to be angry with my neighbour about a spoon?

[Hullygully]

It may sound petty, but two months ago my neighbour had a coffee morning (I wasn't invited, fine, we aren't best buds or anything), and she asked me if she could borrow some teaspoons. I lent her four, and she gave three back a few days later. They were wrapped up inside a napkin so I didn't notice until she'd gone that one was missing. Time just went by without seeing each other so there wasn't a casual opportunity to mention it.

I know it's only a teaspoon, but I feel really angry that she has basically stolen it. I don't feel I can mention it now because it's been too long and it is only a spoon, but I feel angry everytime I make a cup of tea and am reminded. I can't help thinking she must know. They are quite distinctive sppons, she must know when she sees it that it isn't hers.

Hello, Hully's Neighbour. I hear you eat tortoises for breakfast. And pandas for lunch.

Anyway, we all know what you're up to with Roger. You cow.

The warm weather is coming (allegedly) so whenever she's in her garden you could try shouting "spoon'' really loudly over the fence.

Then, then, wait for it, then, she will find it weird and come on here to post about you and we can tell her that she's a spoon thieving spoon thief and make her give it back.

What goes on between Roger and I is not your business.

You'd love a bit of Roger wouldn't you?

Well you won't get him. You won't even get to sniff him.

I have a fork and I don't know where it came from. DS likes it as it's smaller and lighter than the rest of the forks. I often think about the fork. Sometie I feel that it's an orphaned fork and I'm doing it a huge service in giving it a home but in my darker moments I think that I am an evil, twisted fork stealer

I might put an ad in the local paper and if no-one claims the fork I'll let me son keep it.

Perhaps a cutlery amnesty?

GetOeuf - Sweet braaahhhn sherry tastes like mildly alcoholic Benylin and leaves a sticky trail.

The pale fino stuff is much more so-fist-ick-atid and is more like ummm, don't know.

Shit, I don't even drink - whaddo I know? I just press it on unwilling guests.

It tastes like dessert wine gone manky

But a good glug in a recently heated tin of soup makes it taste love,y and gets you a little bit pissed at lunchtime

Pop around (have a stiff drink first) and say "I have just unwrapped the tea spoons that I lent to you as as I have guests coming over later and I have noticed that they are one short, could I have it back now please as I need all four", sorry I didn't notice earlier I just left them wrapped in the napkin as I didn't need them until now". Then decline any invite of a drink etc as you your fictitious guests to prepare for. Sorted!

I like desert wine.

I want a sherry now?!

DESSERT. Don't kill me.

Actually isn't it frightfully non-U to call it dessert wine?

What would Nancy Mitford call it?

Pudding wine. It looks like a pee sample.

Get biblical on her! An eye for an eye, a spoon for a spoon.

I have two teaspoons with a bamboo pattern handle,
an Apostle spoon
a souvenir of York spoon with a rose crest
two facsimiles of medieval spoons in pewter with very short handles and big bowls
a tacky one with gold flowers
a marmalade spoon shaped like a shell
a DanAir teaspoon
one with a Toledo damasked handle
one with a handle shaped like a cat
two with basketwork handles
one made of horn
and one with an interesting hole drilled in the handle and one in the bowl which looks seriously experimented on.

Thank you Hully, I can safely say that I now know the contents of my spoon drawer today.
Tomorrow is another day. I don't really care, most of them can be used for sugar or yoghurt and DS does polish his collection to sparkly beauty.

Please let us know how this pans out

I could have my own spoon thread and post on it once a week. That'll larn that Hully person with her face.

Been away and come back to this thread and ... OhMyGod she burnt your table?

In what universe is that a logical move to make? Thanks for the seasonal lend of the table. Shall I give it back? She might have people over for NY so she might want it asap.

Nope, I shall burn it. I wont check. I'll just condemn it to a fiery grave.

I reckon she sold it. Or did something so heinous on it/to it that she could not face you having it back.

Perhaps she is an admirer of your lovely naked portrait thingy, she will 'find' the missing spoon in the next few days and use it as an excuse to come into your home and gaze in wonder at your artwork.
Wasn't Roger also in the artwork?

Perhaps HullyNeighbour is carrying out some sort of cutlery-based genetic experiment. The spoon is the missing link required to complete the DNA sequence.

OR

HullyNeighbour is a devil-worshipper. In order to invoke a hex/curse upon Hully, she requires a personal possession for the rite. Anyone who has read Rosemary's Baby may recall that Rosemary's husband, Guy, traded ties with fellow actor Donald Baumgart. Donald ended up blind and Guy won a coveted acting role. Do take care, dearest Hulls - you may be going about your business one day, when all of a sudden your leg falls off.

Go round there and ask for it back! I need to know what happens next!

Hazel - that's what dh thinks. As he put it, she'll ebay anything that isn't nailed to the floor and he thinks she flogged it. However, I've seen the way she'd rather throw things on her bonfire than dispose of them properly so I'm willing to bet it was death by fire.

It will be in the coffee jar and therefore has not been noticed. Hopefully.