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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry with my neighbour about a spoon?

277 replies

Hullygully · 26/03/2013 15:25

It may sound petty, but two months ago my neighbour had a coffee morning (I wasn't invited, fine, we aren't best buds or anything), and she asked me if she could borrow some teaspoons. I lent her four, and she gave three back a few days later. They were wrapped up inside a napkin so I didn't notice until she'd gone that one was missing. Time just went by without seeing each other so there wasn't a casual opportunity to mention it.

I know it's only a teaspoon, but I feel really angry that she has basically stolen it. I don't feel I can mention it now because it's been too long and it is only a spoon, but I feel angry everytime I make a cup of tea and am reminded. I can't help thinking she must know. They are quite distinctive sppons, she must know when she sees it that it isn't hers.

OP posts:
littlemissbunny · 28/03/2013 17:03

Please tell me you have reported this to the NSPCS?

What if that poor spoon has been kidnapped and being tortured?

I think MNHQ need to do a spoon smiley so we can start a campaign to free Hullys spoon

Original poster
Hullygully · 04/12/2013 11:54

yes

OP posts:
chipshop · 04/12/2013 13:32

You need to ask her! DP loaned our neighbour my favourite mug, £15 from a shop when we were on hols, I had only used it once. We have approx 60 mugs ffs! He didn't bring it back of course so a week later I told DP to go and get it. He said he was too embarrassed, I said I didn't care what neighbour thought and made him. It's still my favourite mug. Grin

magimedi · 04/12/2013 13:34

Hully - Why are you raising this thread from the dead?

Are your bored or anxious to stir? Grin

magimedi · 04/12/2013 13:36

Or (holds breath) are you going to show us a picture of your spoon?

Waspie · 04/12/2013 13:41

Is the spoon back?

Is Roger still in a sarong? (it's cold and I'm concerned about his inadequacies getting numb)

Original poster
Hullygully · 04/12/2013 13:44

I typed yes by mistake in answer to the This thread is a zombie etc!

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 04/12/2013 13:45

I think the "yes" means light fingered lily has handed the missing spoon. It was probably Yuri Gellered onto a shit lad of pegs.

FairPhyllis · 04/12/2013 13:45

I think you should CUT HER HEART OUT with one of the three returned spoons.

magimedi · 04/12/2013 13:45

But did you get the spoon back?

oldgrandmama · 04/12/2013 13:48

I've lost no end of spoons ... (and knives, forks) while scraping plates into the kitchen bin. Possibly that's the fate of your missing spoon? Your neighbour maybe didn't even notice that one was missing, let along deliberately steal it. Why not ask her, saying you've only just spotted that one is missing, as they were special spoons, left to you by your grandmama and you only use them on important occasions, such as lending them to spoonless neighbours etc. etc.

Original poster
Hullygully · 04/12/2013 13:50

I must admit I have taken Roger in strong dislike, I cannot help myself.

That line still makes me howl

OP posts:
2Tinsellytocare · 04/12/2013 13:52

Maybe you'll get some new teaspoons in your stocking Hully

bumblingbovine · 04/12/2013 13:53

I don't think I would get into an argument with someone over this but if she denys having 4, then I would definitely decide she was not worth bothering with in the future and write it off it experience

However, I think it is possible she lost/broke one and is scared to tell you, or she is scatty and have misplaced and again is scared to tell you or possibly she does not even realise you gave her more than three. In the first two scenarios she has behaved a bit badly but I would want to give her the chance to redeem herself by owning up to it, begging forgiveness, offering to pay etc. If it is the third scenario, then she might even find it and return it.

In all of these instances you may still choose never to lend to her again but it may make you less angry if you know she just lost broke it and has let her fear of owning up to it get the better of her
.

The only other possibility is that she deliberately stole one, and why would anyone deliberately steal one teaspoon?

bumblingbovine · 04/12/2013 13:56
youretoastmildred · 04/12/2013 13:57

She knew one was missing, that was why they were wrapped in a napkin.
Christmas is coming, season of goodwill. Write in her Christmas card "I forgive you the teaspoon"

BigToesofFrog · 04/12/2013 13:59

"They aren't sentimental as such, because my grandmother was really vile and prosecuted for animal cruelty"

Just spat my coffee!
:o

If it's any comfort OP I would be exactly the same. Fuming and unable to say anything.

2Tinsellytocare · 04/12/2013 14:00

Don't you worry that you'll be engaging in normal conversation with her one day and blurt out 'just give me back my fucking teaspoon'

Original poster
Hullygully · 04/12/2013 14:02

I will never speak to her again. Nor will she get one of my special singing Christmas cards.

OP posts:
BigToesofFrog · 04/12/2013 14:02

You might feel better if you nefariously obtain a teaspoon from somewhere else. Pay it forward as it were. I have an Icelandair teaspoon. I didn't mean to steal it - but nor did I post it back. We also have a large IKEA spoon from when there was a fire evacuation while DS was half way through his pudding, and we weren't allowed back in.

Or see it this way - your neighbour has given you the gift of an opportunity to go spoon shopping. I love spoons so I know where is best – John Lewis.

DeWe · 04/12/2013 14:13

I think actually a special singing Christmas card that can't be turned off would be a fantastic revenge. Grin

Maybe you could alter "We wish you a Merry christmas" to:
"Now bring me my friggin tea spoon
Now bring me my friggin tea spoon
Now bring me my friggin tea spoon
Or I'll knock down your door..."

Rooners · 04/12/2013 14:17

Maybe she lost it? Or one of her guests filched it?

I can't believe folk reported this. That's fooking strange.

It's brilliant.

PedantMarina · 04/12/2013 14:42

I keep coming back to the fact that she borrowed spoons for a coffee morning to which you were not invited?!? And I ponder whether she sent you a Save The Date card...

GoEasyPudding · 04/12/2013 16:30

"spoon shopping" BigToe, this comment has made me happy!

Unexpected · 04/12/2013 17:22

I suspect being saved from one of your special singing Christmas cards may be the main reason why she filched a teaspoon. She had to do something drastic to stop that out-of-tune missive landing on the doorstep!