I'm raging at the selfishness of it..

[Fisharefriendsnotfood]

We have 3 dc.. 5,3 and 5 months. Sleep is really really scare at the moment. Dc3 still feeds at least twice through the night and dc1 and 2 have both had endless colds/illnesses.. I am sahm, dh owes and runs own business.

I'm so angry right now. We went to bed early as wrecked from night before, dc1 woke with tonsillitis when we were going to bed, crying when swallowing etc. finally settled them at about 10.30 and went to sleep. Dc3 was up at 11.30, 2, 4.30 and 5. Dc2 woke once as fell out of bed. Dc1 woke once and got up when I was feeding dc3 at 5.

She was burning with fever, crying, miserable poor thing. Gave her calpol and water and put her into our bed. At 6 I woke dh to ask him to get up with her as I had hardly slept.. He outright refused . Said he felt rough and couldn't afford to be sick (referring to work) and didn't care if it made him a prick he was going back to sleep.

I'm downstairs with her now. I'm stunned. I feel like I never ever get put anywhere near his list, never mind the top of it. This is the latest in a long line of my needs not counting. Am raging! AIBU? What do I do now

All those people who say it is impossible to nap in the day, ask nurses etc and those who work nights what they do with their dc during the following day.
They will be cat napping in a safe room, between the nursery runs if any. It is not ideal, but it does happen as this is why there are so many parents of young children working nights. So that both parents can work, without the childcare expense.

I have done that and it is a permanent state of knackerdness.

Sleep deprivation is the absolute pits.

He should've got up. He was being selfish not to. When we are parents, we pitch in, own business or not.

I think Holly is in a bad mood this morning.

It really does not help posting things like " I have 22 children, a dh that works 25 hours a day and I only sleep an hour a night.

Clearly the Op is exhausted. She has 3 young children One is poorly.

It doesnt matter that her DH is "bringing home the bacon"

All she wanted was a bloody hours sleep, thats it. Not a weeks holiday in the sun.

Why would it be so hard for him to get up an hour earlier?
Would it actually affect him that much?

I cant believe people are thinking that its ok for the OP to be up multiple times a night byt her dh cant get up 60 minutes early and still go to work.

It's fine tantrums, she is supposed to just ignore her children and leave them ill/upset - it teaches them independence didn't you know!

Stressy - are you genuinly having a 'tireder than thou' argument on here?

three words...NOT THE PLACE

And op I hope you've taken the helpful comments from here and plan on saying something.

I have an easy DS who is happy to play alone but if I have tried to doze on the sofa he's come up to me to show me something/ask for something/sit on me etc. I stopped even trying to 'cat nap' as it was more frustrating than being fully awake & knackered!

I feel so sorry for those with more than one or who have harder DCs. If you don't see how lucky you are then just don't bother.

And unfortunately for the OP this thread has lost it's direction.

Not sure she realized AIBU attracts the worst of MN sometimes

I am sure the OP is fast asleep.

Sure hope so! Poor bloody woman...

I don't think stressy is speaking from experience actually.
If she did shed realise that what she is saying is bollox.
Op I wouldn't be taking childcare advice from someone who sleeps all day while her kids watch tv

But if she doesn't make presumptions about everyone else and how easy they have it then how will she be able to judge everlong ?

And massively inexperienced if you think a dose of calpol and a drink will silence a poorly child!

I doubt the OP is asleep, her 'D'H is probably at work now and she's on her own with three children and no sleep, and wondering why on earth she posted on here

Poor love.

what idiotic responses to someone trying to give the Op advice on how she can cope with her predicament

Good grief some of the posts on here are ridiculous.

THE OP ASKED FOR ONE HOURS SLEEP? ONE HOURS SLEEP! FFS. I'm sure some of you are so perfect that you can parent on no sleep whatsoever whilst doing a phd, well done you. Give yourselves a biscuit.

The point is that there was another option. Her DH was there all he had todo was get up an hour early. She DIDN'T have todo. It wasn't her or the kids playing street. Her husband was there and all he and todo was sacrifice one hrs sleep.

No OP YANBU. I suggest you sit him down and work out a fair share of the load. Forinstance if he doesn't want to get up early he could in future do every single one of the first feed of the night. Allowing you to go to bed really early so you can cope with the rest of the night.

P.s. when dc are ill surely to Christ it is all hands in deck?

This is part of the deal of being a SAHM as far as I am concerned. It sounds as though your DH works very long hours and is under a good deal of pressure. I know the same can be said of your job as a SAHM at times, but it's different. You can choose to slob on the sofa for the day and snooze when the baby snoozes if you've had a rough night. He can't. And you don't have a rigid timetable of commitments to adhere to - he does. Likewise in the school hols if you don't want to get dressed or go anywhere for hours you don't have to. Horses for courses and all that.

DC1 will be off school poorly so keep DC2 home from nursery and just veg out for the day.

We all know that as a SAHM there are days when you are rushed off your feet, and days where you can choose to do bugger all, so long as the children are clean, fed and safe. Some days we work really hard, other days we run around for 15 minutes before he comes home and just make it look as though we have.

Unless it was a real emergency (like if I was ill) I never expected my DH to get up in the night, (although sometimes he did) or to forgo a weekend lay in to see mind the kids. That was my job. He was always out of the door at 7am and not in until at least 7pm, often later. I had all week to catch up on some rest if I felt the need. He didn't.

That is not to say you should put up with being a complete slave and having an unsupportive partner - but there are certain things you just have to suck up if you don't work and he does. All jobs have their bad days, and this was one of yours.

'And massively inexperienced if you think a dose of calpol and a drink will silence a poorly child! '
eh? where did I say that??
I said the sick child should not be getting up at 6 am

To use having pneumonia as a tool to win an argument is straw clutchy Stressy. The OP is where many, if not all of us, have been before. She is just desperate with lack of sleep.
There plenty of men out there willing to parent equally, and would've taken the hit without question.
We all work hard. The least you should expect is to be treated fairly.

Telling parents to ignore their children isn't what I would call good, or useful, advice.

Thankfully other posters have provided much more sensible ideas and I hope the OP finds a way which works for her and gives her husband a kick up the arse

I'm not asleep. I just honestly haven't the strength to deal with the thread anymore. Thanks to those being supportive and helpful.

Stressy, with all due respect, telling the OP to sit her kids in front of the TV all day isn't exactly useful advice for her predicament.

OP, YANBU, which I am sure you and any ration, non superhuman knows...

It's obviously impossible to be both a responsible, resposive parent and sleep whilst looking after a sick 5 year old, a 3 year old and a baby. You need to talk to your DH about this as not sleeping properly over a prolonged period can make you ill.

It's perfectly possible for a man working, even if they work long and stressful hours, to survive on one less hours sleep on one day, or even every day in fact, regardless of what some of the posters on here would have you believe...

Op, YANBU. Your Dh said he was being a prick. He is right.