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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I'm raging at the selfishness of it..

500 replies

Fisharefriendsnotfood · 25/03/2013 06:19

We have 3 dc.. 5,3 and 5 months. Sleep is really really scare at the moment. Dc3 still feeds at least twice through the night and dc1 and 2 have both had endless colds/illnesses.. I am sahm, dh owes and runs own business.

I'm so angry right now. We went to bed early as wrecked from night before, dc1 woke with tonsillitis when we were going to bed, crying when swallowing etc. finally settled them at about 10.30 and went to sleep. Dc3 was up at 11.30, 2, 4.30 and 5. Dc2 woke once as fell out of bed. Dc1 woke once and got up when I was feeding dc3 at 5.

She was burning with fever, crying, miserable poor thing. Gave her calpol and water and put her into our bed. At 6 I woke dh to ask him to get up with her as I had hardly slept.. He outright refused Shock. Said he felt rough and couldn't afford to be sick (referring to work) and didn't care if it made him a prick he was going back to sleep. HmmHmm

I'm downstairs with her now. I'm stunned. I feel like I never ever get put anywhere near his list, never mind the top of it. This is the latest in a long line of my needs not counting. Am raging! AIBU? What do I do now

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 25/03/2013 11:08

Some things that are safe for three-year-olds:
tessellation of cheese;
dressing themselves (socks can be difficult);
climbing chairs under supervision.

Some things that are not safe for three-year-olds.
My work-top with my knife-block on it!
Anything with a knife sharper than a mothercare my first knife;
anything with hot objects.

WireCatWhore · 25/03/2013 11:09

Jam/cheese spread/choc spread.

Not the most healthy sandwich fillings either.

hoiks judgey pants

hides Nutella

stressyBessy22 · 25/03/2013 11:09

They do swimming from Y2 at school, and there are children of 6 years old who cannot dry and dress themselves unaidedShock. My DD1 is in a Y7 class at a grammar school who all think throwing pencils around the room is hilarious! (although I suppose if kids are like this at 11, then it probably explains why you would not let them make a sandwich at 3 or 4)

TheBigJessie · 25/03/2013 11:10

If my toddler made a nutella sandwich, he might drop the jar on the floor! Glass everywhere!

stressyBessy22 · 25/03/2013 11:10

'Jam/cheese spread/choc spread.

Not the most healthy sandwich fillings either.'

AGAIN did you miss the bit about having PNEUMONIA!!!

TheOrchardKeeper · 25/03/2013 11:10

Your kids sound like an absolute riot to be around.

Well done

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 25/03/2013 11:10

My kids use knives yes, even my toddler, she has supervision,

My 13 and 10 yr old can cook, ds2 makes a mean chilli and they don't need supervision but its a gradual process, which yes I started by letting mine help as toddlers. But no its not respinsible to give a three year old free range, unsupervised access to the kitchen.

In the time I have sat here my toddler dd has come through with a bottle of squash and a potato peeler, we just got a tesco delivery and like any normal toddler she is terested in it. She is 27mths.

Ds4 is just five, he could make a basic sandwich, unsupervised in the kitchen but would make a mess. I would get out the knife for him to make sure it was suitable forhim to use.

Letting a three year old start hunting around in the kitchen and climbing up to get stuff down from worktops unsupervised is shit parenting.

Some of the families dp works with have toddlers left to fend for themselves like this :( the rest if the 'parenting' is shite and some of the children have been removed.

stressyBessy22 · 25/03/2013 11:10

A 3 yo is NOT a toddler!

SugariceisaGoodEgg · 25/03/2013 11:11

What's being at a grammar school got to do with anything?

OhChristHasRisenFENTON · 25/03/2013 11:11

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WireCatWhore · 25/03/2013 11:11

I've had pneumonia stressy actually. Fucking horrendous. Why?

mrsbungle · 25/03/2013 11:11

Lol at "I'd compliment you on them being alive"

Stressy - you are probably right and everyone else who is disagreeing with you is wrong. That sounds feasible.

Maybe your kids are too independent and have had to learn adult skills too quickly if they find their peers to be too childish? Just a thought.

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 25/03/2013 11:11

Hoik away, dear friend.

So 11 year olds who think throwing pencils in class are like this because their parents wouldn't allow them to make their own sandwiches when they were 3?

I must be reading the wrong parenting books...

chris481 · 25/03/2013 11:12

Don't know if it's relevant here, but I insist on getting a good nights sleep, because I genuinely believe the consequence of not doing so is I could be dead within 24 hours.

If I don't sleep well, then in the just over 1 hour commute back home the following afternoon, I find my eyelids closing and car drifting out of lane.

I have survived a high-speed crash in the past that was caused by falling asleep, it could easily have been fatal.

Being tired is much the same as being drunk, not only are you incompetent to drive, but you are not competent to assess your own competence! (I don't drink, but actually, if hypothetically forced to do one or the other, I would rather drive drunk than tired. Being awake but slow/uncoordinated is less dangerous than being asleep, and no amount of willpower will keep you awake if you are tired.)

TheOrchardKeeper · 25/03/2013 11:12

yes they are...

Oh god. It hurts

stressyBessy22 · 25/03/2013 11:12

So out oof interest-how would you cope with young children on your own if you are literally too ill to stand up more than a few seconds??

idshagphilspencer · 25/03/2013 11:13

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Binkyridesagain · 25/03/2013 11:13

DH had pneumonia a month ago, does he get a badge?

stressyBessy22 · 25/03/2013 11:13

(I am looking forward to your suggestions-but I bet there aren't any)

WireCatWhore · 25/03/2013 11:15

Right I'm off to get my 3 year old toddler from nursery.

I will ensure that he has cooked a 3 course meal this morning.

Stressy, when I had pneumonia, apart from the 4 days I was in hospital on all manner of drugs/oxygen etc, I had to manage,kids were 1 & 3 at the time & dp was a UK GM & very busy. He helped when he was able but I just had to get on.

Really should have left the 3 year old look after the 1 year old. Doh.

TheBigJessie · 25/03/2013 11:16

First option: I'd get my husband to pull his fucking act together if I had one.
Next option in event of not having husband: I'd crawl to the phone and order delivery, rather than leave them to starve and rummage in the kitchen...

TheChaoGoesMu · 25/03/2013 11:16

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MNHQ
KateSMumsnet · 25/03/2013 11:16
SayCoolNowSayWhip · 25/03/2013 11:17

Er.... I'd still call a 3yo a toddler.....

And in that position Stressy, if I were too ill to stand up for more than a few seconds I'd be in the hospital. And I wouldn't be the sole responsible adult in charge of 3 under-5s (what ages were your DCs when you were ill?) as it isn't fair on the children. Luckily my DH is not a prick and would be at home with me.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 25/03/2013 11:17

Actually I would say a threeyr old still counts as a toddler or they are just a pre'schooler and shouldn't be unsupervised in the kitchen.

My reception age child does swimming, he gets changed and dried etc on his own. My children are pretty independent, go to shops, catch buses, trains on their own. Help cook and clean etc. But at three they would make a sandwich with supervision.

If you think its fine for a three yr old to be pulling chairs about and climbing up to worktops and looking for knives to make sandwiches on their own you have forgotten what a three yr old is like or never had one in the first place