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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell dh I'd rather he didn't go out tonight

326 replies

orderinformation · 30/03/2013 21:49

Got home at 9.00pm as been visiting family. Both kids fell asleep in car and we carried them up to bed. I said I'm also going to bed as bad night last night with both kids waking and also clocks change tonight so we lose an hour.

Anyway ten mins ago he says in that case would I mind if he goes out.

I said I do mind because:

  • I will not sleep properly until he's safely home which if he's going now means after midnight at least thus negating the early night
  • I do night wakings as he is very heavy sleeper and never wakes so I would end up waking him up to do it and we'd both be knackered so instead he takes dc downstairs at 7am and I catch up for hour or two. Partic need this at moment as dc2 is three months. But if dh not home until late either he does this still but spends tomorrow knackered. Which you might say is not my problem but it is if it ruins our family Easter day or he needs afternoon sleep. Or I don't get my lie in catch up which is fine if tonight is ok but not if it's another bad one.

So I said in all honesty because I am so tired I'd prefer him not to and he said ok but is now downstairs sulking and I am upstairs feeling bad though am bf and then going to sleep and at least won't be lying here awake until he's safely home.

Aibu?

OP posts:
nars · 30/03/2013 23:05

op i would hide this thread now if you haven't already it's obviously been hijacked by the freaks

YellowDinosaur · 30/03/2013 23:06

Actually I don't find the Op's worries pathetic. Atty least she has the excuse of sleep deprivation.

It is some of the others on this thread spouting the bullshit about sitting in the lounge being a perfect substitute for a night out with mates and that anyone who dares to have a life apart from their husband that i'm taking issue with...

LaQueen · 30/03/2013 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MomaP · 30/03/2013 23:06

I'm sure that if that's the case Travel OP will begin to stir soon enough with his absence. Hmm

LetMeAtTheWine · 30/03/2013 23:07

In all honesty Agent, I am the kind of twat that would go just because someone told me I couldn't, even if I wasn't particularly bothered about going. Think DH hoped I would grow out of it but it isn't looking likely.

ladymariner · 30/03/2013 23:08

Have you attached its bowing mechanism, LaQueen, it seems to be an essential part.....or maybe that's just too freaky......

thornrose · 30/03/2013 23:08

Hijacked by the freaks Grin Grin Grin

pictish · 30/03/2013 23:09

No, I was right the first time. I fear we are being joshed with. Wink

LaQueen · 30/03/2013 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StuntGirl · 30/03/2013 23:10

Oh no LaQ, he sat alone in the living room with a can of beer, he tells me it was better than a night down the pub Grin

I'm doing it again another three times next month. In fact I'm fucking off to London for an entire weekend without him. [heartless cow emoticon]

BoringTheBuilder · 30/03/2013 23:10

It is not funny anymore how people like to make silly jokes and laugh at people's problems, dilemmas, weaknesses.
Some here a clearly as bored as the Op's husband
What are you doing on MN? Why don't you say god bye to your partners and kids and go down to the pub to socialise? I am sure you can have better laugh over there.

Oh wait
You can be 'funnier' in anonymity...I understand.

BadabingBadabong · 30/03/2013 23:10

nars I think you'll find it's you who has the weird relationship here!

TartyMcTart · 30/03/2013 23:11

Bloody hell, did some of you nars nit actually venture out of the house when your baby was 3 months old?

I know myself and OH both had nights out, maybe not always together but who wants to ge joined at the hip all day long? Confused

marriedinwhiteagain · 30/03/2013 23:11

My DH went up at about 9.15. I'm in the sitting room with the dc and have had two lovely glasses of chilled white and now have the football on. Was I unreasonable not to have gone to the pub on Easter weekend night when most folk we know are away, doing family stuff, etc because DH was sleeping [buhmm].

Don't think the OP's being unreasonable.

nars · 30/03/2013 23:12

some posters on here are so up their own arse they can see next spring

pictish · 30/03/2013 23:12

No one is.
The OP's grand - she asked, we opinionated. It's all cool there. What she does with that is up to her.

Now we are laughing along with you!

LaQueen · 30/03/2013 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thornrose · 30/03/2013 23:14

Married the big difference is YOU don't want to go to the pub, OP's partner does.

nars · 30/03/2013 23:15

i wish mn would get rid of AIBU was so reasonable before

people disagreed and had references to back up their discourse

now people just post what they fuck they like and their illiterate cronies agree with them

just like any other website

rip mumsnet

TheSecondComing · 30/03/2013 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ladymariner · 30/03/2013 23:15

The point is, married that sounds great because you chose to do it.

Op's dh hasn't been allowed a choice.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2013 23:16

"You can be 'funnier' in anonymity...I understand."

Why don't you give it a try too Boring?

G'wan, it won't hurt to crack a smile...

BoringTheBuilder · 30/03/2013 23:16

yes married you are being U. How can you possibly drink alone, watch telly alone and enjoy yourself alone while your h is sleeping? it is saturday night and you must be at the pub. looser....

Plus3 · 30/03/2013 23:16

Not RIP mumsnet at all. AIBU is full of crap. As long as you realise that, it's all good.

StuntGirl · 30/03/2013 23:16

To be fair I'm joking about but I can kiiiinda see where the OP is coming from a tiny bit. I suspect it's not really about going out tonight, but about something else yes? Because someone wanting to go out on a bank holiday weekend isn't really worth getting wound up about.

I think she's less bothered by going out drinking tonight, and more the state he'll be tomorrow? Or the last-minute nature of it, having had it in her head (understandably) she'd get her usual lie in tomorrow but knowing she now won't?