in thinking that I need to be a bit wary of this woman, regarding my DH.

[Megatron]

Firstly, I need to say that I am not some jealous haridan that thinks everyone is after my man. I will explain a few recent things that have happened and perhaps you good people will give an opinion if my spidey sense is tingling with good reason.

DH and I been together 15 years, 2 children, v happy, no concerns there. We live in a small village and there are normally various social events every month, some of which we attend some we don't. There's been quite a lot on since Christmas, nothing fancy, a lot of them with the children etc but we have been out more than usual recently.

Anyway, at a New Year bash one of the women who often attends these things with her husband was all over DH like a rash (let's call her Rachel). DH slightly mortified, put it down to too much booze and kept moving away from her (she followed) and rested her hand on his backside whilst standing with him. He moved back to where I was, put his arm around my waist and she went back to talk to her DH. I only know any of this because DH told me. A couple of the other women I know said 'oh it looks like Rachel has her sights set on Mr Mega now' and told me that this is now uncommon and that she has 'form' (their words).

To be honest I didn't think too much of it as it all seemed a bit silly, but since then Rachel has made a real effort to befriend me. She very glamorous, high powered career, pots of money and 'used to getting what she wants' according to her. We are poles apart and have very little in common so I have not actively encouraged anything more than passing the time of day. In the last three weeks she has:

Asked when I would be in so she could pop in and borrow a DVD box set. Then came on the only night I said I would NOT be there, went into the kitchen and started to make herself a cup of tea until DH said that he was expecting a mate round, so she left.

Sent DH a filthy text message (which he showed me) then immediately sent another one saying 'Oops, was meant for Y (her DH), wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea'. Apparently she got his work mobile no from Linked In. Not sure why she would look him up.

Sent him an underwear photo the following day, followed by another 'Oops' then made great pains to come and tell me that it was absolutely an accident. Incidentally their names do not begin with the same initial so would not be next to each other on her phone list.

Last night, at a very casual drinks thing at local cricket club, told him she's been dreaming about him. Again, followed him around like a puppy until he eventually planted himself beside me again which we seldom do, we're normall talking to different people. She then said to me 'Oh Mega ha ha, you must think I'm after your husband ha ha ha'. Er well, actually I do.

DH knows I am posting this btw and says she makes him feel uncomfortable. I am pretty chilled about most things but I think this has to stop now.

So dear reader, this has been longer than I anticipated what do you think?

Sounds like she's deliberately being obvious and making sure you know about it.

She must get her kicks like that and part of the thrill is to upset "the wife", so I'd say the best strategy is for you both to laugh it off and make her feel ridiculous.

She sounds quite mad but your husband sounds great and it seems like you have a great relationship.Good luck and tell the" bitch troll from hell" to f off.

Joking outside, it sounds pretty creepy. If a man sent unwanted sexual photos to a woman, and put his hands on her backside, it would quite rightly be seen as inappropriate and possibly harassment, and it sounds like that's these here.

I think he should make sure the texts she has sent him have been stored safely, in case this turns nasty and your DH has to prove that all the unwanted attention came from her.

It might be worth him considering sending her a message that tells her to stop sending him sexually suggestive photos and messages ,if he receives any more he will consider it harassment. I can see that it's awkward though.

Well, she's clearly an attention-seeking stirrer, and a bully. She's behaving like a lot of entitled men behave and probably enjoying the fact that she's making you and your H uncomfortable - keep pushing someone's boundaries while going 'Oh hahah only a joke' is straightforward bullying. It's undoubtedly tempting to take the piss out of her mercilessly in public, but that would probably prolong the drama she's after. I suggest your H sends her a text message or an email along the lines of 'Rachel, I doubt you mean any harm but your behaviour is making me uncomfortable, please leave me alone.' And if she carries on, a quiet word with the local non-emergency police about harassment might be worth considering.

Should say 'that's the case here ' .

What a crazy lady! Not surprised your annoyed, I'd be fuming!

Think your DH should definitely tell her to back off with you present, so she can't try and turn it around on him or anything. I feel sorry for her husband too, poor man!

