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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask who gets 'priority' on Mother's Day

166 replies

Couldonlyhappentome · 09/03/2013 14:13

In your house who gets 'their day'?

Is it you, your mum or your partners mum?

I am going to be driving around a lot tomorrow between my mum and dp's mum and won't get time on my own with the dc until we get home for their bedtime by which point ill be shattered and dreading work on Monday.

How will your day go?

OP posts:

Saltire · 09/03/2013 14:37

ME . Both our mums livetoo far away so they get flowers delivered and a card (see my thread yesterday about MIL flowers),

RubyrooUK · 09/03/2013 14:38

We try and portion out the Mother's Day love a bit.

Normally we don't see my mum or MIL as they live too far away so we send (hopefully thoughtful) gifts and Skype. DH gives me a present from DS and then it's a normal Sunday, pretty much. Nice but no pressure to be the best family day ever.

This year my mum is here so we are having a nice meal tomorrow night. I've got her a few gifts already.

I'm pretty amazed my mum and MIL survived the horrors of me and DH as children so always like to make an effort with them both.

HollyBerryBush · 09/03/2013 14:39

No wonder there are a lot of lonely old people out there. No one has time for them any more

I hope they spend all your inheritance on a toy boy

AmericasTorturedBrow · 09/03/2013 14:40

We now live abroad so my mum has had presents and cards sent to her and I'll call her via Skype. No idea if DH has done anything for his mum (I've refused to take on that responsibility!) and he definitely hasn't thought of doing anything for me. He's been suck the last few days but generally he's a bit shit - all I want is a card and some flowers!

Where we are Mothers Day is a different time of year, but on my birthday so he prob won't remember it's MD as well and I want my MD today so I get two "celebrations"

Changes every year though - my favorite was my first ever MD, my parents and DB and the 3 of us went for champagne lunch, it was lovely

Startail · 09/03/2013 14:45

Tomorrow everyone except me and that's fine.
DD1 is singing, DH has vital work to do and DD2 has a project she 'forgot' to sort out.

My mum's just texted to say she's got her flowers and DMIL is quietly in our thoughts .

I'm not bothered at all and am deliberately not reminding people it is Mothersday, because they don't need another job.

KobayashiMaru · 09/03/2013 14:45

don't you get time alone with your DC everyday?

I don't get all these posts about who is getting their day and arguments about who is going where with who. Does it really matter? Surely its how your family treats you every day that is more important?

I'm sure I'll get lovingly made lukewarm tea and cold toast in bed with handmade cards and maybe a sprig of daffs before we head off to MIL's. It's the thought that counts, isn't it?

TheWildOnes · 09/03/2013 14:53

I shall be visiting ny mum and grandmas grave in the morning, then taking the DCs to indoor play, then FIL is cooking us lunch and we will pay a quick visit to my step mother in the afternoon.

Not sure which part of the day will be about me, but at least I won't have to cook.

AThingInYourLife · 09/03/2013 14:55

DH - he's away for the weekend with his friends.

He always seems to end up having a nice time on Mothering Sunday.

The first year when DD1 was a baby I brought her to the park and DH had a lie in.

It was eerie - there were no women (except me).

Took me a while to figure out what was going on.

My first guess was zombies that only ate lady brains.

piprabbit · 09/03/2013 14:55

I get a lie in and meals cooked, but we also fit in visits to both my mum and MIL.

I refuse point blank to do Brownies Church Parade to celebrate Mothering Sunday - getting up at the crack of dawn to go sit in a cold church with a bunch of strangers while our DDs sit with their packs. Not going to happen.

PinkBottleGreenBottle · 09/03/2013 14:57

We don't make a huge deal of it here. We have no huge duties to perform as my elderly Mum hates any sort of fuss and MIL thinks it's all a capitalist plot. So I'll drive Mum to church, give her a small gift from me and the dds, and then drop her home. One of my dds was conspicuously "up to something" yesterday so I think I'm getting some form of handmade delight. But if I'm feeling lazy I might use MD as an excuse to order takeaway for dinner .

piprabbit · 09/03/2013 15:00

I do however know of one woman who insisted, in a Violet Elizabeth Bott sort of way, that her grown-up sons, DILs, GCs etc. takie her out for an expensive lunch every year. She is the matriarch, Mother's Day is a day for her and bugger anyone else connected with the family who might also be a mother.

