posters spend way too much time on here and to amuse themselves they get stuck into threads just to 'show off' or entertain themselves or their mn mates.

it's not a supportive site anymore - it's just got very very big! but i do with some posters would hold back a little or start their own threads instead of jumping on others to be arsey for the sake of it.

After reading all the pages and pages of PO info I have had my eyes opened. Watching the PO hunts with interest. Am laughing at those defensive posters on this thread. Protesting too much ........

Really , spit it out then?

Come on, all these veiled comments get right on my tits.

I'm committing a MN sin here by not reading the thread, but I couldn't agree more. I'm so tired of reading belligerent responses and utterly inane threads. I really need to stay away from the tedium that is AIBU.

Anyway, aybu To expect dialogue on here to be civil and diplomatic most of the time? nope, not in the least.

And I believe, if you take the whole MN experience, this is generally a supportive welcoming place. but it's so much more than just AIBU. if it's too abrasive, you will always have the choice, with the greatest respect, to keep to gentler sections.

I nc and post all over the shop. But if I wanted guaranteed kid gloves, I wouldn't dream of posting on AIBU.

I'm getting bored of these type of threads now.
It just seems they become sneaky digs at people that certain posters don't like, but never name.
If you disagree with someone do it on the thread in question.
I manage to do it without, hopefully, offending people, I certainly try not to, even if they're talking the biggest load of crap ever.
I like the ones that meander on to other things, and I've never seen it happen to someone that is genuinely upset.
I come on here for fun mostly, and a lot of the posters I do gravitate to are names I recognise who make me smile.
I don't get why people resent that.

But the default position, regardless of where something is posted, should surely be to disagree respectfully if you want to disagree. Nobody comes on a forum expecting only to be agreed with, what often happens often is they are misunderstood and the more abrasive people won't accept that they have misunderstood them or think they are being up themselves and then it goes apeshit. AIBU or AINBU?

And ususally the reason the abrasive people won't accept they are wrong is because they have an audience and they then have to back themselves up or talk the other person down.

This thread has already been derailed to being about AIBU when it's about being civil and diplomatic. It's been derailed because a lot of posters still believe AIBU is fair game, not just to disagree with people, but to be rude to them.

Laqueen I don't think you understand the issue about derailing a thread. It is great to have random banter going back and forth (the prelude to thread derailing) but matter is important to someone it's downright rude to bring random banter into it. Both in RL and online.

You folks that say that serious threads don't get derailed mustn't have spent any time on the Relationships board, where vulnerable people do post.

It's a hell hole in there.

Have it your way,Polly you seem determined to paint us all as a bunch of bullies. I'm out

I never post on the relationship boards EggyFucker.
I have done in the past, but IME it's, sadly, the target for fantasists and trolls, and I honestly never believe half the threads on there

All I can say is that I love all these rude cheeky girls!My eyes bleed at the swearing and nasty" don't google"things, but learnt many useful things on here too.They give good advice and are very (whispers) kind.Just do not be silly in AIUBU!...you know when you are!
Should be on Gransnet,but it bores me to tears!

I think painting those who grudgingly accept that aibu is the nastier side of mn as people who think it is 'fair game' is something of a misrepresentation.

I accept that aibu is unfortunately home to some people who pile in and want a fight. I don't like it but there is little I can do about it. And the dislike many of us feel about some of those who hang out there is slightly worsened by the knowledge that it is one of the more popular board and that people do extraordinary linguistic loops to get their thread within the 'aibu...' format.