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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Big row. Festival or GCSE results? Is DS BU or me?

131 replies

slambang · 18/03/2013 21:26

The scenario: Ds (16) is going to a festival with friends in August. (Borrowing money from me and paying me back from his paper round.) He's sensible, hard working, aiming high.

The issue: Festival proper starts Thursday but friends (also yr 11) are buying early bird tickets to get to festival on Wednesday (best camping spots, unsigned acts playing). Ds wants to go early too. But the Thursday is GCSE results day.

I say DS should go to festival on Thursday after picking up his results. He can meet friends there. I will take him if there's no lift to share. He should be keen to find out his results.

Ds says his results are not going to change if he doesn't collect them until the next week. He doesn't need to know them immediately. He wants to go on the Wednesday.

(This is the polite version and I'm trying to be fair to both sides. Swear words were used. Wink)

Jury please!

OP posts:
pictish · 18/03/2013 21:27

They're his results, not yours.

LittleMissFantabulous · 18/03/2013 21:27

His results, his choice.

derektheladyhamster · 18/03/2013 21:28

I'd let him go, Is there anyway you can collect the results for him I would need to know them even if he wasn't bothered

lljkk · 18/03/2013 21:28

YABVU.
Does he need his results immediately for his next stage? Is he likely to be boredline to get into the college of his choice, perhaps?

tuttavia · 18/03/2013 21:28

I agree with your DS. He's right - his results won't change. And if he's happy to wait a week to get them, what's the problem? (He may well call you and ask you to open them . . . )

leftangle · 18/03/2013 21:28

What difference, to either of you, will it make if he doesn't know. Is there anything he has to do urgently when he gets them.
If not I think YABU.

LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 18/03/2013 21:29

His GCSE results will be there when he gets back, he's right; they won't change. I'd let him go.

whois · 18/03/2013 21:29

DS is right, his results won't change. It's not like A levels and uni places where he might have to fight thru clearing if results aren't as desired. Totally fine to go to festival and pick the results up later.

coffeeandcream · 18/03/2013 21:29

I actually agree with your DS! But I could see that as his parent you would want to know how well he had done.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 18/03/2013 21:30

YABU :-)

Iamcountingto3 · 18/03/2013 21:30

Why does he need to be there to pick up his results on the day? Is there likely to be anything he needs to do - doesn't sound like he'll be signing up for resits or similar...? I think your ds is right - nothing is going to change if he gets his results later.

Is it more about you wanting to know the results by any chance?!?

I went away to a festival at exactly the same stage and rang home to get my GCSE results - everyone lived...

Original poster
slambang · 18/03/2013 21:30

Yes true. They're his results. He's working bloody hard and desrves good ones. but I want to KNOW

OP posts:
TravelinColour · 18/03/2013 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exexpat · 18/03/2013 21:31

Can't he get them online? Nephew was on big family holiday in France when his came out a couple of years ago, but he got them by email, I think, or maybe logged on to school website. You can probably get them on your mobile these days...

But I'd agree, his choice. Will there be very much hanging on the results - ie is he in danger of not getting the grades to do his chosen A-level subjects?

BarbarianMum · 18/03/2013 21:31

If his results are disappointing, would that affect his future plans in a way that required immediate action (ringing round 6th forms/speaking to college)?

If not, then I think he should go to the festival.

firesidechat · 18/03/2013 21:31

I think I agree with your son. Sorry.

I know you're probably very keen to know the results, but he is obviously more chilled about it. Aren't they posted online these days, so he may be able to find out anyway?

BellaTalbert · 18/03/2013 21:31

Personally I would let him go on the Wednesday to be with his friends. I can appreciate that you would like to know the results as soon as they are available however whats a few days extra??

Original poster
slambang · 18/03/2013 21:32

Oh damn I knew you'd say he was right.

OP posts:
LivingThings · 18/03/2013 21:32

His results will be exactly the same no matter when he picks them up.

INeedThatForkOff · 18/03/2013 21:32

YABU, but I imagine he could arrange to have them posted. However if he doesn't want to, you're going to have to stay on tenterhooks for a while longer.

toobreathless · 18/03/2013 21:32

'He's sensible, hard working and aiming high'

He sounds lovely, honestly let him do what he wants to & be proud of him when his results are great which I'm sure they will be :)

HollyBerryBush · 18/03/2013 21:33

Depends if a 6th form place is dependent upon them.

The boards have just rejiggered English GCSE again - CAU being 'rigorously examined' this year - so you can bet a grade will be knocked off.

Backtobedlam · 18/03/2013 21:33

YABU-I didn't want to collect my own results as was so nervous. I went away to camp for the week and my sister collected them, then rang them through to me. I was so much happier with this as was distracted by all the fun we were having and didn't get so nervous. Could you collect them for him and ring them through?

Eskarina · 18/03/2013 21:34

I was away for my gcse results. My mum could have picked them up from the school for me or I could have provided an SAE for the school to post them to me. Can't remember which I did now, but I do remember mum phoning me at camp to tell me what they were.
Let him go and make sure you can get the results. A week is a bloody long time to wait!

BrandiBroke · 18/03/2013 21:35

Personally I think 16 is too young to go camping at a festival, but as you're happy for him to go I think he should be able to go to the whole thing with his friends. Can he either get the results posted or make arrangements for you to go in and get them for him?