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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I'm probably being entitled/unreasonable, but should the teacher wait on my child?

999 replies

WhenIsBedtime · 06/03/2013 09:59

My child has high functioning autism. Attends a mainstream school. Her issues are very mild. No need for an assistant or anything.

The way it works in the school yard each morning is this:

Bell goes at 9am.
All children run to their class marks and line up.
Class teachers come out, and guide them into the building, starting with the youngest to the oldest class.

My child is in the youngest class.

Perhaps once or twice a week, we're a few minutes late. The bell has already gone and her class has lined up by the time we reach the yard. However, we're never so late that her class has already gone inside by the time we arrive. We can always see them.

The entrance gate is at the other end of the huge yard from where the children line up.

On our late days, as we arrive at the gate, the teacher has already came out. He can see my dd running towards the line, but he decides to take the class inside anyway, without waiting on her.

By the time my (very slow) daughter reaches the place her class lines up, they are already inside the building, and the other classes are going inside.

My daughter then gets really upset as she doesn't understand it's okay to go through the door without her own teacher or class. She doesn't understand she should just run ahead of the next class going in, or even join their line instead. Parents aren't normally allowed in the yard. But when this happens, i run in to her and try and convince her to go into the building. But she says "No, I'm waiting on Mr Teacher and my class."

The teacher from an older class then takes her inside for me instead.

I realise such upset/confusion for my child wouldn't happen if i was there with her before 9am every day, but lateness does happen. And other children usually run into the yard up to five minutes late, behind us, but they quite happily join on the back of another class's line. Whereas my daughter won't without a heck of a lot of protest and causing a scene.

Personally (and here's where i'm probably being unreasonable), I think dd's teacher should wait on her if he sees dd running towards him and her class in the yard. It takes no more than a minute for her to run across the yard from the gate.

Obviously, if we weren't at the gate by the time he came out to greet the class, or if we were very late, i wouldn't expect him to wait. But when he can see dd at the other end of the yard, why can't he just wait? Thus avoiding her getting upset and confused?

I've spoken to him about it before, and he says that because his class is the youngest, and goes inside first, if he was to wait, it would delay all the other classes, and it would mean he'd have to occupy his own class for an additional minute.

Just wanted to add, that the children never have to wait outside in adverse weather conditions. They're able to go straight into the building on these days, rather than line up outside and wait on a teacher.

I just don't get why he can't wait an extra minute on dd, yet it's okay for him to be several minutes late on occassion, leaving his class waiting outside, holding up the other classes.

Sorry for the ramble. I'm probably just being precious/unreasonable, but i'd appreciate some opinions.

OP posts:
idshagphilspencer · 07/03/2013 21:10

poo head
you gotta love mumsnet
:)

yellowbrickrd · 07/03/2013 21:11

'only another 130 odd posts before this thread maxes out'.

Or you could just leave this pile of bile to die of it's own accord. I've no idea what people think they are achieving here attacking every new person that posts.

Hopefully the OP has reached some conclusion about the situation about 20 pages ago and gone to another board to discuss these issues. No one is helping her by dragging this shit on and on.

Bobyan · 07/03/2013 21:12

Shall I restart the tread I did last night, just to complete the groundhog day feeling?

waltermittymissus · 07/03/2013 21:27

I've no idea what people think they are achieving here attacking every new person that posts.

Are we reading different threads?

Because all I'm seeing is a bunch of twats not bothering to actually read the thread before throwing around cunty comments!

boardergirl · 07/03/2013 21:27

OP I just had to add a message of support.

I hate the school run half the time and find it super stressful and my children don't have SEN they're just awkward at times! So I think you are doing a fab job just getting to school every day-ignore the idiots on here and in RL who have no idea how difficult things can be.

I have to agree with a previous poster who suggested you might want to consider a change of school if possible. Schools should be kind and flexible and want to make your DD's start of the day as easy as possible. I know that this is how my children's school would be and you should expect the same.

Good luck!

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 07/03/2013 21:34

My first ever deletion, and it was for calling someone poohead Grin

mumat39 · 07/03/2013 21:40

Callthemidwife, I can't believe your post got deleted. I thought it was very insightful. I hope OP did have a chance to read it before it was deleted. I actually can't believe it was. I feel all confused and dizzy that mnhq have done this. Mnhq, why??? There are so many truly horrible posts on here but you have deleted one that was actually really useful and hopefully helpful to the OP?

I am very confused!

akaemmafrost · 07/03/2013 21:41

"Pile of bile".

It just isn't. There is so much support on here and a fair few have said that they understand so much more about SN and HFA after reading this thread. That a great thing.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/03/2013 21:53

Sneezecakes - the OP already gets up at 5.30am!! As you would know if you had read the bloody thread!

And you are about the fiftieth person to come up with the amazing insight that the OP should just get up earlier, without having read the thread. Now can you see why people are so frustrated?

HelpOneAnother · 07/03/2013 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumat39 · 07/03/2013 21:55

MNHQ, hello

I was wondering if there is a way of posts being checked before they are posted so that if a particular word is used that isn't 'allowed' that the poster could be notified so they could change it to a more acceptable one? I have posted on other forums before where this kind of check takes place. It would mean that the poster would be allowed to make a small change rather than have their whole post deleted. Just a thought. Thanks.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/03/2013 21:57

Actually, that post is pretty relevant to yellowbrickrd, too. The reason people are getting frustrated is that too many people are reading just the OP, and then saying things which are way too simplistic, or that have already been addressed by the thread and by whenisitbedtime.

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 07/03/2013 21:57

"Sorry but you will have to get up earlier or be a bit more organised being late on a weekly basis is unacceptable from all sides. "
That's very interesting. had you considered that being a total fuckwit is also pretty unacceptable too? "From all sides" (whatever that is supposed to mean)

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/03/2013 21:58

The thing is, mumat, the word cunt isn't banned - as long as you aren't using it as a personal attack on someone, so that sort of filter wouldn't work.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 07/03/2013 21:59

I believe we're due another 'get up earlier' any minute now.

HelpOneAnother · 07/03/2013 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

idshagphilspencer · 07/03/2013 22:01

Maybe op you could get up earlier

idshagphilspencer · 07/03/2013 22:01

kidding :)

StuntGirl · 07/03/2013 22:02

pelvic Grin

HelpOneAnother · 07/03/2013 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumat39 · 07/03/2013 22:03

All these people who say ' I only read the OP' are making me angry.

Whenisitbedtime, in her OP, stated a lot of facts including her DD's HFA, the detail of how it affects her DD when she sees her teacher go even though he know she's trying to run across the playground as fast as she can, and that she was only wondering if he could wait for her to catch up, no more than a minute if that. She still got horrible responses! It's no excuse to say I just read the OP. in fact that is a total cop out when in fact an apology is what's needed!

idshagphilspencer · 07/03/2013 22:04

ooh help you are a poohead
(( awaits deletion ))

mumat39 · 07/03/2013 22:04

STDG, it's not a word I use o can even bring myself to type so assumed it was a 'bad' word. Silly me!

almostanotherday · 07/03/2013 22:06

I keep forgetting you can actually use the word cunt on here Smile

makes note to use the c word more often

mumat39 · 07/03/2013 22:07

And, if I was the teacher and I could see a little girl running across the playground trying to catch up, and it meant a 30 second delay, I would wait! His attitude reminds me of many a nasty bus driver who would drive off just as someone who had been running for a bus who he had seen got to the door. The teacher just seems unkind!

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