Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find friends sexual history a bit grim?

254 replies

LoversThatWentWrong · 09/03/2013 15:39

Now I'm not a prude or a "pearl clutcher" but we got onto the subject of how many people we had slept with etc and I found my friends sexual past not shocking, just really grim.

She has slept with 15ish people and couldn't remember half of their names. Nothing wrong with that if you're single and enjoy no strings attached sex but she only slept with most of these men in order to get her numbers up. To boast about how many men shes slept with.

I know other people who slept around a lot in their past but they did it because they were single and enjoyed sex - it wasn't about getting their numbers up at all.

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 11/03/2013 15:33

Some people like casual sex, some people can only enjoy sex if they feel they are IN A Serious Relationship, some people don't like sex very much and some people get their jollies by obsessing over what other people do...

TheBigJessie · 11/03/2013 15:51

If she only slept with them "to get her numbers up" and yet it's only 15, then she must have also been extremely discerning. Grin

Hardly "grim".

AmberSocks · 11/03/2013 15:53

15 isnt many really,ive slept with betwee 40 and 50,and i didnt know the surames of most of them,and i cant remember all of them now,although i would if someone said remember so and so.

doesnt bother me,doesnt bother my dh.dont really regret it but dont feel proud of it either.

Original poster
LoversThatWentWrong · 11/03/2013 15:55

Yawn. Seriously this thread is still going on?

Firstly I don't care how many people anyone has slept with.

I also don't judge people who enjoy casual sex. Lord knows I used to do that.

I just think that anyone who sleeps with someone for the sole reason for getting their number up quite grim.

I think you should have casual sex with people because you're attracted to them or just want to have fun. Not to say I've slept with X amount of people and think this somehow validates you.

And to whoever said I was jealous. No I'm really not. I've slept with more than 15 but the number is irrelevant.

So yes I was being unreasonable to perhaps judge her for her reasons for doing it.

But I still think it's quite grim for anyone to sleep with someone to boast about their numbers.

OP posts:
IfNotNowThenWhen · 11/03/2013 15:55

" a fella who rode a tandem" sounds like a euphemism for something. But what...?

JiminyCricketsMiddleWicket · 11/03/2013 15:56

No I am not in a time machine" lovey". when I had my threesome I knew that I would be happy to (potentially) conceive with either one.

ChairmanWow · 11/03/2013 16:01

As a result I have had zero casual sex. And I don't understand why anyone does.

So does that mean you were in a relationship in both the participants then? If not then one of them was casual. Was he the one who ripped your judgy pants off with his teeth?

ChairmanWow · 11/03/2013 16:01

both.

Eebahgum · 11/03/2013 16:02

Just catching up on this thread and finding it funny that pendeen thinks one shag a year is a lot. I'd like to think the vast majority of adults have sex more than once a year!

monkeysbignuts · 11/03/2013 16:04

15 is a lot to me too :/

valiumredhead · 11/03/2013 16:08

I am 42, if my first sexual partner was at 20 and I had one once a year from then on that would be 22 partners - hardly a lot!

It's a lot fewer than that but you get my drift!

OkayHazel · 11/03/2013 16:09

How can a threesome be not casual sex? Even if one participant is your partner, the other isn't - thats pretty damn casual!

Unless you're into those weird three way relationships that make great Channel 4 documentaries?

Original poster
LoversThatWentWrong · 11/03/2013 16:10

I find it odd how so many people jumped down my throat calling me so many horrible names - even frothing berserker

When yes it was unreasonable of me to judge her. But thinking about it yes the reason is abit sad or grim if she did it think it somehow validated her. I'd hate for her to think that about herself.

The thing I find odd is that so many people have come on here being extremely judgmental towards other people on this thread and yet they were not called frothing berserkers

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 11/03/2013 16:13

You're all frothing beserkers!

Better? Grin

Original poster
LoversThatWentWrong · 11/03/2013 16:14

Much better valium Grin

OP posts:
Pendeen · 11/03/2013 16:35

Eebahgum and pinkyredrose

Sorry to spoil your amusement but the number was not times but different men.

Quite different.

MrsLouisTheroux · 11/03/2013 16:41

15 is a lot IMO!

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 11/03/2013 16:43

I think they know you meant different men, Pendeen, and they're saying that's not all that much.

valiumredhead · 11/03/2013 16:43

In one day possibly, but over a 30 year period of course it's not!

Who cares anyway, she can shag who she likes!

CookieJarAddict · 11/03/2013 16:44

OP does make a good point. It's ok for people to openly judge others on here and say -

Lol @ Pendeen thinking that less than one man a year is alot!

Finding it funny that pendeen thinks one shag a year is a lot

RedToothBrush · 11/03/2013 16:56

I thought the national average for women was 13 partners.

So at 15. Thats not bad. Only just above standard.

YABU. You ARE a prude and a "pearl clutcher" if you think 15 is a lot. Think about who is making up for your share if you think it is...

TheBigJessie · 11/03/2013 16:58

I'm confused about the average of four or five given earlier in this thread. Some women have more marriages than that!

Original poster
LoversThatWentWrong · 11/03/2013 17:07

YABU. You ARE a prude and a "pearl clutcher" if you think 15 is a lot.

Oh for goodness sake. If you had bothered to read my OP properly or had the ability to understand it then you would see that I never once said that 15 is a lot. AND that it's nothing to do with the number!

I am talking about her reason for sleeping with them - to get her number up. When people shouldn't care about how many people they have been with.

OP posts:
whateveritakes · 11/03/2013 17:23

But you just said I think you should have casual sex with people because you're attracted to them or just want to have fun op

Getting her numbers up was her fun - perhaps she did it to learn something, to say she had experienced different partners.

LST · 11/03/2013 17:37

15 is nothing at all imo