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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think having a photo of your child as your Facebook profile photo is sad?

154 replies

TateForViolet · 02/03/2013 19:57

I mean a photo of just your child/children without you in it too.

I absolutely love being a mum, and I love my children more than I could ever say but I still have an identity - I'm not just a mother.

OP posts:
Offcolour · 03/03/2013 12:16

mrsdevere this guy is so ridiculous I couldn't be bothered to argue, I just commented that he should de-friend me or hide my feed if my kids offended him, he wasn't obliged to look at them. He was banging on about people posting pics of babies whilst CONSTANTLY updating Facebook every five minutes with all sorts of drivel. Literally every five minutes there's some cryptic remark, new dj mix, rant about work or pictures of his bike/other people's bikes/pictures of cats. Everyone was laughing at his total lack of awareness of how stupid he was making himself look with his tirades against parents. I'm stepping away from the friendship now wondering why we were friends in the first place

RememberingMyPFEs · 03/03/2013 12:23

YABU. firstly for being annoyed by it and secondly for thinking your FB profile pics defines your identity.
HTH

MomaP · 03/03/2013 12:29

YABVVVVVU.
I don't use my facebook to define who I am. I merely have it to post pictures of DS for his grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends who are all over 260 miles away. I don't have anything in the 'about me' section, because everyone on my page knows me personally. My son has always been my profile picture, that isn't going to change - its a social networking site, for goodness sake! Angry

HiggsBoson · 03/03/2013 13:00

Haha - I've thought this for ages, but wouldn't have started an AIBU thread on here about it, unless I wanted anew arsehole ripped.

gordyslovesheep · 03/03/2013 13:14

2

Hulababy · 03/03/2013 13:39

Trill - I make my fb unsearchable do they'd have that issue anyway. So irrelevant for me. And if not hidden then I don't want past clients, ie ex prisoners or even ex pupils, finding me that way either.

Many people just don't identify themselves via FB photos; to Me most people don't take it that serious.

Besides if it really is the Big identity thing - what does that say about those with the whole duck pout going on???

SamuelWestsMistress · 03/03/2013 13:53

I think it's a sadder situation to be someone who actually gives a fuck about what other people chose as a photo on a social networking sight.

pumpkinsweetie · 03/03/2013 13:59

Yabu-i do wonder why some people choose to go on it....

LittleEdie · 03/03/2013 14:00

I want everyone to admire how beautiful my DD is. Grin

FlouncingMintyy · 03/03/2013 14:05

So where is op, hmmm?

She only joined the site yesterday! You'd think she'd make more of an effort with practically her first goady thread Grin

nailak · 03/03/2013 14:56

isnt this devaluing womens roles as a mother? I mean if someone has a pic of their hobby/work/travels etc then it is seen as ok but not if it is a pic of their kids?

as defining yourself by that sunny beach, or the mountain bike, or puppy, or whatever is ok but seeing yourself as a mother and your children being a major part of your identity is sad?

but we are mothers. For most of us our children are a major part of how we identify and define ourselves. WHat is wrong with this? what is wrong as seing the major interest in our lives being our kids? why is this wrong or sad for women who do this?

Lockedout434 · 03/03/2013 16:06

My dd are lovely than I ever was

TraineeBabyCatcher · 03/03/2013 16:08

Mines a picture of a biscuit, is that okay? It's far prettier than I.

expatinscotland · 03/03/2013 16:18

I have a photo of my daughter. Always will. She died when she was 9.

YABU.

mumandboys123 · 03/03/2013 16:45

another teacher!

I personally think it's 'sad' that people can't think beyond the obvious and feel the need to judge.

Nanny0gg · 03/03/2013 16:48

Is it okay if they're your DGCs rather than your DCs?
I'm usually the one behind the camera and I also loathe having my photo taken.
And my DGCs are adorable...

5madthings · 03/03/2013 17:11

Its fine nanny assuming their larents are fine with it. My sil.has pics of my children as her profile pic with a comment such as 'my boys' which annoys me as they ars my children and she has never asked me if its ok to put their pics online and her security settings are non existent.

I dont care what pics people have as their profile tbh.

Nanny0gg · 03/03/2013 17:13

Oh yes, 5madthings. I do have permission.

MurderOfGoths · 03/03/2013 17:36

I never ever understand the whole "my identity is more than just a mother" when referring to FB photos. Don't know about anyone else but my identity is
a) not defined by a solitary photo
b) not defined by a social network

TheMaskedHorror · 03/03/2013 17:53

Mines a random picture of penguins.
I must be lacking in my identity even as a human Sad

lockets · 03/03/2013 17:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Andcake · 03/03/2013 18:07

Must admit agree with op and in my 'infertile days' it just felt smug 'look I can procreate' I am happier with penguin pictures it tells me something more interesting about the person!

andubelievedthat · 03/03/2013 18:46

Ha ha," i am on facebook , i do not wan"t anyone to find me " (from a teacher ffs!)Doh !

MrsDeVere · 03/03/2013 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMaskedHorror · 03/03/2013 19:42

It actually doesn't tell people anything.
My pic of penguins is only there because my sister had a go at me and said it was very dull looking at the fb default 'no pic' pic and why didn't I put any random pic up.
I just found some penguins because I'd just sat through Happy Feet.

I have a life. I work pt, I have lovely friends and family. I have social life. I just don't care about Facebook.