That's she's "glamorous and high-powered career and used to getting what she wants" screams MAJOR PERSONALITY DISORDER to me.

Obviously, you are no over-reacting. And, your marriage seems quite safe. I think your husband should be blunt with her and then you two should ignore her completely.

I'm afraid if she was doing those things to my dh she'd be hiding from me cos Id not appreciate her disrespecting my family in that way.

Can you drop in conversation that your DH thinks she might need to see a doctors as she is obviously stressed to keep sending your DH texts and pics meant for her DH by mistake. Make aware that you know about the texts and in future tell her dates you won't be at home but you actually will.

Love FW's suggestion

If psycho man stalker was a man he'd have his name on a register.

I think she sounds ill as well. I can understand her thinking she's a maneater, looking for an affair and putting the odd feeler out but this is the sort of stuff you read about in papers. She should have got the hint by now that your DH is not interested.

I would take this seriously and have a word with the police as well and I would consider asking my solicitor to write her a letter. Is her DH really unaware about all this?

Hahaha what a freak.

You don't need to worry. There's nothing more unattractive to a man than a weirdo who constantly follows him around and stalks him. Even if your dh was the player type, and it sounds like he's not, she would probably put him right off!

Obviously it's a bit embarrassing for you and dh. He should probably come right out with it and tell her to leave him alone, preferably in front of others. Don't worry about hurting her feelings, people like this have a hide like a rhino and you have to be quite harsh to get them to pay attention.

I think first your DH needs to say to her in a friendly but firm way (considering she sounds slightly unhinged and you live nearby):

"Ah Rachel, actually I was going to ask you to delete my number. My boss was there when I got your last couple of texts and it was hugely embarrassing. I certainly don't want my colleagues thinking I am cheating on my wife and I wouldn't want anyone thinking you'd do that to your husband. If you ever need me, just text Mrs Mega - I'm sure you have her number. Thanks for being so understanding."

Goddamn, loads of better ideas came up while I typed my post.

I would talk to the couple of women who said she had "form" for this sort of behaviour and ask them what he should do, mentioning the suggestions you're considering from here. That way, you've got a bit of real life backup if she tries to manipulate the situation. I think, in situations like this, it's great to get suggestions from here, but you need to get real life support, too.

Also, they might know what worked last time!

You don't do anything. He does. He tells her that he is not interested, and please stop because it's embarrassing for both of them. Sorted.

"good lord Rachel, you do realise you are becoming a bit of a standing joke in the village as a cow-eyed crazy man stalker?

"Maybe use some of that sexual energy on your poor DH - a lot of us pity the poor bastard. Its a pretty shabby way to humiliate and disrespect him."

I know a man who has behaved like this within our circle of friends. Ignoring it didn't work and my friend had to say in no uncertain terms that the suggestive texts and flirting behaviour made her uncomfortable. She was told she'd got the wrong end of the stick and it was a joke and playful banter. We all knew otherwise including my friend's husband.

This is unlikely to go away unless it's made clear it's unwelcome. They just become less subtle until it's impossible to ignore.

I think your DH needs to do it rather than you though otherwise she'll find another way to get her point across thinking she needs to circumnavigate you. My friend's text in the end was "you're making me uncomfortable and this is now beyond a joke - delete my number and don't text me again". The reply was "it's just banter" - but she's never been contacted again or "hilariously" asked to visit the loos for a quicky when out at dinner.

Your poor dh,how awful for him. She's sexually harrising him. Might I surgest he sends this text message.

If you continue harrising me especially in a sexual way I will go to the police.

Yes, so what notactually said.

Or he should email her or saying 'please delete my number from your phone. I am not sure why you even have it or think you nee it, but these very intimate 'accidental' texts and photos have to stop - it is embarrassing and inappropriate, and difficult to explain to my wife and whilst she has been very understanding up until now her patience is wearing thin. I am fond of your husband and I would hate this situation to become unpleasant and for him to misunderstand what is going on here. I would also appreciate it if you did not call at my house when you know mega will not be there. Thank you.'