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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that 'but it's mother's day' is a crap excuse.

482 replies

manicinsomniac · 10/03/2013 18:51

We had the dress rehearsal of our very large scale school play all day today .

The children were not forced to be in it. They auditioned. They have known since mid October that this rehearsal was unmissable in almost all circumstances and that if they couldn't commit to it then they couldn't be in the show.

on Friday night as he left for home one boy (with a large-ish part) told us he can't come as it's mother's day. I rang home explaining the importance of the rehearsal and pointing out how long it has been scheduled for but the response was no, he can't be away from his family on mother's day.

And now they are cross because we've kicked the kid out. They were warned.

The other 70 odd children were all there.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 10/03/2013 18:53

yanbu. i don't get why mothers day HAS to be so important. if you really want to celebrate it, you can do it on the saturday (i did with my mum, as i had a 10 hour shift at work today) or even the week before.

MamaMumra · 10/03/2013 18:53

Yes I think you were BU.

Sirzy · 10/03/2013 18:54

I think given so many people go visiting relatives or for family days out in mothers day then it probably wasn't the most ideal time for a dress rehearsal really

pooka · 10/03/2013 18:54

YANBU

Iamsparklyknickers · 10/03/2013 18:54

Umm... it's a shame that an all day rehersal couldn't have been scheduled to avoid it, but if they knew the policy then they've chosen their priorities so on that basis, no YANBU.

I do feel sorry for the boy though, I presume he's young enough to have to bend to the pressure from his parents.

SueDoku · 10/03/2013 18:56

YADNBU. The warnings were numerous and clear - if they were ignored, that is not your problem --- getting the understudy ready for the opening night is your problem...Shock

RobotLover68 · 10/03/2013 18:56

YABU holding it on Mother's Day

ohforfoxsake · 10/03/2013 18:58

YABU.

What reasons did they give when you asked why it was so important to them?

And then you kicked him out?

Unreasonable AND mean.

Goldmandra · 10/03/2013 18:58

YANBU

I wonder how that boy feels about his mum now Sad

Original poster
manicinsomniac · 10/03/2013 19:00

It was the only time for the dress rehearsal. We perform Weds-Sat this week. We cannot just have a whole day off timetable. The dress rehearsal has been held on the Sunday before the show for the past 12 years. I'm sure it must have hit mother's day before. Mother's day is just a day surely?!

And yes, sparklyknickers I do feel very sorry for the boy concerned but we feel that we can't do anything else otherwise others will start seeing rehearsals as optional in future and we won't have the show ready in time. He is 13 so i suppose it's borderline as to whether he had the choice or not.

OP posts:
pictish · 10/03/2013 19:00

Yabu to be so stern about it really.
One missing child out of 70 on Mother's Day is pretty good going!

Don't get me wrong...I think MD is mostly flim flam and poppycock, but I still reckon you did well to get so many!

Sirzy · 10/03/2013 19:02

How old is the child in question?

MerylStrop · 10/03/2013 19:02

YABU
Poor kid
You have clearly lost all sense of perspective

silverfrog · 10/03/2013 19:03

Why couldn't you have dress rehearsal all day Saturday this year?

Original poster
manicinsomniac · 10/03/2013 19:03

foxsake the reason was that it was mother's day so they were going out for lunch and to see grandparents. Something I assume they could do any weekend.

And why do you think it was mean to kick him out when they were told 5 months ago that if they couldn't attend that rehearsal then they couldn't be in the show. If someone had then ended up ill or with a family emergency etc then we would obviously have had a good reason to make an exception. But mother's day?! Really? I'm really surprised by anyone thinking mother's day is so special.

OP posts:
MollyMurphy · 10/03/2013 19:03

Unfortunate for the child who had no say in the matter....so yes, I think kicking him out was an over-reaction......not that I don't see your point of view mind, but YAB a bit U.

Original poster
manicinsomniac · 10/03/2013 19:04

silverfrog we couldn't have the rehearsal on the Saturday because we spent 19 hours of Saturday building the set so that it was ready for teh children for this morning. I'm talking thousands of pounds worth of professional set, sound and lighting equipment, we definitely needed the full day.

OP posts:
Backinthebox · 10/03/2013 19:05

YABU to hold an all day rehearsal on Mother's Day and to ask a child to choose between a school play and his mother. You don't say how old this child is but it is probable that back in October he didn't put 2 and 2 together and realise that he would be forced to miss what is in most households a family day.

onedev · 10/03/2013 19:05

I think YABU also. Poor boy.

ENormaSnob · 10/03/2013 19:06

I really don't celebrate mothers day at all but I think yabu.

At 13 I doubt he would've had a choice Sad

ToTeachOrNotToTeach · 10/03/2013 19:06

Poor boy. Very mean. Making him choose between family and school.

idshagphilspencer · 10/03/2013 19:07

Poor kid he gets punished for something that is beyond his control. Nice op nice.
YABVU

montage · 10/03/2013 19:07

I don't think most 13 year olds would be able to stand up to a parent that is so set on his celebrating her day that she would let him lose his part and all the work he has put in so far.

Poor boy.

Mrsrobertduvall · 10/03/2013 19:07

YANBU.
A 13yr old should be able to convey that info to parents about being there, and checking it's ok.
You gave 5 months notice...presumaly you told the children about the importance of attending.

Dd 16 has just done school musical, we had to sign a form at the beginning of October re attendance at rehearsals...everyone had to attend, or they would lose their part.

Startail · 10/03/2013 19:07

Senior school YANBU
Primary DCs might be soppy about Mother's Day and be going out for lunch. Teens can treat their mums' to Indian takeaway and wine in the evening.

I wouldn't kick him off the show. I think even at 19 school children are still that. They live at home and rely on parents for money and transport. Sometimes it's just not fair to play home against school.