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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find friends sexual history a bit grim?

254 replies

LoversThatWentWrong · 09/03/2013 15:39

Now I'm not a prude or a "pearl clutcher" but we got onto the subject of how many people we had slept with etc and I found my friends sexual past not shocking, just really grim.

She has slept with 15ish people and couldn't remember half of their names. Nothing wrong with that if you're single and enjoy no strings attached sex but she only slept with most of these men in order to get her numbers up. To boast about how many men shes slept with.

I know other people who slept around a lot in their past but they did it because they were single and enjoyed sex - it wasn't about getting their numbers up at all.

OP posts:
Nancy66 · 09/03/2013 15:54

as long as all parties are consenting it doesn't matter.

sex can be something you have in a loving, committed relationship or it can be meaningless, recreational fun...up to the person doing the shagging

BabyRoger · 09/03/2013 15:54

I wouldn't think twice about a conversation like that. She can do what she likes.

Original poster
LoversThatWentWrong · 09/03/2013 15:55

It's all subjective surely, 15 is a lot to me.

Thats the thing though, I'm not judging about the actual figure. I genuinely do not care how many shes slept with.

OP posts:
juneybean · 09/03/2013 15:56

No I know that, it was to the others saying it wasn't that many :)

teatrolley · 09/03/2013 15:56

So?

Ledkr · 09/03/2013 15:57

Yes 15 is very grim indeed she hasn't lived Grin

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 09/03/2013 15:57

Who cares?

Biscuit
Original poster
LoversThatWentWrong · 09/03/2013 15:58

Yes 15 is very grim indeed

Again - not about the number. Could be 15,000,000,000 for all I care.

I find it grim that some people would sleep with someone purely to say they've slept with a certain amount of people.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/03/2013 16:00

I know other people who slept around a lot in their past but they did it because they were single and enjoyed sex - it wasn't about getting their numbers up at all.

It's the fact that she slept with most of them to say that she'd slept with this many. She said she had a competition going with a friend of who could sleep with more men etc.

Well there you go then.

She's still doing it because she's single and she enjoys sex, isn't she?

Otherwise she wouldn't be having a silly competition...

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 09/03/2013 16:00

Yes, we know, OP. Others are saying that they don't care why someone has slept with someone.

Grin Ledkr

LoopDeLoops · 09/03/2013 16:00

Do you have issues with sex?

TapirBackRider · 09/03/2013 16:01

So she had a competition with a friend to see who could sleep with as many guys as possible in a given time?

Meh - from what I can recall of my youth, blokes used to do this quite a lot.

You don't like the reason she did it, fine. That's down to you - you would be unreasonable though to let it affect your friendship with her however.

Tee2072 · 09/03/2013 16:01

It's low self esteem, as I said. The more men who fuck her the more she can convince herself she's worth something and better than her friend.

Sad, really,

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 09/03/2013 16:01

OP You seem to have missed the rest of Ledkr's post, she said that as a joke.

And no, it's not grim it's her body to do with what she pleases.

Original poster
LoversThatWentWrong · 09/03/2013 16:04

Yeah I think you're right Tee

And no I don't have any issues with sex Loop - I just think if you want to have meaningless sex then it should be for the reason that you're doing it to have careless fun.

Not to be proud and feel it somehow makes you better to have slept with x number of people.

OP posts:
MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 09/03/2013 16:04

I find you behaviour (judging her, starting a thread that she would recognise herself from, and more or less slagging her off) a lot worse than grim tbh,

Megatron · 09/03/2013 16:05

But you must have thought the number relevant to include it in your OP? The reasons are her reasons so it doesn't matter to you or anyone else really does it?

BadgersNadgers · 09/03/2013 16:20

OP, YABVU and it's probably time to admit it and back down before people begin to think you're a frothing berserker.

OkayHazel · 09/03/2013 16:20

I think it's none of your bloody business what she does in bed, for whatever reason she may do it.

CandiceMariePratt · 09/03/2013 16:23

I think I may have been your friends competitor. I won by loads.

AmberLeaf · 09/03/2013 16:24

I think saying she did it 'to get my numbers up' sounds like the sort of thing someone might say if they were worried about being judged about having casual sex IMO.

LessMissAbs · 09/03/2013 16:26

She was probably joking about the competition with her friend thing OP. Or perhaps she considers you easily shocked and just said it to shock you. If shes only slept with 15 men in her entire life and isn't in a serious or long term relationship, shes not doing all that well in that competition, is she?

As far as I'm aware, we are not under The Taliban in this country and women aren't normally judged that harshly here for this.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/03/2013 16:27

Yep, I was about to post what amber said - she might well be saying this because she's worried about being judged (or indeed because it's none of your business!).

15 people doesn't sound a huge amount to me (although it's a lot more than I've slept with because I have had a sad, sheltered, and deprived life Grin). Don't most people sleep with a few people they aren't entirely proud to admit to later? So long as it's consensual and safe, IMO it's a natural part of having a sex life.

calypso2008 · 09/03/2013 16:29

I'm not clear - 'about 15ish' yet she had sex with them 'to get her numbers up'

Surely she would know names and numbers? Your post makes no sense.

15? pathetic Wink

IfNotNowThenWhen · 09/03/2013 16:31

Is it possible you are a bit jealous OP? Otherwise, why would you possibly care?

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