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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Big row. Festival or GCSE results? Is DS BU or me?

131 replies

slambang · 18/03/2013 21:26

The scenario: Ds (16) is going to a festival with friends in August. (Borrowing money from me and paying me back from his paper round.) He's sensible, hard working, aiming high.

The issue: Festival proper starts Thursday but friends (also yr 11) are buying early bird tickets to get to festival on Wednesday (best camping spots, unsigned acts playing). Ds wants to go early too. But the Thursday is GCSE results day.

I say DS should go to festival on Thursday after picking up his results. He can meet friends there. I will take him if there's no lift to share. He should be keen to find out his results.

Ds says his results are not going to change if he doesn't collect them until the next week. He doesn't need to know them immediately. He wants to go on the Wednesday.

(This is the polite version and I'm trying to be fair to both sides. Swear words were used. Wink)

Jury please!

OP posts:
LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 18/03/2013 21:35

YABU

xxDebstarxx · 18/03/2013 21:35

let him go! Can't the results be posted home?

VinegarDrinker · 18/03/2013 21:35

YABU

I got mine posted home, was on holiday with friends.

A levels are a different matter if applying to Uni

HawthornLantern · 18/03/2013 21:35

I would have cut off my own arm rather than miss getting my results at your son's age....but, that said, if he's relaxed enough to collect them later, I'd let him go to the festival.

Knowing the results early or late changes nothing (even though you might die of curiosity, I'm sure I would).

But as others have said, these are not A level results where he might need to take quick action if he missed his desired grades to get to university. And you could make that point to him, so he doesn't try and torture you when they are due.

UniqueAndAmazing · 18/03/2013 21:36

you should be able to get his results posted.
and
god yeah are YABU!

Picturesinthefirelight · 18/03/2013 21:36

I was on holiday the day my degree results cane out. I certainly remember lots of people being on holiday during gcse and a level results. It wouldn't occur to me to organise holidays round that though in the case of a levels time is if the essence

Round here its only on induction day that you go in and sort things out for a levels if your gcse's arnt up to scratch

INeverSaidThat · 18/03/2013 21:36

YABU......... but I completely understand Grin

Original poster
slambang · 18/03/2013 21:36

Yes his 6th form place depends on them but I don't think much could be done about talking to the school over a bank holiday weekend anyway so to be fair to ds (grrr) I don't think that arguments a winner for me.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 18/03/2013 21:37

as others have said they are his results they are not going to burst into flames if he doesn't get them Grin YABU you know you are , dont they get them in a text anyway these days well SQA in scotland do , relax

exexpat · 18/03/2013 21:37

Actually, when is GCSE results day this year? DS is taking a couple early, and I have a feeling we may both be away at a festival...

UniqueAndAmazing · 18/03/2013 21:38

hawthorn my school insisted on us going to fetch our results from the school. I would have given both arms and a leg never to gave to have stepped foot into that place again or seen the twats and knobheads I went to school with.

mrsjay · 18/03/2013 21:38

MY dd wouldnt wake up when her HIgher results came in I was pacing the floor she said oh I got them text to me and went back to sleep Shock

Yfronts · 18/03/2013 21:38

Why don't you get the results for him and then phone him if they are good? That way he can celebrate

Original poster
slambang · 18/03/2013 21:38

Fairly unanimous then. My first BU!

OP posts:
trinity0097 · 18/03/2013 21:39

Have them sent to home for you to open and ring him with them, or get him to sign a permission slip to say that results can be given to you, again to ring him with.

I was in Hong Kong visiting a school friend on my GCSE results day, it's far less important than a-level results where you might then have to ring round unis etc if you don't get straight into your first choice uni.

INeverSaidThat · 18/03/2013 21:39

A level you do have to be home in case something goes wrong and you have to go into clearing.

BagWoman · 18/03/2013 21:39

Could you compromise and collect the results for him and text /call with them? will school allow?

Delayingtactic · 18/03/2013 21:40

My dad collected my (a level) results for me as I was abroad. Could you do that?

AnyFucker · 18/03/2013 21:42

I was on holiday when my A levels results came out

The work is done (or not done) and the die is cast by then. What possible difference does an extra day make ?

Stop being silly, and let him do what he wishes.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 18/03/2013 21:42

slambang yes YABU but I think you knew that already. Grin

And you are very brave to try to argue logic with a 16yo Wink.

But yes, his results and they'll keep.

RedPencils · 18/03/2013 21:42

It's up to him, although the waitin would drive me demented and I'd be tempted to steam them open

Original poster
slambang · 18/03/2013 21:45

Yes if the results can be given to me or online I suppose that's the answer. I suppose I'm just a bit surprised that ds and his friends aren't really bothered. It just seems a pity they wont have that big day.

OP posts:
mysteryfairy · 18/03/2013 21:47

I'll be a voice of dissent. I had this last summer with DS1 and I got him to collect his results and then ran him (and two friends as it turned out) straight to the festival.

DS got excellent results, literally couldn't have done better, and I think for him that really made the weekend which was already a bit of a rite of passage as in previous years I had only let him go for the day.

The atmosphere picking up the results was lovely. The school had an excellent year. The staff were happy and proud as were most of the boys and parents. DS was photographed extensively for the school website, local paper etc and I'm glad to have those pictures. There is a sixth form at the school and there were facilities for anyone who needed or wanted to to consult re A level choices etc there and then. I think he would have missed out on a real buzz if he hadn't been there and had he needed to it would have been great to amend A level choices there and then.

Y12 friends had secured them decent camping spots and tbh Thursday to Monday is enough of no sleep, nutrition etc

I have DS2 collecting results this year and I expect him to get them before I run him to Leeds. In fact I've booked the day off work already so that I can! DS1 can save him a decent spot. So if you do decide he needs to get his results he won't be the only 16 year old who isn't an early bird this year!

ISeeRedPeople · 18/03/2013 21:48

I'm with your DS too. Though as his parent I'd be damn well wanting to go to the festival with him tbh. Not to keep an eye on him mind, just to go rock.

I remember my parents making a huge deal about me getting my results, it was embarrassing. I didn't feel like they were mine at all, it was all about them and what THEY wanted (not saying you're like that, just a bit bitter from experience!).

dopeysheep · 18/03/2013 21:49

Perhaps he wants to wait until after the festival in case his results aren't what he was hoping for. If he doesn't know at least he won't have put a downer on his festival.
Can't change them anyway, I woukd just let him enjoy the music with his mates and worry about results when he gets back.