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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

659 replies

StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 14:57

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 05/02/2013 22:03

I was getting myself confused so just wanted to know

fluffyraggies · 05/02/2013 22:05

Stretching the truth

over and over and over and over and over and over and over ..........

StillSlightlyCrumpled · 05/02/2013 22:05

I'm in two minds with this. On the one hand I am confused as DS2 has been an inpatient many, many times and I have never been told DS3 could not be there too. I've had a travel cot up before so he could have a sleep during the day or they would find a buggy for him.

On the other hand the atmosphere in day surgery wards is entirely different. It is very fast moving and if you are called you go immediately or you could miss the slot. For me on surgery days (and he has had many) I want to be able to focus solely on DS2. I have always gone down to theatre with him too and they are very strict there, even DH has to wait in the theatre waiting room. That has been standard procedure at the different hospitals we have been in with him.

Part of me still thinks though that one baby having a breast feed isn't worth the nurse even questioning it however.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 22:06

Anyway, I'm off to bed because ds feeds every couple of hours or less during the night and it is much later than I often go to bed

(though feel free to find a thread where I posted at 1am to imply that I am lying)

night all........

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 05/02/2013 22:07

It's kicking up an entitled fuss like this that gets people irritated with breastfeeding and breastfeeders.

Yes, I BF, but I really, really don't want people thinking I believe myself permitted rights over and above others as a result. Because I'm not and I don't.

YWBU, OP. Really, you were.

birdsnotbees · 05/02/2013 22:10

Really don't get why people are being so horrible - and bullying - to the OP. Some of the things that have been said to her are really nasty.

FWIW when my DD was 7mo she wouldn't eat ANYTHING (I tried and tried), she only drank EBM (she rejected any bottles from 7wks old and again I tried and tried), she refused bottles, cups, anything that basically wasn't my boob. It was a bloody nightmare and I hated it and I had to do it until she was 18mo - so not all bf babies at 7mo are capable of taking a bottle, drinking with a cup or eating a thing. Just because YOUR bf baby wasn't like the OPs doesn't mean she is lying.

And whoever said you can't drink while bf.... er - yes you can!

birdsnotbees · 05/02/2013 22:12

Oh, and if I'd left my DD when she was hungry - well, she was a screamer (still is) and would not only have distressed everyone else there, but would have distracted me too, no end. I can't concentrate on a thing when she's kicking off. I wish to god I had had an easy, pliable, patient baby but not all of them come like that (my DS, on the other hand...).

OP: YWNBU

PrettyKitty1986 · 05/02/2013 22:15

Personally, if I was on a ward with one of my children, I couldn't give a rats left one about your personal circumstances...I do not want a 7 month old screaming and causing a fuss. Yabu to think your and your baby's rights override other people's purely because you bf. 7 months is old enough to distract for 10 minutes with a snack or toy...they won't come to any harm waiting. They don't need to bd on the ward.
You are not only bu but completely selfish. Be a grown up and make other arrangements next time.

Monntagchild · 05/02/2013 22:16

I don't class a thread you started a few days ago surrounding the same situation as an ' old thread' Confused

You asked WIBU? - well yes you were. When that was pointed out many times hours ago you could've simply stated that you'd had a very stressful day, were just glad DS's op went well & undoubtedly everyone would've said 'there, there' & that would've been the end of that.
Instead you, by your own admission, freely continue to post 'inconsistencies'
embellishments

birdsnotbees · 05/02/2013 22:17

But the baby wasn't making a fuss - it was feeding and left as soon as it had finished (with the aunt). And she wasn't 10 mins, she was an hour and a half.

lurkerspeaks · 05/02/2013 22:17

birdsnotbees I am well aware that some 7mos won't take anything other than breast milk from the breast.

However, do you not think that the OPs other posts boasting about her 7mo consuming not one but three Ella's kitchen sachets AFTER he had had some other solids smacks ever so slightly of hypocrisy and totally undermines her argument.

I too am going to bed now.

5madthings · 05/02/2013 22:18

Yanbu very bizarre policy. Ours recommends no sibling BUT makes allowances for bfed and 'babies in arms' have had to take littler ones numerous times including for pre op and minor day surgery etc and just not been a problem.

I notice how the NHS ward manages who says the op is nbu is ignored.

And to the poster who commented that the op shouldn't drink because she is bfeeding, that is crap you can still drink alcohol whilst bfeeding.

5madthings · 05/02/2013 22:20

monntagdrinking wine or other alcohol even if a baby is ebf is fine.

birdsnotbees · 05/02/2013 22:22

Lurker She said that wasn't her bf baby but one of her other kids. But whatevs, seems that the OP can't say or do anything right - there's a whole load of people shouting her down saying she's BU not listening to what THEY have to say, but I don't really see many people even trying to see if from her point of view. Which is what I was trying to do, as having a nightmare 7mo is something I sadly have a lot of experience of.

Monntagchild · 05/02/2013 22:26

Sorry, drinking alcohol whilst Bf'ing is not something I or any of my friends have ever done, didn't realise it was fine so stand corrected Blush

birdsnotbees · 05/02/2013 22:28

After bf-ing for 18 sodding months (can you tell I didn't want to), I think I would have gone mad had I not been able to have the odd tipple... Grin

PolkadotCircus · 05/02/2013 22:29

Mon it may be fine to some but I refused to ever do it,ditto caffeine or even paracetamol.

5madthings · 05/02/2013 22:29

Well its best not to get blade red! Grin but yes you can still drink whilst you bfeed. There is some info on the time the alcohol takes to get out if your blood stream and it used to be recommended that you 'pump and dump' your milk, but that is not necessary :)

5madthings · 05/02/2013 22:32

Well that's your choice polka and I was careful with caffeine but there is evidence to show some alcohol is fine and paracetamol and many prescription drugs etc. I bfed for over nine years, I would have gone insane if I couldn't have the odd drink, plus meds for eczema and also pnd.

JulieMumsnet · 05/02/2013 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

mrsbunnylove · 05/02/2013 22:37

5madthings: Yanbu very bizarre policy. Ours recommends no sibling BUT makes allowances for bfed and 'babies in arms' have had to take littler ones numerous times including for pre op and minor day surgery etc and just not been a problem. I notice how the NHS ward manages who says the op is nbu is ignored.
agreeing.

mn pack mentalityin evidence here tonight.

ChestyNut · 05/02/2013 22:37

5mad I think it's the OPs tone and title "flouting the rules"
That has got some people's backs up.

Maybe it is something that needs to be addressed in the unit but OP could have approached staff pre the occasion instead of "flouting the rules"

mrsbunnylove · 05/02/2013 22:38

'mentality in'. with a gap. i blame my right thumb.

McNewPants2013 · 05/02/2013 22:41

Pmsl at MN deleting its own post for breaking talk guidelines

birdsnotbees · 05/02/2013 22:41

Polka - each to their own, though I always followed guidelines. Safety first and all that. Paracetamol is fine during pregnancy, when it can cross the placenta, so not really an issue. Mind you, I had no choice: I had a condition that my GP described as "exquisitely painful" (it was) and had to reject the nuclear-strength painkillers he wanted to give me on the grounds that I was bf-ing. Paracetamol came a very poor second... but were better than nothing, particularly when I couldn't sleep for the pain.

mrsbunny agree - it's all been rather nasty, feel for the OP.