to find friends sexual history a bit grim?

[LoversThatWentWrong]

Now I'm not a prude or a "pearl clutcher" but we got onto the subject of how many people we had slept with etc and I found my friends sexual past not shocking, just really grim.

She has slept with 15ish people and couldn't remember half of their names. Nothing wrong with that if you're single and enjoy no strings attached sex but she only slept with most of these men in order to get her numbers up. To boast about how many men shes slept with.

I know other people who slept around a lot in their past but they did it because they were single and enjoyed sex - it wasn't about getting their numbers up at all.

[Writehand]

She said she had a competition going with a friend of who could sleep with more men etc.

Is she very ugly or something? Because most young women could score 365 in a year no problem if they really wanted to. Getting men to sleep with you is hardly difficult.

I'd go so far as to say that a score of 15 in a competition as to who could sleep with the most men is totally pitiful. Unless it was over a two week holiday.

[AnyFucker]

AKINAC, I never got the opportunity

It's been on my mind ever since, what an opportunity I missed out on ...

[Pendeen]

Another here who thinks that 15 is a lot.

[Writehand]

The numbers business depends on the individual's life history. 15 might seem a lot if you settled down early. Some people get married in their teens. But if you were still playing the field from 16 to 35 then 15 would be fewer than one a year.

I still think 15 is a pathetic score if, as she claimed, she was in competition to see how many men she could have sex with. If sex is all you're after, men are mostly not so much 'easy' as downright desperate.

[valiumredhead]

If she did it purely to boast she'd have slept with thousands. 15 is hardly in the realms of Annabel Chong

[Pendeen]

"But if you were still playing the field from 16 to 35 then 15 would be fewer than one a year."

Which is a lot IMO.

[KellyElly]

If a man was posting on here about having a shagging competition with his mate to 'get his numbers up' I can see the responses going a different way

[valiumredhead]

Good grief!

[imnotmymum]

why are you worried OP does she it is "grim".

[nulgirl]

Another poster who thinks that 15 is pitifully low if the friend was actually competing to see how many people she could shag. I've slept with more than that and have been with my husband since I was 23.

That statistic about the average woman sleeping with 4 men her entire life seems to be complete crap as well. Are women lying to make themselves seem "purer" and therefore better or was the survey done pre-contraception when there were serious repercussions to having sex?

[valiumredhead]

4?????????

[ChairmanWow]

Aw this thread's no fun any more

FWIW I don't think it would be reasonable to flame a guy for being in competition if it's just about numbers. If it was a bet to bed a particular woman yes, but just generally tarting around with people you fancy is fine even if there is a bit of a competition to spice things up. Blimey we didn't used to keep tabs but we'd share all the gory details with great glee.

[Wallison]

I actually think it's better to be a bit light-hearted about the dating game with silly competitions etc than to get all hung-up on What Women Should Do.

And I agree that 15 is a woefully low tally if you're trying to beat another person with numbers.

Also, I can't remember the name of everyone I've shagged - why would I? I hardly spend every night crying into my lonely pillow over them.

[ChestyLeRoux]

Agree 15 is hardly that big a number.I definitely dont believe the 4 statistic.

[Writehand]

If the 4 number is an average then I must have stolen a whole street's worth of other women's sex lives! Cheeky grin

I agree with Chairman Wow. This thread's no fun any more. Talking about numbers is a bit pointless. People are so very different. Just as with parenting there are a million ways of having a happy, emotionally satisfying sex life -- and all of them are right.

[Wallison]

Re circus performers - I recently got messaged by one on OKCupid. He describes himself as 'polyamorous' and ran a workshop that my son attended. So I suppose that's my opportunity to take one for the team.

[AnyFucker]

I was joking about tandem guy, btw


I've never met anyone with a tandem, but I bet it would be cool

I was hoping for double points

[MooMooSkit]

15 isn't a lot. :S Baring in mind a lot of people don't get their first serious partner till mid twenties that's def quite normal. I was my other half's first serious girlfriend and he was 24 when i met him. He had his first girlfriend at 15 and he spent most of his teens/20s in 10 month - 1 year relationships so just with proper girlfriends he was already on 10. Then he had a few flings so i think even he is on 20 odd.

You'd hate me then to. Mine is at least double fifteen. If that disgusts you I don't care. I was single and I still had sexual needs, I just didn't want to be tied down to a man. If anyone looked down on me they wouldn't be my friend anyway because of that. Think you need to stop being so judgemental so yeah YABU.

[pinkyredrose]

Lol @ Pendeen thinking that less than one man a year is alot!

[MooMooSkit]

Also 15 for a woman is really low. Woman can get sex off anyone. 80% of men are desperate and will sleep with anyone, regardless whether they find them attractive or not! You can walk into any nightclub and be 20 stones, as long as you have a vagina, you will pull. Even if she's doing it to get her numbers up its none of your business.

[JiminyCricketsMiddleWicket]

Ive only ever had sex with a man that would/could/might father my baby.
No contraception is infallible and it's my criteria. Would you have sex with this man if you were welded to him via a child for the rest of your life ?
As a result I have had zero casual sex. And I don't understand why anyone does.

[pinkyredrose]

jiminy get that stick out of your arse.

[AnyFucker]

Jim,, have you arrived in a time machine from the 1950's,, love?

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Because sex is fun, jim. That's some other people's criterion, you know.

I have slept with five people, which makes me quite pathetic, and it wasn't for want of trying, I'm just hopelessly monogamous and inclined towards getting coupled up. I find it very pleasant and reassuring that there are lots of women out there enjoying all the sex with lots of nice men, that I never managed to get to.