I'm not sure that being surrounded by seething and resentful people is the best way to feel good about yourself - but it worked for her.

PureQuintessence · 09/03/2013 15:01

"My gorgeous amazing mum gets the royal treatment tomorrow and I love it!
Everyone comes to me so Im cooking, db will be cake so everyones happy."

I wish I had a sibling who would turn himself into a cake.

popcornpaws · 09/03/2013 15:04

Bit mixed here too, go for lunch with my mum sister and daughter whilst Dh visits his mum.
Afternoon will consist of chocs and movies with Dd.
Mil lives a fair bit away so no i wouldn't spend my day visiting her.

Bunbaker · 09/03/2013 15:09

Me!

My mum died years ago and OH's mum lives too far away for a quick visit. So we post something to her, and this year OH and DD are doing lunch. OH has often been away for Mothering Sunday so it makes a nice change to have him here for once.

merrymouse · 09/03/2013 15:11

ME!

It's a break from parental responsibility for the day. My mum and MIL, being retired with no children at home, can have a lie in any day.

If DH weren't at home, I would still plan a day that revolved around me. (My choice of food, my choice of film with children, my choice of activity for day.)

Equally, Father's Day revolves around DH.

Sugarice · 09/03/2013 15:14

I don't celebrate it, a normal Sunday but I have bought a stupendous piece of beef for our roast, can't wait for that!

nailak · 09/03/2013 15:14

My mum, I don't get it, why wouldn't you want to celebrate mothers day with your mum? Maybe you've become a mother but that doesn't mean your mum has suddenly stopped becoming one!

tumbletumble · 09/03/2013 15:15

I'll get cards from the DC, my mum and MIL get cards from me and DH.

It's not a massive deal in either family.

flatmum · 09/03/2013 15:16

You know what? This year I have out my foot down and it's me. I work fulltime and have small children and am knackered. My mother has grown up children, is retired, lazes around all day and has had years of being taken out on mothers days and any other day she requires. My MIL has her husband waiting on her hand and foot and is also retired.

I have completely ignored any attempts to get me to do anything involving ten tomorow (have sent cards and flowers/presents) and will spend it with MY children and going out for a nice tea with MY immediate family.

HeathRobinson · 09/03/2013 15:16

nailak - I suppose it depends on your relationship with your mum, as much as anything. Mine's getting a card and no visit.

thegreylady · 09/03/2013 15:22

My mum is dead as is my mil.
Tomorrow dd will have breakfast in bed courtesy of her dh and dc and then we[dh and I] have been invited for a meal which will be cooked by ds-i-l.I'm not sure what they will do about his mum.Mothers day is usually for her as it often comes close to my birthday but this year they are 10 days apart.I know they are going away with mil and family next weekend.

Dillydollydaydream · 09/03/2013 15:26

We see both mothers on Mother's Day.
I'll hopefully have a nice breakfast then get ready to go to see my mum before she goes to dbs for lunch at 12, then on to see mil for the afternoon.

phlebas · 09/03/2013 15:40

we don't make a big deal out of it. If there's nothing else going on we might visit one set of parents or the other or not. DH sent his mum a card & I gave mine some hand cream when I saw her yesterday. We're not planning on doing anything, dh is working 14 hour days & we're both exhausted.

PinkBottleGreenBottle · 09/03/2013 15:41

nailak - in my case, it's because (as well as hating fuss) my Mum insists that it's the mother on active service who should get the treats. I plan to be the same when I'm older, especially when/if my dds have children. For me it's all about home-made pictures, extra cuddles and a haphazardly-prepared breakfast. Once they're adults I really won't want the whole bouquet/choccie/card/lunch shennanigans, any more than my Mum does now.

onyx72 · 09/03/2013 15:45

I'm going for a picnic. Outside. In early March.

Not my idea.

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