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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell dh I'd rather he didn't go out tonight

326 replies

orderinformation · 30/03/2013 21:49

Got home at 9.00pm as been visiting family. Both kids fell asleep in car and we carried them up to bed. I said I'm also going to bed as bad night last night with both kids waking and also clocks change tonight so we lose an hour.

Anyway ten mins ago he says in that case would I mind if he goes out.

I said I do mind because:

  • I will not sleep properly until he's safely home which if he's going now means after midnight at least thus negating the early night
  • I do night wakings as he is very heavy sleeper and never wakes so I would end up waking him up to do it and we'd both be knackered so instead he takes dc downstairs at 7am and I catch up for hour or two. Partic need this at moment as dc2 is three months. But if dh not home until late either he does this still but spends tomorrow knackered. Which you might say is not my problem but it is if it ruins our family Easter day or he needs afternoon sleep. Or I don't get my lie in catch up which is fine if tonight is ok but not if it's another bad one.

So I said in all honesty because I am so tired I'd prefer him not to and he said ok but is now downstairs sulking and I am upstairs feeling bad though am bf and then going to sleep and at least won't be lying here awake until he's safely home.

Aibu?

OP posts:
nars · 30/03/2013 22:40

because he wouldn't want to spend sat night with me! though maybe i have a weird relationship where we like to be together and not go out on the piss alone Wink

MomaP · 30/03/2013 22:41

Pinko. Shes simply wondering if she's being unreasonable. There is absolutely no need to ask such personal, insensitive Q. Pipe down.

nars · 30/03/2013 22:41

blimey i must live in some weird alternate universe

pictish · 30/03/2013 22:42

I went out last night sans dh. Do I unwittingly dislike him, pray tell? I'm worried now!

BoringTheBuilder · 30/03/2013 22:42

i know what you mean nars. Even if one is sleeping and the other is alone watching TV, still feels like together.

pictish · 30/03/2013 22:43

Ahhh I see! You jest with us! Very good very good. Wink

Whoknowswhocares · 30/03/2013 22:44

But surely as the OP has already stated she is going to bed, he won't be spending sat night with her anyway.
He will be sitting on his own in the lounge

nars · 30/03/2013 22:45

what?? Confused

LaQueen · 30/03/2013 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoringTheBuilder · 30/03/2013 22:46

And what is wrong with sitting on his own in the lounge? does he loathe his own company so much that he must have a pub mate and a pint JUST because it is Saturday night?

pictish · 30/03/2013 22:47

i know what you mean nars. Even if one is sleeping and the other is alone watching TV, still feels like together.

This is having a laugh, surely?

BoringTheBuilder · 30/03/2013 22:47

I don't feel sorry for the DH and I envisage him quite content and enjoying himself

nars · 30/03/2013 22:47

lol oh how sad for him to be sitting in the lounge alone. maybe he could spend some time with the op and see things from her side!

wow mn really is very strange these days

BoringTheBuilder · 30/03/2013 22:47

No, not having a laugh.

pictish · 30/03/2013 22:48

Um....

LaQueen · 30/03/2013 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoringTheBuilder · 30/03/2013 22:49

How sad for the Dh...he must be entertained, otherwise whinges: it is boring....

RatPants · 30/03/2013 22:49

Do you honestly not have social lives outside of your relationship? My female friends are a big part of my life, have been since school and it wouldn't occur to me to invite my dh out on one of our nights out unless it was a taking partners kind of do. Similarly I don't tag along to the rugby or whatever, I have no interest so am happy to stay at home with the children on those nights. It's just what we have always done.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2013 22:49

And what is wrong with sitting on his own in the lounge? does he loathe his own company so much that he must have a pub mate and a pint JUST because it is Saturday night?

Oh now come on

Don't you think that's just a little OTT?

Are you saying people who want to pop out for a drink on a Saturday night rather than stay in alone (which is effectively what he is doing) loathe their own company?

Really?

LaQueen · 30/03/2013 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ladymariner · 30/03/2013 22:50

Wondering if it's really husbands that are being discussed here or children?

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2013 22:50

lol oh how sad for him to be sitting in the lounge alone. maybe he could spend some time with the op and see things from her side!

Like the inside of her eyelids?

BoringTheBuilder · 30/03/2013 22:50

OP didn't mention friends, and he decided to go last minute
It does sounds he is bored the poor lamb

LaQueen · 30/03/2013 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MomaP · 30/03/2013 22:51

How can he spend time with her if shes going to bed? Poor bugger has to sit downstairs on his lonesome like a grounded teenager. Wine

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