To ask who gets 'priority' on Mother's Day

[Couldonlyhappentome]

In your house who gets 'their day'?

Is it you, your mum or your partners mum?

I am going to be driving around a lot tomorrow between my mum and dp's mum and won't get time on my own with the dc until we get home for their bedtime by which point ill be shattered and dreading work on Monday.


How will your day go?

[AllOutOfIdeas]

My dm said once i became a mum that it then became my day as she had had 30 yrs of them with me.

Mil expects the day to revolve around her as she expects at Christmas, dc +dgc s birthdays too. She has yet to realise her grown up children have families of their own and others to think of.

[IloveJudgeJudy]

willesden it isn't a tradition made by card manufacturers. It stems from at least the time when many people were in service and they were allowed a half-day off to visit their mothers.

[goldenlula]

My mum did say to me the other day when I was talking about the plans for the ay not to forget I was a mum too and I should enjoy the day, which I thought was sweet. And every Mothering Sunday my mil send s me a text wishing me a lovely day!

[Corygal]

I think mums who get the work must get the reward. Grandmothers etc did in their time, they can't expect tribal homage for life as other mothers lose out.

[DaffodilsAhoy]

It's MY morning but then we are all going out for lunch with MIL.
My mum is 100s of miles away. I have sent her a present (found two perfect little things I think she will love, thoughtful rather than £££) and card and will call her in the morning to say Happy Mother's day.

I LOVE Mother's day. I do all sort of small insignificant crap chores for my dc and dh all the time, I think it's great that once a year they are reminded (and I am reminded) to say thanks and I know that I am appreciated. I do the same for dh on Father's day and make a huge fuss of dc on their birthdays.

[storynanny]

In my humble opinion, those still doing active mothering should take priority and be a bit spoiled( although I was happy with a card and nothing else ) ie mums/carers of young children. My grown up children send me a card and phone( too far to visit from Far East and USA!) and I send my mum a card and phone her as usual on any other Sunday ( too far to visit )

[pollywollydoodle]

i send my mum a card and the biggest toblerone i can find
my Dh doesn't bother and didn't want me to get anything for his mum either (i think he's a bit mean tbh )
dd always makes me a card and a menu and i choose brekkie in bed ...then we have a normal Sunday

[Ihavetopushthepramalot]

We're having three this year
DMIL and DFIL came up today for some lunch and a drink or three Which was lovely.
Tomorrow I was due to go to my DMs with nan, grandad ect but she's not feeling well so I'm going up to see my nan instead.
Then next Suday I'll hopefully get to see my DM if she's better.
Have brought token presents and cards for all, but have banned my DH from getting me anything. My DD is only 6 months so no homemade cards for me yet!

[pollywollydoodle]

and my dd gets v excited about it....in a way that an adult doesn't

[abbyfromoz]

On days like tomorrow i'm glad its all about me! ME ME ME!!
Mwahahaha
(Mil and dm both live thousands of miles away and celebrate on a different day anyway)

[Strangemagic]

My mum is gone now and so is my lovely MIL, enjoy your time with your mum's.

[nailak]

those who say it is their day to be spoiled, dont you think it is a bit of a cop out on your kids/dhs part? like we will spoil you because we are told we have to on this day, and the rest of the year we wont?

If you are the mother of small kids then in should be standard that your husbands do some of the chores, lets you have a lie in now and again, the kids do nice things for you etc...

[Edlyu]

Mums of small kids should have a day off -or at least a lie in and breakfast in bed made by DH/DP.Maybe dinner out.

Mums of older kids should have breakfast made by DC and a card or small present chosen by the DC.Dinner made by DP/DH

Mums whose kids have grown should be treated appropriately by the DC they helped grow into the people they are. So if they were harridans who made the Dc life a misery then little or nothing should be forthcoming. But if they were normal loving Mums who struggled bringing up Dcs then a nice present or flowers and card isn't asking too much is it?

But ultimately its a made up celebratory day and as such can be anything you want it to be. Create your own day ,ask for, or demand if necessary, the things you want to make your day feel special.

[Edlyu]

Mums of small kids should have a day off -or at least a lie in and breakfast in bed made by DH/DP.Maybe dinner out.

Mums of older kids should have breakfast made by DC and a card or small present chosen by the DC.Dinner made by DP/DH

Mums whose kids have grown should be treated appropriately by the DC they helped grow into the people they are. So if they were harridans who made the Dc life a misery then little or nothing should be forthcoming. But if they were normal loving Mums who struggled bringing up Dcs then a nice present or flowers and card isn't asking too much is it?

But ultimately its a made up celebratory day and as such can be anything you want it to be. Create your own day ,ask for, or demand if necessary, the things you want to make your day feel special.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Do you think because it stems from girls in service getting a day or half a day off to visit their mothers (see Judge Judy post) that it is slightly common ?
It seems to be getting worse by the year !

[Pandemoniaa]

I absolutely agree with cards and flowers for mums of grown-ups but it's mums on duty who need spoiling imo!

Do you honestly think that those of us with grown up children have stopped being on duty then? Have stopped worrying, loving, helping and supporting our beloved children? We might get more sleep nowadays and there may be less physical work involved in motherhood but we are all still on duty since being a mother is a job for life. Not that I'm complaining!

[MidniteScribbler]

No one gets priority. It's a day created by greeting card companies to sell crap by making people feel guilty if they don't.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I don't think there were greeting card companies in the 15th Century, when Mothering Sunday started. I might be wrong...

[MrsHoarder]

Pande you still worry, support, love etc but its a less intense responsibility (I hope) than when you had a small child and a bath in peace was something to be aspired to.

[MoYerBoat]

Oooh there are some princesses on this thread!

"It's MY day, it's all about ME"

Get a grip!

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Moyerboat.

Why does a mother need to get a grip for considering Mothering Sunday to be a special day for herself?

Do all those who take their mums or mils out for a treat need to tell them to get a grip,or is it just mums of young kids who are being all princessy.

That has got to be one of the strangest get a grips I've ever seen.

[Throughgrittedteeth]

I have to work today so DP and DS will take MIL out for lunch then we'll go out for dinner with my mum. Sort of even, although I am supposed to be having a lie-in but obviously I am wide awake.

[Throughgrittedteeth]

And IMO my DM should get priority over everyone because she gives her time for free to watch DS whilst I'm at work and he's at the 'shouting/kick the dog' toddler stage. My DM is a babe

[Emilythornesbff]

I usually spend the day with dm.
Have sent flowers this time as not up to travelling.
Sadly have no mil.

Btw: mother's day is NOT MADE UP BY CARD COMPANIES! It's been part of the Christian calendar for many years and was one of the exceptional times when staff and even captive slaves were given time off to celebrate "mothering Sunday"

I have wistful hopes for a small bunch of daffodils in a jam jar.