I'm raging at the selfishness of it..

[Fisharefriendsnotfood]

We have 3 dc.. 5,3 and 5 months. Sleep is really really scare at the moment. Dc3 still feeds at least twice through the night and dc1 and 2 have both had endless colds/illnesses.. I am sahm, dh owes and runs own business.

I'm so angry right now. We went to bed early as wrecked from night before, dc1 woke with tonsillitis when we were going to bed, crying when swallowing etc. finally settled them at about 10.30 and went to sleep. Dc3 was up at 11.30, 2, 4.30 and 5. Dc2 woke once as fell out of bed. Dc1 woke once and got up when I was feeding dc3 at 5.

She was burning with fever, crying, miserable poor thing. Gave her calpol and water and put her into our bed. At 6 I woke dh to ask him to get up with her as I had hardly slept.. He outright refused . Said he felt rough and couldn't afford to be sick (referring to work) and didn't care if it made him a prick he was going back to sleep.

I'm downstairs with her now. I'm stunned. I feel like I never ever get put anywhere near his list, never mind the top of it. This is the latest in a long line of my needs not counting. Am raging! AIBU? What do I do now

Also...just visioning the mess that would make is enough to make me want to just do the bloody thing myself

my 3 year old knows he's not allowed out of bed until I tell him he can - I used to have an early morning call of 'can I get out of bed?' and I say yes or no - and he stays put if its no. It did take quite a few times of putting him back to bed and telling him he wasn't allowed up until mummy said it was ok and it eventually sunk in (and yes, there were tantrums with it, it was hard going and many times I felt like it would be the easy option to just let him go downstairs but I perservered).

I now use a light, and the DSs can only get up when the light is OFF, to stop them waking me up early just because they've woken up. And yes, they do go back to sleep.

But, be that as it may, your DH is being a prick, and is being completely unfair. At the very least you and he should split your weekends so you each get one night to yourselves with a sleep in in the morning.

My DH runs his own business, and yes, there are times when he really, really, really needs his sleep - but not every night for a whole fucking year!!!!!!!

stressy admit it you either have no dc or just one baby.
Suggesting a three year fixes himself some lunch proves that.

I am and at 3 yr olds making themselves a sandwich!!

Such baloney! Give up Stressy. There's only one straw left to clutch at, and it's broken the camel's back. We are not taking you even slightly seriously any more. You are officially silly.

It's not silly at all. My 2.5 yo made me a lovely roast dinner yesterday out of play dough

Have you trained the 3 year old to put the washing on whilst your napping stressy?

keep digging stressy keep digging

I have a 3 year old. He is hardly tall enough to reach the worktops, I am intrigured as to how he is supposed to make himself a sandwich by himself?

(he loves 'buttering' the bread himself when I am helping him but thats very different to setting him free in the kitchen)

Some 3 year olds are still in nappies so the idea they should all be able to take themselves off to the toilet is laughable to

There is a poster on this thread who ALWAYS a goady fucker. I believe her to be one of those things that are not allowed on Mumsnet. Do you think I should email hq? I have literally never seen her post anything pleasant or even neutral.

I dont know whats wrong with you lot.

My 3 year old was cooking the family meal at 2 and half.

He is 9 now, he has a full time job as well as school. He is independent

Tantrums, my child owns his own business, he started it before he was born, getting him to sign contracts was difficult, he kept jabbing my bladder with the pen.

Saycool yummy, sounds nicer than the "mud" cakes my DS likes to make me in the garden!

Fish - I suggest you use the posts by stressy to give yourself a giggle. And perhaps start another thread in parenting/behaviour and development to get peoples sensible ideas of ways for you to cope while you kick your husband up the arse.

Mintyy - report if you have suspicions.

Tantrums that's nothing. My toddler's been down the mines for the past year, works 26 hours a day, and still manages to cook dinner for DH and me. Little sod refused to give me a foot massage this morning though.... Lazy child!

I have skim read the latter part of this thread - my blood pressure can't take it!

I would have emptied a jug of cold water over the lazy fucker's head and told him to get his arse out of bed.

Having a job does not entitle a man to opt out of caring for his children. So far as I'm concerned, the OP's job is to look after the dc while her husband works, but if they are both at home he need to be doing his fair share. He pushed for a 3rd child - he needs to be helping to look after it. The OP didn't have 3 children all by herself!

OP, if you are living with a self confessed selfish prick, I honestly cannot see what you are getting form this arrangement. He might as well be living elsewhere and paying maintenance and then at least you wouldn't have to deal with his prickishness on a daily basis.

Binky

pffft I have 12 kids, my own company, and survive on 15 minutes a night. Man up.

wo-man up

"Man up" is a little ironic considering the OP.

Even my dog can get the weekly shop from Tesco's on his own.

He usually eats it all on the drive home so I don't really let him do it anymore.

only a butter knife, and not cut in half.Very sad that you think a 3 yo cannot make a jam, cheesesspread or chocolate spread sandwich.Do you not know this is a common activity at pre school, or at least it was at the one I worked at.

My 3 year old could totally make a sandwich unsupervised.

I'm sure she'd be delighted to be given the opportunity.

What would be in the sandwich and what would have to happen in order for it to get made does not bear thinking about. :o

I have a 5yo, 3yo and nearly 9 month old.

So my baby is older and easier to look after and not 100% reliant on me for food. None is sick, beyond a bit of a cough. All are mostly sleeping at the moment.

I'm well myself.

And I am shattered at the moment.

Having 3 is just really bloody hard work. There's so little rest.

I don't have any sympathy for "I work therefore all sleep is mine" chauvinism on MN, but I can see that the stress and exhaustion of doing such long hours starting out on his own, plus feeling sick, might have made your request seem impossible.

dreaming had some very good advice I thought, about getting him to see that you getting put out of action by illness being just as catastrophic as if he gets sick.

Oh give over stressy, you're sounding ridiculous now.

they pull achair across to the work tops and can also put drinks of juice.Again OFSTED inspectors recommend pre-schoolers pour their own drinks.

"Even my dog can get the weekly shop from Tesco's on his own.

He usually eats it all on the drive home so I don't really let him do it anymore."

He's just doing that so you'll stop asking him to help out!

Lazy bastard! :o