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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister is being ridiculous and nasty

131 replies

frillyflower · 09/03/2013 14:12

My sister is a very difficult woman and prone to over dramaticising and exaggerating and I keep a (fragile) peace by being very conciliatory and passive (bit scared of her).

Last night I got in from work (2 hour commute), started cooking dinner, DH got in (had had v stressful day and bad traffic home). Just sat down to eat when phone rang. DH said to our son to answer but say we are just having dinner and will phone whoever back after.

Son came to table said 'was auntie Frilly I told her you would phone her back'. I phoned her back straight away and she said she had never been so upset in her life, it was totally unacceptable to tell anyone you were too busy to speak on the phone. She then said we had raised our son to be a snob and that she now hates him. She then said she was so upset her legs had given way and she had fallen to the floor.

I tried to calm her down but she slammed the phone down on me and now won't talk to me.

DH and DS are just bemused. DS is not a snob by the way and is very polite and has always been lovely to her.

DH says to laugh it off but I am upset now. I hate being on non speakers with anyone. What would you do?

OP posts:
SoldeInvierno · 09/03/2013 14:15

I would ignore her. I have no time for that sort of drama.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 09/03/2013 14:15

I would leave her to it, can't be arsed with that nonsense.

WhoPaintedTheLion · 09/03/2013 14:16

Erm..? Really?

If this is true, in all seriousness does she have mental health problems?

Dawndonna · 09/03/2013 14:16

For heaven's sake, what a drama queen. She needs to either pull herself together or get a grip. As for you, do you really need someone like this in your life. She put the 'phone down, you're a bit scared of her. Brilliant, she's not speaking to you, peace and quiet!

TallyGrenshall · 09/03/2013 14:17

Ignore, ignore, ignore

You may hate 'being on a non speaker' but really, why on earth would you want to put up with this sort of shit?

ENormaSnob · 09/03/2013 14:17

I would piss myself laughing tbh.

Pathetic.

Don't feed the drama.

DioneTheDiabolist · 09/03/2013 14:17

Leave her to it.
Or phone and apologise for raising such a little snob.
Or phone and tell her to get whatever professional help she needs to deal with the fact that she is not entitled to a 24hour emergency helpline staffed by you.

Rosa · 09/03/2013 14:18

Tell her to stop acting like a 5 year old and grow up..... Or just ignore her....

TidyDancer · 09/03/2013 14:18

If that's accurate (and it sounds very much like it has a creative slant on it, so I'm cynical tbh), then she's barking.

ArbitraryUsername · 09/03/2013 14:18

Just ignore her and store it up in the 'my unhinged sister' box of stories in your mind.

ScentedNappyHag · 09/03/2013 14:18

She said she hates your son? Shock and that she collapsed in the floor because you couldn't come to the phone?
Ignore and avoid!!!!

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 09/03/2013 14:19

I would ignore her behaviour. We haven't seen DH's sister for 3 years due to similar. She continues to do it to the rest of the family, but we refuse to get dragged into it, much to her annoyance.

exexpat · 09/03/2013 14:19

I think I'd be grateful that someone so melodramatic wasn't speaking to me.

ENormaSnob · 09/03/2013 14:19

On a serious note I wouldn't be wanting to speak to her again full stop.

I wouldn't want her in my life or my sons tbh.

ElkiesBrook · 09/03/2013 14:19

what they all said

did you sister ever get round to telling you what was so urgent? thought not

CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/03/2013 14:20

Overgrown toddler! So treat her like one - ignore! No pandering, pussy-footing etc. Enjoy the peace, till SHE rings YOU.

Original poster
frillyflower · 09/03/2013 14:22

Yes she sort of has mh problems in that she has tried to commit suicide before many years ago and she cannot stand anyone not doing what she says. She gets furious if anyone in the family knows more about whatever's going on than her for example.

Hard to explain. She's a massive diva. We all tiptoe around her because we can't bear the fallings out (apart from DH who mainly ignores her).

OP posts:
idiuntno57 · 09/03/2013 14:23

she sounds a complete fruit cake. We often call people back if in the middle of eating/kids etc.

ignore

ExitPursuedByABear · 09/03/2013 14:23

What did she want to talk to you about?

I would have laughed long and hard (in fact, I just have).

She sounds like a total loon.

ArbitraryUsername · 09/03/2013 14:24

You're probably not doing her MH any good by pandering to her all the time. Or your own for that matter.

SanityClause · 09/03/2013 14:24

We never answer the phone if we are eating. I find it really rude for someone to leave the people they are eating with to have a conversation with someone else.(Obviously there are exceptions to this......)

Anyhoo, your sister knows what you are like - that you avoid conflict - so she is using that to upset you, and get her own way.

So, don't let her win. Just go on doing what you would normally do, as if she was speaking to you.she will no doubt come up with another ploy soon, and you will have to deal with that when it arises.

livinginwonderland · 09/03/2013 14:25

i wouldn't want anything to do with anyone as nasty and manipulative as that, sister or not!

LtEveDallas · 09/03/2013 14:25

Can anyone say DramaLlama ?

Grin
tabulahrasa · 09/03/2013 14:26

I know it's bad and especially after you saying that she has MH issues, but I am actually giggling at the thought of somebody collapsing to the ground because you're too busy to come to the phone...

bamboozled · 09/03/2013 14:26

Oh I love that line Dione
I'm going to use it on my sister who expects just that!
It's such a pain in the arse having a needy sister with no boundaries, it's the only thing my husband and I really argue about.
Are you the older sister Frilly - it's very hard to step out of our established childhood roles of being the one who looks after the little sister.. Even though I'm 41!
She'll get over it, when she needs something else fom you...
There's only one thing you need- boundaries!