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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find friends sexual history a bit grim?

254 replies

LoversThatWentWrong · 09/03/2013 15:39

Now I'm not a prude or a "pearl clutcher" but we got onto the subject of how many people we had slept with etc and I found my friends sexual past not shocking, just really grim.

She has slept with 15ish people and couldn't remember half of their names. Nothing wrong with that if you're single and enjoy no strings attached sex but she only slept with most of these men in order to get her numbers up. To boast about how many men shes slept with.

I know other people who slept around a lot in their past but they did it because they were single and enjoyed sex - it wasn't about getting their numbers up at all.

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 11/03/2013 19:49

If you say their names out loud, something awful happens! Shush!

Ledkr · 11/03/2013 19:49

Fifty shades of hog warts Grin

Latara · 11/03/2013 19:51

Now that's just wrong because there are no fit men in HP IMO...

TheBigJessie · 11/03/2013 19:57

Just to be argumentative, what about Bill Weasley? Exciting job as a cursebreaker, long hair, and an earring.

Bit of a dangerous career, so possibly not husband material, but maybe for an exciting year or two? Wink

Latara · 11/03/2013 20:03

Actually the Harry Potter actor whathisname is fit now he's got older (but since i'm so old i can't remember his name then i'm probably too old for him!)

SolidGoldBrass · 11/03/2013 20:17

Ooh, has anyone else read My Immortal? THe single worst piece of Harry Potter fanfic in the world, but hysterically funny.

MrsLouisTheroux · 11/03/2013 20:23

Actually, I said 15 is a lot!
Redtooth:"YABU.You ARE a prude and a "pearl clutcher" if you think 15 is a lot. Think about who is making up for your share if you think it is..."
Whoever is making up for my share, they are very welcome to sleep with all the many men I don't find attractive Grin. Knock yourself out!

LST · 11/03/2013 20:45

good for me? Confused Who said anything about me op?

mummabug · 11/03/2013 20:45

OP, I am also guilty of being a bit judgmental in these situations. I know that the pill, modern culture etc has changed things for women - they can sleep around without getting pregnant. But this doesn't change the fundamental biological differences between men and women that will always exist.

I knew a lady who told me that she had slept with 30+ men in the space of two years ('and some of them at the same time') purely because it made her feel attractive and wanted.

I didn't point out to her that it's not really a compliment if a guy wants to sleep with you, it's usually a given that they will bonk pretty much anyone wether they find them super attractive or not. If you're going to do that you should be doing it because you enjoy casual sex, not as a validation...because it really isn't a validation of anything except your low self esteem.

This article sums it up for me really

therawness.com/why-its-worse-for-women-to-sleep-around/

PrettyKitty1986 · 11/03/2013 20:47

Why is it 'judgemental' for someone to state they think 15 is a lot, yet perfectly fine for someone to call that person a prude etc.

I'm not a prude in the slightest. For me, 15 seems a lot. I have a hard time understanding how so many women on here seem to think huge numbers are something to brag about. Surely there are more rewarding things people have done to boast over Hmm

TheBigJessie · 11/03/2013 21:26

Read My Immortal, yep. couldn't believe it wasn't parody. But it's no longer the worst piece out there. Just saying...

SolidGoldBrass · 11/03/2013 21:51

Mummabug: Your link doesn't work, but it's likely to be drivel anyway. It's not wrong for women to have lots of different sexual partners if they want. I've had over 100.

SolidGoldBrass · 11/03/2013 21:52

Jessie: I think there was some suggestion that it was a parody or a prank of some kind, but I don't know that it was ever confirmed one way or the other. I'm inclined to believe it really is the work of a sensationally dim-witted teen.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 11/03/2013 21:54

it's usually a given that they will bonk pretty much anyone wether they find them super attractive or not.

What a horrible view of men you have. Seriously - would you say that about another group? 'Oh, black people ... they will bonk pretty much anyone'? Or, 'oh, yes, lesbians ... they will bonk pretty much anyone?'

McNewPants2013 · 11/03/2013 22:03

My husband and I started off as fuck buddies, i was 18 and desperate to loose my vaginity didn't bank in falling in love, having children and getting married lol.

Does it matter why someone has sex

ChairmanWow · 11/03/2013 22:16

Interesting that what we're not seeing on this thread are loads of posts from women who've slept around expressing regret or saying they felt cheap, used etc. No matter whether you think 15 is a small or large number of partners surely that's a good thing, no? It shows that we have become sexually empowered and can make the choice between fulfilling relationship sex or fulfilling casual sex.

Now if we can just stop judging each other... Hmm

MrsKeithRichards · 11/03/2013 22:20

Oh jimmy you actually made me laugh. When I had my threesome I was deliberating over what cock I wanted were, not which one would make a better father.

MrsKeithRichards · 11/03/2013 22:23

Fuck me I posted before I got to the identical twins bit!!!!

superstarheartbreaker · 11/03/2013 22:27

Well if your shocked by your friend then you'd be completely horrified by me...I've lost count!

superstarheartbreaker · 11/03/2013 22:29

Why on earth is it worse for women to sleep around? Because we might get more 'biologically attached''? So what? Can't we still enjoy sex with many people?

TheBigJessie · 11/03/2013 22:43

I remember people claiming it was definitively proven she was quite serious. Her comments to people criticising her work seemed quite genuine to me.

StairsInTheNight · 11/03/2013 23:02

can anyone link to the vile fanfic please! Sounds ace

TheBigJessie · 11/03/2013 23:07

Here's a list of links. First two are humorous articles where someone else has done all the work for me. Grin

www.cracked.com/article_16554_the-5-most-baffling-sex-scenes-in-history-fanfiction.html

www.cracked.com/article_19992_5-fan-fiction-sex-scenes-you-wont-believe-exist.html Includes a disgusting Teletubbies Snape cross-over. Yes, really.

www.fanfiction.net/s/6200297/1/My-Immortal

There's some other brilliantly awful ones, but I don't know whether I'll be able to find them tonight.

TheBigJessie · 11/03/2013 23:07

Here's a list of links. First two are humorous articles where someone else has done all the work for me. grin

www.cracked.com/article_16554_the-5-most-baffling-sex-scenes-in-history-fanfiction.html

www.cracked.com/article_19992_5-fan-fiction-sex-scenes-you-wont-believe-exist.html Includes a disgusting Teletubbies Snape cross-over. Yes, really.

www.fanfiction.net/s/6200297/1/My-Immortal

There's some other brilliantly awful ones, but I don't know whether I'll be able to find them tonight.

Original poster
LoversThatWentWrong · 11/03/2013 23:34

Well if your shocked by your friend then you'd be completely horrified by me...I've lost count!

ARGH!!!!!!!! Can I please bang my head against a wall and scream at peoples inability to read the OP?? Grin

It's got nothing to do with the blinking number! Which I have stated OVER and OVER and OVER.

She could have slept with every man on the planet for all I care. It was the reason she slept with them.

So no I'm not horrified that you have lost count. I frankly couldn't give a flying shit.

OP posts: