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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Big row. Festival or GCSE results? Is DS BU or me?

131 replies

slambang · 18/03/2013 21:26

The scenario: Ds (16) is going to a festival with friends in August. (Borrowing money from me and paying me back from his paper round.) He's sensible, hard working, aiming high.

The issue: Festival proper starts Thursday but friends (also yr 11) are buying early bird tickets to get to festival on Wednesday (best camping spots, unsigned acts playing). Ds wants to go early too. But the Thursday is GCSE results day.

I say DS should go to festival on Thursday after picking up his results. He can meet friends there. I will take him if there's no lift to share. He should be keen to find out his results.

Ds says his results are not going to change if he doesn't collect them until the next week. He doesn't need to know them immediately. He wants to go on the Wednesday.

(This is the polite version and I'm trying to be fair to both sides. Swear words were used. Wink)

Jury please!

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 18/03/2013 22:47

Don't they get them posted or online.
Ds got both his standard and higher grades online, they arrived in the post later.
It must be different in England.
But anyway, it's up to him.

GrowSomeCress · 18/03/2013 22:48

I think he should be there for results - YANBU

AllPurposeNortherner · 18/03/2013 22:51

I bet he can give official permission for you to get them.

Dozer · 18/03/2013 22:57

Can you he get them online or delegate their collection?

If not, it will be test of patience/letting go - I'd struggle with that big time!

D'you reckon after taking the exams and waiting your DS might actually not want to wait and change his mind himself? What are his friends that are going to the festival doing about their results?

amievil · 18/03/2013 23:00

Going back more years than I care to think I was the 16 yo DS who was off to Reading when GCSE results came out. I had them posted to my house and they were waiting for me when I got home.

I don't think I gave those results more than a moments thought until I'd got home, had some proper food and had a nice shower. I then sat down with the folks and a bottle of wine to celebrate the opening of some pretty good results.

Let the poor boy go, he'll a nightmare to live with if you don't.

SergeantSnarky · 19/03/2013 02:51

yabu -have them sent by post

BlueStarsAtNight · 19/03/2013 04:56

Sounds like what you really want is for him to WANT to stay back and get them, so you can have the big picking-up-results 'event'; however, if you MAKE him miss out on going to the festival early with his friends to get his results, the chances are he will resent it and the moment will probably not be how you imagined it anyway - he'll likely want to just get it over with so he can join his friends, not celebrate with you. If he waits til he's home, you can actually all probably enjoy it more, e.g. maybe plan a nice family meal to celebrate and make a big fuss of him when the knowledge of his results is still new and he's not itching to be elsewhere!

ratspeaker · 19/03/2013 06:51

If he's at a festival he shouldn't take a smart phone or any expensive device.
So seeing results online for him is out.
( I'd buy a cheap PAYG for a teen at festival)

Sorry but I think YABU
He's right in that the results won't be any different whether he sees them Thursday or a few days later.
If you are that keen to find out ask him to get them posted to the house and get him to give you permission to open them.

xMinerva · 19/03/2013 06:54

I hope he has fun at the festival and gets the results he wants. Wink

KC225 · 19/03/2013 07:05

Another that agrees with son - let him go, it will not make a difference to the results

wanderings · 19/03/2013 07:15

Aren't results displayed on a noticeboard, which you could go in and read, or is that only when I was at school?

I had this the other way round: I had to go in and read them, while my parents were abroad, and I had to call them there.

RobinSparkles · 19/03/2013 07:18

I agree with your son.

ArseAche · 19/03/2013 07:20

I was away when I got my 'O' Level results came. Thank god! They were dire, and from a Grammar school too.

In response to the OP, Let him go, he sounds a lovely young man.

Contradictionincarnate · 19/03/2013 07:20

yeah his results let him delay getting them ... he has put in the hard work (I hope) like you said nothing will change!

funkybuddah · 19/03/2013 07:20

Festival, so much more fun & great experience. Could he arrange with school to see if you could collect them for him?

Although I agree with the others his results his choice.

Maggie111 · 19/03/2013 07:28

I'm not sure I'd let my son get his GCSE's a week later. But then yours sounds like a great kid, who deserves to spend the extra night with his mates. Especially as he's paying for it.

Such a difficult one. Could you offer to pay for the festival if he picks up his results on Thurs? Might be a good compromise?

funkybuddah · 19/03/2013 07:32

I fail to see the problem with getting them late. I'm assuming its Reading&Leeds festival so bank holiday weekend. If the school send them out/online he'll know by Monday when he gets home.

Luckytwo · 19/03/2013 07:53

I'm surprised that he doesn't want to get them himself on the Thursday. My son did this and then went straight to the Reading Festival. Some of his friends got early bird tickets but he didn't want to.

I'd say I know a lot of kids going into school on the Friday for advice after results were not quite what they wanted/hoped for in order to sort out 6th form choices.

Plus at 16 restricting the number of days at the festival is not such a bad idea Hmm

ArseAche · 19/03/2013 07:54

Lucky - At 16 you have a choice, go and get your results OR have a fab time at a festival with your mates. It is a no brainer for most 16 year olds!

Pozzled · 19/03/2013 07:54

I was away with friends when both my GCSE and A level results came out. Someone (might have been my mum or a friend) collected them and I phoned home to get them. This was before mobiles so it had to wait until I could get to a payphone! It wasn't a big deal at all.

Let him go, OP. If he's as sensible and hard working as you say, he should be trusted to make his own decision.

ScarletLady02 · 19/03/2013 07:59

I understand you want to know...but let him go. He's worked really hard and deserves this. I bet he's so excited about it. A few days won't make a difference.

Luckytwo · 19/03/2013 08:03

And my son did go, but on the Thursday - music doesn't start till the Friday, and he was far more relaxed with his results known. Smile

exoticfruits · 19/03/2013 08:03

I can't see why he needs to be there - other than you don't want to wait.

Luckytwo · 19/03/2013 08:05

Plus I was paying for the ticket - if he worked hard this was his reward . Mind you it wasn't an issue for us, he was happy to go on the Thursday

NigellaPleaseComeDineWithMe · 19/03/2013 08:07

We are going to be away on holiday so DS won't be able to pick his up. These days they almost know what they are going to get anyway so much less of a surprise - when exams convert to linear it will be more of a surprise possibly.

If he's OK waiting then let him make his own decision.