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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask who gets 'priority' on Mother's Day

166 replies

Couldonlyhappentome · 09/03/2013 14:13

In your house who gets 'their day'?

Is it you, your mum or your partners mum?

I am going to be driving around a lot tomorrow between my mum and dp's mum and won't get time on my own with the dc until we get home for their bedtime by which point ill be shattered and dreading work on Monday.

How will your day go?

OP posts:
WoTmania · 09/03/2013 15:48

Me. I'm my children's mother. DH doesn't have much of a relationship with his mum in any case so we don't see her and usually end up going over to my folks' on mother's day itself and having a meal with g'parents, parents and DBs.

WoTmania · 09/03/2013 15:49

I must admit that I don't really 'get' grown ups making a big fuss about mothers/fathers day...

IShallCallYouSquishy · 09/03/2013 15:54

My first Mother's Day so it's all me, me, ME! Luckily my mum is more than ok with me not going to see her this year, and will be coming up to see me and baby on Monday. MIL isn't in the picture really so don't have to worry about her.

If it wasn't for the breast feeding I'd be making DH do everything tomorrow!

LahleeMooloo · 09/03/2013 15:58

Well my mum is dead and I don't have a partner so I guess it's me!

JugglingFromHereToThere · 09/03/2013 16:01

That's very good of you to take your Mum and Dad to visit their mother's graves Euphemia, but I do feel sorry for you and your DD's too really.

Maybe it could be time for everyone to gently move on a generation or two ?!

Couldn't you and your DD's all go out for lunch with your parents or something like that, and leave the grave visiting for another day ?

I think it should be mainly a day for children to give a card and maybe some flowers to their mothers, possibly to pop a card in the post too for the older generation (which I have done but I'm not sure it will arrive in time for Sunday)

But like many of these sort of days it's showing signs of getting seriously out of hand !

Basically I'm with Snob in first post, basically we don't make a big deal of it.
DD actually brought me up pancakes with chocolate and banana's for breakfast in bed todaywith a nice cuppa Brew and said it was for Mother's day. I think it's the first time she's made me a cuppa. So, that was lovely Smile

moogalicious · 09/03/2013 16:04

My mum and mil get priority. I'm doing sunday dinner - it's the least I can do considering all the free child care they give me.

Bunbaker · 09/03/2013 16:05

"I'm going for a picnic. Outside. In early March."

Hmm We have snow forecast for tomorrow.

OH forgot Mothering Sunday when it was my first one, even though he had helped me get something for his mum! The penny didn't drop that I was a mother as well. He doesn't remember things like that or birthdays. He has actually told me that these things just don't seem to register in his consciousness and he wants to be reminded.

Horsemad · 09/03/2013 16:09

I get priority here.

My mum lives miles away and I send flowers. My MIL lives in the same road but DH will go and see her on his own.

I don't like breakfast in bed but will insist that all meals are prepared by someone other than me Grin
Apart from that, it's a normal day here.

EnjoyResponsibly · 09/03/2013 16:12

Me.

parabelle · 09/03/2013 16:15

Not me, I'm having to go into work (NHS). DH is cooking a lovely roast dinner when I get home though which will cheer me up.

INeverSaidThat · 09/03/2013 16:31

I wold say the older Mums but the best thing is if everyone has a special day together.

I don't like Mother's Day that much. My DCs give me a hand made card or a call and that's about it. I give my Mum a call and we go out when I see her.

All very low key and nooe cares or gets in a mood about not being prioritised.

I am really Confused about wives expecting their DH's to treat them though.

Milliways · 09/03/2013 16:32

Both Mums come to us on Mothers Day. They get a meal cooked for them and a bunch of flowers. Luckily they get on with each other. DD is now married and away this weekend, but DS can make me a cuppa :)

Floralnomad · 09/03/2013 16:35

I'm not that bothered about it and nor is my mum so we are going to the garden centre with my sister and my daughter . My husband is having dinner at his mums .

neverputasockinatoaster · 09/03/2013 16:36

Not me!

Actually no one really - we don't 'do' Mother's Day. We tend to stick to it being called Mothering Sunday.

I know the children have made cards at school for me because DS thought his lunch box would be a good place to hide it........ He obviously thinks the lunchbox pixies make his packed lunch! Grin

I know DH and his siblings send flowers to his mum between them. My mum has categorically forbidden me to send her anything - she does every year just in case I've forgotten how she feels. I did once think she might not really mean it, sent a card and she got ever so cross!

MrsEricBana · 09/03/2013 16:40

We are having a family day out with my mum and I have arranged card and flowers and I think all levels of mum should be recognised on the day but in all honesty I think it's the on active duty mums that need the pampering though I don't have high hopes. Hope I am wrong!

VisualiseAHorse · 09/03/2013 17:01

Hopefully me :) My first Mother's Day this year, we've both sent cards to our own mums, and there's one with 'to mummy' sitting on the mantelpiece.

ByTheWay1 · 09/03/2013 17:03

Great-Gran gets the biggest fuss - well she is 102!! then gran1 and gran2 - in their 80's, MIL, and mum in their 60's then me.... but that is just as it should be!! we live long in the ByTheWay dynasty!!!

I'm cooking.... makes it interesting with all the likes and dislikes - and the jokes that this year it will do-in great gran..... but having 5 generations under one roof every year - just for a few days is absolutely priceless.. and my girls know how lucky they are to be a part of it.. would have to be very "precious" to make it about me.....

JugglingFromHereToThere · 09/03/2013 17:23

That sounds lovely ByTheWay - great that you all get on so well, and 5 generations is quite something Smile Though really Great-gran is Great-great Gran from your DD's POV isn't she !

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 09/03/2013 17:28

When did Mother's Day become so mad? Confused

Mrsrobertduvall · 09/03/2013 17:33

Totally agree Ariel.
Mothers Day is becoming the new Christmas Day.

It will have its own topic soon.

I will be spending it on my own ie not with dh and dcs. They are all doing their own thing.

seriouscakeeater · 09/03/2013 17:33

Me!! after recent years over trying to people please, I pick what i want to do and if MIL/DM want to come they can tag along!

Horsemad · 09/03/2013 17:38

I remember reading a report once that said most mums when asked said they'd prefer a day to themselves for their ideal MD present!!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 09/03/2013 17:44

Thta's so true Horsemad My mum's dead and DH's mum lives too far away to visit. My best ever mother's day was when DH bought me a book I'd been hankering after (expensive and we were skint). He bought chocs from the tiny DSs (3 of them) and then he looked after them all day so I could read and stuff my face in complete peace

T'was bliss

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 09/03/2013 17:44

I wouldn't normally describe my mother as sane and well adjusted, but I'm SO glad she's sensible about Mother's Day. She'd be completely baffled if we started buying loads of things and doing loads of things!

JingleMum · 09/03/2013 17:45

My mum is away for the weekend (went for dinner with her yesterday & took her card/gift) MIL has just been to our house & collected her card, flowers are being delivered to her tomorrow and DP is taking her for dinner on Monday (I'll be in work til 9.30pm) so hopefully tomorrow I will take priority.

Thing is, DP didn't write my name on MIL's card, should he have? She has just kissed me & thanked me for the card (she hadn't opened it) feel awful!