to not give my child a present on their siblings birthday?

[DeepInTheMeadow]

I have two children.

DD(3) and DD9mo. We were discussing tonight what to do for DD2's birthday - decided that we would just be having close family and friends over for afternoon tea cakes.

DH said we should have a present for DD1 as he think she might feel left out with DD2 getting presents and attention.

I think this is ridiculous personally and that it's perhaps sending the wrong message.

I never got presents on my older sisters birthday, DH would get presents on his siblings birthday though.

YANBU. When I was little, on my siblings birthdays my grandma would look after the birthday boy and mum and dad would take me and my other brother on a special shopping trip to choose a present for the birthday boy. We would spend a morning looking around and selecting something that my brother would love. We would go out for coffee and cake and help plan the birthday party. Help to choose balloons and cards etc. That way the non-birthday children would always feel very much included and we would get excited for each others birthdays - not because we would get a present - but because we were excited to see the reaction that our presents would get from the birthday child. I cant wait to do this with my own dcs. My hubby's family tend to get the non birthday child a little gift and it ends up being silly. Hubby and I will be putting our foot down with that one when the time comes.

Thefamily next door to us growing up had 3 children whose birthdays were all within a month of each other. Add to that that there was only 2 years between all 3, and they used to all celebrate their birthday on the same day. Only when they were really little, it meant none of them got jealous. Then when they were bigger they got their own day. I always thought it was weird though.

My step Mum always buys my boys non birthday sweets on the others birthday, but there not wrapped, so they don't feel like a present iyswim.

This post isn't only aimed at you mamabear but you've just described YOUR family tradition, you sound like it means a lot to you, which is lovely.

I describe MY family tradition and get called "odd" "bizarre" "strange" "weird" and get told I am raising two spoilt, entitled children, when I say I am not I get told I wouldn't have the awareness to know if I was .

Doing what I do is NONE of the above things, it's just DIFFERENT to what many of you choose to do. Not WRONG, just DIFFERENT.

akaemmafrost - I didnt read the whole thread, therefore didn't read your post. Im not judgy towards people who do buy their children a gift on a siblings birthday, I do not think that it makes children entitled or spoiled at all, I just don't think the op is being unreasonable not to want to. Personally, I will choose not to too. In my hubby's family, the siblings get a present from everyone - grandparents, aunties, uncles, grown up cousins etc. They end up with a huge pile of their own little gifts. It has never sit well with hubby and hubby's parents actually put a stop to it when hubby and his siblings were little. When I said hubby and I would put our foot down, I was referring to our families extreme gift giving. So, in conclusion, not judging your tradition at all; honest!

I describe MY family tradition and get called "odd" "bizarre" "strange" "weird" and get told I am raising two spoilt, entitled children, when I say I am not I get told I wouldn't have the awareness to know if I was

Did that actually happen? Or were just people stating an opinion and you decided that these words were personal and directed at only you.

On DD1's birthday, I buy DD2 similar presents. And on DD2's birthday, I buy DD1 equivalent presents. That's cos their twins though.

Otherwise, I think it's quite a nice family tradition, I don't see the problem really.

Read the thread lovers. People who do this have been described thus throughout the thread.

mamabear I only mentioned you because you did such a nice description of your birthday stuff .

And yes when I said my kids were not spoilt a post soon after said people who's kids are spoiled probably wouldn't be aware of it anyway.

Yes but they aren't directing it solely at you are they? No.

No-one said Akaemmafrost you are "odd" "bizarre" "strange" and "weird"

You threw a mini strop because people stated their opinion on the subject and then we got the entire history of your children.

Get over it. Don't make it so personal.

Just say why you think it is a good idea without having a tantrum and stating that people are personally calling you names.

I wonder how many people who have this tradition have more than 2 children?

Not at all, just responding from my gut to your rather nasty and not at all true post.

You've said I have had a tantrum? Where? I've responded to all points made calmly and without upset. And I know this because I haven't FELT upset while I've been on here. You can say it if you like but it won't make it true.

Oh and I will talk about my fabulous kids as much as I want to, if you don't like reading about them, well I suppose you could always piss off to another thread that's more to your liking .

Well I might not be so keen on doing this if I had say FOUR kids to buy for Ilikebirds I daresay I'd get over my keenness to do it pretty quickly then .

And what the hell has my ex H got to do with anything?

I'd say you bringing that up makes you look like a bit of a twat.

Yes I buy my kids a small present on each others' birthday.
Where does it end? It ends there. They have no problem with friends, anyone else getting presents on their birthday and them getting nothing, it's just something i do because I want to.

Yes we do and we have 5DC.It was something I started doing when we had our second child.

They don't act like spoiled brats quite the opposite.Oldest DS didn't want any Christmas presents last year as he wanted us to donate the money we'd spend on him to a Charity that enables girls living in severe poverty in other countries to be able to go to school.

All 4 younger DC asked if we could adopt some pets.All 5DC have raised lots of money so far for different charity's of they're own backs.

Careful soditall don't go into too much detail about how nice your kids are. It may not be appreciated.

Your ds sounds lovely .

Deep There was a poster who was also very rude to emma.

I'll comment where I like and I will say whatever I like to people who are untruthful about me and mention my children in a piss taking way thanks.

Do you think saying go fuck yourself is acceptable though Crash ?

I don't mind a healthy debate, but if the only response you can come back with is - go fuck yourself. Then I'll question whether that person actually possesses a single brain-cell.

Thanks crashdoll

And what was untruthful emma ?

I haven't seen on this thread anybody directly calling you ridiculous, odd or weird.