AIBU to think that 'but it's mother's day' is a crap excuse.

[manicinsomniac]

We had the dress rehearsal of our very large scale school play all day today .

The children were not forced to be in it. They auditioned. They have known since mid October that this rehearsal was unmissable in almost all circumstances and that if they couldn't commit to it then they couldn't be in the show.

on Friday night as he left for home one boy (with a large-ish part) told us he can't come as it's mother's day. I rang home explaining the importance of the rehearsal and pointing out how long it has been scheduled for but the response was no, he can't be away from his family on mother's day.

And now they are cross because we've kicked the kid out. They were warned.

The other 70 odd children were all there.

So, AIBU?

[tethersend]

Um, you don't think you're taking this play a little too seriously do you?

YABUptight

[Gooseysgirl]

YANBU

[ivykaty44]

The boys parents shouldn't have signed the forms in the first place if they knew he could or they wouldn't have let him be able to come today. Then there wouldn't be this problem know for their son, they have effectively got him kicked of the performance by their own doing - they knew the rules and ignored them

[EmmelineGoulden]

You haven't explained upthread why the rehersal had to be today - you've explained why it couldn't be on Saturday, but not why, out of the whole year, you had to schedule the play and preperation for it so that the dress rehersal was on this specific day.

[Shoppinglist]

I think Yabu.

Do you have children OP?

[EnjoyResponsibly]

Well I think between you and the boys parents you've managed to piss all over his chips.

Nice job

[DontmindifIdo]

YABU - i bet you anything the boy didn't get a choice in visiting grandparents or not, it was the parents' choice - so saying this child had the dates and was able to check in October when it was and make sure his family didn't have other plans back then is asking a lot (really, how many adults could tell you that far in advance when mothers day is let alone children? without googling, do you know which date father's day is this year? Without googling, when does Mother's day fall next year?).

Why couldn't you do this on the Saturday instead? You have been actually really lucky that the rest also turned up, you can throw out one child just before the performance, but if it'd had been 10 or more, would you have been able to still do it without a negative effect on your play?

Next year, if it falls on mothers day or any other important day, make them take home a form that says "please note, in order to take part, your child will have to be in school all day on mother's day." before they audition, refusing to get them to take part unless they have it signed off. I bet your office will get a shed load of complaints and you'll be made to move it though...

[ivykaty44]

could you imagine if I came on here and said 69 children went to rehearsal today but one boy didn't because it was mothering sunday - well it was mothering sunday for 69 other mothers but we let our children go as otherwise the rules state they can't be in the play.

But Miss has said it is ok for this boy to still be in the play even though he didn't go in today, as it was mothering sunday and his mother said no to him going even though she signed to say he would liek the rest of us

why is he given preferential treatment and doesn't have to follow the rules but everyone else has to?

[Iamsparklyknickers]

EmmelineGoulden I presumed the lights would need a full day to be rigged up (possibly hired so left till as late as possible to get done) meaning a Saturday so the rest of the school wasn't disrupted, leaving Sunday as the only possible full day left for dress rehersals with the lighting.

Even though it's a school production I can't see them being very happy about disrupting a full day of lessons for the children in the show.

[Thisisaeuphemism]

We had football today as usual. If you have a commitment you have a commitment. They could have special dinner in the evening, couldn't they?
Poor kid tho.

[manicinsomniac]

Emmeline. The play has to be in the Spring Term. It has to include a Saturday performance so it can't be the last week of term as people go on holiday. The term is only 9 weeks long. So it has to be the second to last week. Every year.

Yes, I have children.

[ponyandpotatopie]

Poor child
He works really hard for 5 months and gets kicked out at the last minute.
That's awful.

[manicinsomniac]

dontmindifIdo - read my other posts, the parents had indeed signed to that effect.

[DreamsTurnToGoldDust]

So what if a child couldnt make it because of illness? would they have been kicked out?

[EnjoyResponsibly]

Pony he has you. Thems the rules in the land of no Saturdays

[Taffeta]

Why can't it be the third to last week? Why is there zero flexibility?

[EnjoyResponsibly]

Has to

[EnjoyResponsibly]

Ok OP so given all your incredibly autocratic rules and your insistence that this child should be kicked off for being unable to toe your line follow them, can I just ask why the hell you've posted in AIBU as you're so certain you're not?

[ponyandpotatopie]

What's his part? I can't imagine that missing this practice will have that great an impact if you've been able to replace him so easily.

[Shoppinglist]

I think you have been mean spirited and I guess he won't ever bother putting so much commitment and effort into anything else again.

He's 13 his parents made him go to a meal and you punished him.

I hope you feel a bit shit about it I'm sure he does.

[Sirzy]

I think when you realised the clash of dates it would have made sense to move it. Just because others made it didn't mean it wasn't a massive incovenice and its not fair to but the children in that position.

[Shesparkles]

Just for clarification, when you sent out the forms for parents to sign, did you point out that the dress rehearsal was actually on Mothers Day?

[idshagphilspencer]

So why the fuck post OP? You are so utterly self righteous! Did you just want us all to pat you on the back?!

[IShallWearMidnight]

OP, as you made it clear right at the start, and both the boy and his parents knew what the rules were, then YANBU. Why couldn't the parents have contacted you if there was a particular reason why MD was so important?

FWIW I missed out on a meal out tonight as one DD was ill, and we felt DH should go as it was also with MIL. I can't say that I'm totally devastated. I've spent previous MDs at rugby tournaments and once officiating at a trampoline competition than none of my DC were actually at, but felt obliged to do as I'd made a commitment in advance to do it. I'd rather my DC learned about commitments and obligations that way than by losing a role in a play. Which is very harsh of the boys parents, as they are the ones who have caused this.

[manicinsomniac]

Dreams - no. I have already said that.

Taffeta - a) because there are other events that always happen in the third to last week (some internal exams and a couple of large sports tournaments for eg) and b) because there is no way we would be ready in time. Taking one week out of what is only an 8 week block (bar a few initial sessions before Christmas) is actually quite a big deal.