Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

659 replies

StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 14:57

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

OP posts:
DizzyZebra · 05/02/2013 15:29

Yabu sorry.

I wasn't allowed in for certain things with DD when she had her op as I was pregnant. Thems the rules.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:29

Well, frustrated frosty nurse had no choice but to let me in with baby, and, as it happens once she realised that baby couldn't be noticed by anyone, didn't take up any space, didn't make a sound and was gone in no time at all (I popped out to the waiting room to finish the feed properly once ds was in theatre), she warmed up and we had a bit of a laugh with her.

But I honestly don't know what I could have done differently, except perhaps not mis-timed when ds woke for his morning feed.

OP posts:
Pobblewhohasnotoes · 05/02/2013 15:30

YABU

You can't hold up a theatre list because your baby needs a feed. Yes the op would have been cancelled. Theatre runs on a schedule I'm afraid.

A lot of hospitals aren't allowing visitors due to norovirus. Also, we can't be responsible for siblings. We allow siblings on the ward, they cant stay overnight though. I would have made your aunt look after the baby while you took your DS for his operation.

Grommets is quick op. once they're eating and drinking they're allowed home, if it's a simple day case.

BigSilky · 05/02/2013 15:30

True, but if space is already limited on the ward and every child on the ward's mother brings in her baby, things will be even worse, no? I personally don't believe it is so specific that the rules should be bent.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:31

So I was supposed to have left screaming hungry distressed ds in the waiting room with my aunt? Really?

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:31

There was NO mention of norovirus. The REASON given was SPACE.

OP posts:
BigSilky · 05/02/2013 15:32

The thought of bringing a screaming distressed baby into a children's surgery ward isn't a particularly good one either.

nefertarii · 05/02/2013 15:33

ok op clearly you don't think you were unreasonable. So why did you posts in aibu?

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:33

Pobble, yes, but my ds NEEDED a feed. The op part was quick, but the hanging around wasn't. We were there from 7:45 am. How would anyone else be responsible for him when he was latched onto the breast?

OP posts:
nickelbabe · 05/02/2013 15:34

I think you weren't.

these rules are not made for breastfeeding babies, they are made to stop loud children getting in the way.

You should have fought your corner. complain higher if necessary.

crashdoll · 05/02/2013 15:34

YABU because if everyone flouted that rule, then it would be chaos.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:34

He would have only been distressed if he had left my arms and therefore realised that the feed was not going to be forthcoming. He was silent, as are most bfing babies. He was out once he'd finished.

OP posts:
brettgirl2 · 05/02/2013 15:35

But then if it's a children's surgery ward there would be babies there anyway?! Who is saying he was screaming and distressed?

DizzyZebra · 05/02/2013 15:35

It won't be just space though. They probably just don't have time to go into the various reasons. As you are proving yourself, reasons such as distraction would be met with 'but my baby....' infection - 'but there's no outbreaks' 'but if I'm there the risk is the same as I'll be in contact with baby'.

I don't even go to speech therapy because ds would be a distraction. I certainly wouldn't take him on a ward.

sarahtigh · 05/02/2013 15:36

yes it would not in these circumstances have done baby any harm to cry for a few minutes while DS had GA started and you signed consent forms, while generally I support EBF babies everywhere there are some places it is not suitable and theatres are one of them

nickelbabe · 05/02/2013 15:36

and by the way other posters who have said ?yabu - no, the letters are not law.

my letter for DD's hip displacia scan said "bring a bottle of milk or juice for your baby" and she was about 4 weeks old so EBF
I didn't take a bottle, and rang them beforehand to tell them so.

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2013 15:37

Aunt offered to go to the ward in my place with ds, but nurse not happy because she couldn't sign hte consent forms.

Why didn't you sign the consent forms in the waiting room whilst BFing, instead of in the ward?

That way your Aunt could have sat with your DS and everyone's happy.

crashdoll · 05/02/2013 15:38

OP - AIBU?
Most of MN - Yes
OP - No I am not because of X, Y, Z.

Pointless exercise.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:39

I think some posters on this thread aren't understanding that you cannot just NOT feed a breastfeeding baby when he needs a feed.

For those who think he shouldn't be allowed to feed in a ward, what do you proposed happens?

How is a bf baby on the outside any different from a pregnant woman with a baby on the inside?

He just fed. Then he left.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:39

crashdoll, most of MN are not saying YABU. It is mixed. You are biased.

OP posts:
DizzyZebra · 05/02/2013 15:40

Nickel - that's hardly comparable.

BigSilky · 05/02/2013 15:40

Starlight herself said that her baby was 'screaming hungry distressed' in her post at 15:31:09. Of course there would be other children there, why should you disturb them by bringing more in?

Silence isn't the primary issue here anyway, but how can you be so sure he would have stopped crying immediately?

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 15:41

'Why didn't you sign the consent forms in the waiting room whilst BFing, instead of in the ward?'

I have no idea. Except that first we had a visit from the anaethetist, then the nurse wanted to do weighing and questions, then later some doctor came around with a form, and then later another doctor. I expect they weren't all prepared to walk that extra bit to the waiting room, and even if they were, I doubt the NHS communication system would have enabled this to happen.

But I would have been happy with that as a proposed solution, if it had been proposed.

OP posts:
crashdoll · 05/02/2013 15:42

The majority are disagreeing with and you don't think YABU, so why ask?!

nickelbabe · 05/02/2013 15:44

Dizzy - yes it is.

i was showing that the letters aren't that important.

If I had rung and they'd said "no, your baby has to have a bottle because of x,y,z, i would have said "either i feed my baby properly or we'll have to postpone.

my point is that babies can't wait.
babies have to be fed when they need to be fed.
if i'd left DD at 7 months in a waiting room after starting a feed and not finishing it (and left her behind) she would have gone absolutely apeshit and probably cried herself into a fucking fit.

Swipe left for the next trending thread