To ask who gets 'priority' on Mother's Day

[Couldonlyhappentome]

In your house who gets 'their day'?

Is it you, your mum or your partners mum?

I am going to be driving around a lot tomorrow between my mum and dp's mum and won't get time on my own with the dc until we get home for their bedtime by which point ill be shattered and dreading work on Monday.

How will your day go?

This year we celebrated Mother's Day with my mum and DH's mum last weekend, with a meal out.

This weekend, me Dh and Dd have been away for the weekend and I received my card and gifts this morning at the hotel.

For me, it's not about 'being important', it's about getting a bonus day off when i dont make all the meals. Whether or not you need a day off will depend on your circumstances.

We are too far from MIL to do a quick visit, DH sent her some flowers and a card and rang her earlier.

My parents are closer but we don't always see them - this year by coincidence they are staying with one of my brothers, so I sent flowers and a card and spoke to her earlier.

I got a lie in, a lovely picture and poem that DS1, 4.7, had done at school, some flowers and chocolates chosen by DS1, and a homemade card from DS1 and DS2 who is only 23 months but wanted to make one and managed to write the first letter of his name
DH is cooking the roast, but he does that most weeks so it is a fairly normal Sunday here.

I can't see the point of making it into a big thing. You can't be everywhere and the more drama you make the more people are going to feel disappointed.

Me! We call our respective parents and sent flowers/pressie but we very rarely see our mum's on Mother's Day. It's just a bit of fun for us though, not a big occasion.

But a few years ago, my FIL texted my DH to tell him to remember that it's Mother's day not Wife's day. I was really upset as I think it was only my first or second Mother's Day and was quite special to me. I was upset that my FIL seemed to think that my Mother's Day was less important than MIL.

About a week before the day we get two phone calls in our house.

Mine, from my mum, is usually all about the usual things we talk about but at some point in it she will say "By the way, don't go wasting your money next week, I don't want anything. What are you doing, do you have plans?"

DH's call, from his parents, goes along the lines of "MIL is very upset this year, she wants this (insert gift request) and wants to know when you are coming to see her and how long you are staying, and can you do this as well, and also wants you to come on this day as well as the other day you planned to come, she's very upset so don't let her down..."

Mother's day for MIL this year also took place on Tuesday and on Saturday as well as today. Tuesday required a four hour visit from DH, Saturday was two and a half hours, today has needed four telephone calls (so far), a delivery of flowers, cards, a present DH was ordered to buy her and a bottle of wine. That's just from us, she has three other adult children, and she's still upset that DH hasn't been to see her today.

Mother's day for my mum involved an hour's visit yesterday, a quick trip to Tesco since we were in the car, a book and card (plus a quick telling off for me because she'd told me not to) and a phone call earlier just to say hello.

I've been quite lucky today, I got a card DS made at school, a box of chocolates and some flowers and DH cooked dinner. Now he's gone to bed for a bit so I'll be doing the washing up. I'd have been happy with just the card, but the rest has been lovely.

I wouldn't say anyone has had 'priority' as such, although MIL has demanded it. all week.

Coffeechocolatewine- what a cheek of your fil!! I hope your dh responded 'yes and as the MOTHER to our child- i feel obliged to offer my appreciation on behalf of what our child cannot express just yet... As i would hope you did for ours a.k.a your wife when we were small' grrr!

Hmmmph, outrageous, I've just had to make my own cup of coffee

DH is watching rugby, DS1 is revising and DS2 is watching football.

I think that it isn't made by hallmark, it goes way back. I think I must be lucky in my family as we all like each other and find it an excuse in our busy lives to schedule a time to get together/ phone/ treat. We all seem to be grateful for whatever and have no expectations. This year is 1st since MinL died. My two kids are both working so haven't seem them or Dgcs. My mum has been busy so haven't seen her for 1st time in years. We have had cards, flowers, txts and phone calls and its all very relaxed.I think its a lovely day to show someone you care. Must be horrendous if there is pressure and demands and reminders of broken relationships.

I think that it isn't made by hallmark, it goes way back. I think I must be lucky in my family as we all like each other and find it an excuse in our busy lives to schedule a time to get together/ phone/ treat. We all seem to be grateful for whatever and have no expectations. This year is 1st since MinL died. My two kids are both working so haven't seem them or Dgcs. My mum has been busy so haven't seen her for 1st time in years. We have had cards, flowers, txts and phone calls and its all very relaxed.I think its a lovely day to show someone you care. Must be horrendous if there is pressure and demands and reminders of broken relationships. Also DD took me out for lunch on Friday.

My mother refuses to acknowledge Mother's Day for several reasons (not going to go into them here). Her opinion is that she'd much rather be surprised by a genuinely heartfelt present/card/phonecall than one that her children feel obliged to get.

Rie, with you all the way on the childless front

People with small children get a lie in and breakfast in bed and a restful day.
mothers of adults / grandmothers get cards and/or flowers - as others have said they can relax any day.

abbyfromoz It was really out of order wasn't it?! I was fuming about it! DH simply wrote back saying that my Mother's Day was equally as important as his mum's and he didn't need reminding about either. I think FIL was just worried because it was the first year that there were no kids living at home and for some reason thought that they'd all forget about Mother's Day and wanted to make sure it was still special. None of them forgot or would forget. It still annoys me though...every Mother's Day I remember what he said.

origins of mothering sunday in the UK

My mum. A quick visit to MIL (before she died) then take my mum to lunch. MIL has a big family and would rather spend it with her DD.

I don't have a partner (so no MIL), no relationship with my mum and DD is only three. I asked one thing of her, that she had to be nice and have no tantrums for the whole day and she did quite well. I invited my mate (who is also a lone parent round) and we had a nice roast (courtesy of M&S, not slaved over by me) and a few glasses of wine while the kids had pizza and watched films. It was lovely . I hope to enjoy breakfast in bed someday though!