for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

[Uppermid]

Maybe you didn't Martha but others have admitted they did

[MarthasHarbour]

I am afraid i disagree uppermid it is nothing to do with who star 'is'. (she has made me giggle on a recent thread so i have no beef with her - i didnt know who she 'was' before that). I know (and have seen) that any poster who had revealed themselves as not being completely open about the situation to make a point would have been called on. It is defensive to suggest otherwise.

[Uppermid]

Of course Staffordshire is in a different league, I said that at the time. I used it to illustrate that the NHS isn't perfect, there are many examples I could have used but that was the first that came to mind as its what's happening in the news now, apologies if that has offended.

The op hasn't written to complain about the nurse but to comment on their supposed baby friendly policy, in order to help future mums and babies.

Totally agree this is a non issue, my problem with this thread has been the attitude shown to star based on who she is rather than the initial query. If anyone else had posted this, they would have received support.

[MarthasHarbour]

put bliddy DS nicking my phone!

Anyway I agree with crumpled, this was a non issue in the grand scheme of things. If the baby was indeed ebf then there was room for discussion, but not a patient complaint.

And if we insist on bringing Staffordshire into it, well that should put it into perspective, that is a different league altogether.

[MarthasHarbour]

Eloquently pu crumpled

[StillSlightlyCrumpled]

In all fairness we don't known what scene greeted the nurse. The waiting rooms on daycase are very busy. She probably took in the feeding baby, buggy, changing bag etc and was met with the OP' insistence at taking the baby through and thought 'here we go again, someone else who wants to change the rules.' When it was explained star was able to take the baby and all was well. I really don't think it warrants a phone call, email or a letter but it is the OP' right to do so if she wishes.

As a parent I have always gone into the anaesthetic room whilst my son is put to sleep. I've never gone into the theatre as he is already under GA. Not in a million years would I expect to take a bf baby into there. Highly, highly sterile area. The nurse probably thought that the OP was planning to have the baby with her the whole time but just needed it explaining.

As an aside, we have had cause to make two very serious complaints to the NHS regarding our child. I wouldn't find the op' complaint comparable in the slightest. Hers isn't a sign of a failing NHS (like the Stafford report) but of a patients representative that hadn't called ahead to confirm taking the baby was ok.

A proper storm in a teacup!

[Uppermid]

I never said the situations were the same, (but why let facts get in the way of you twisting things to your advantage) I used it as an example to say whilst the NHS is great its no where near perfect and the original nurse in the instance was wrong for all the reasons set out several times by star and several others who bothered to actually read the post and not set out to prove star a liar

[Uppermid]

My god, you're still prattling on about this? What's your agenda here with start? Any other poster would not have had the same flaming about this. You see it all time with slightly different circumstances. Just because your baby would have been happy with a set of keys or rice cake doesn't mean stars baby would have been.

And yes I bought Staffordshire into this. When someone starts waxing lyrical about how wonderful the NHS is, lets look at the reality shall we, its not always so great.

I am very grateful with we have a NHS in the uk, very grateful. Many of its staff are wonderful and do a great job day in day out for not a lot of money, however like in any section of society you get a few that are utter shit, downright incompetent or maybe, just maybe are human and have a bad day and be a bit grumpy with someone when there is no need to, ooh like the original nurse.

Maybe the baby could have been placated for 10 mins by this wonderful set of keys and rice cake, however it wasn't 10 minutes was it, it was an hour and a half, so bloody good job she did feed him straight away. It's all very well asking how long will I be needed here, often the person you're asking wont know.

A hungry baby was fed at no disruption to anyone else. End of, I don't see why there is still a problem here

[IneedAsockamnesty]

It was not a suggestion at all its rather odd that you took it as one, given that your assertion that because your baby has baby rice that means the op's baby who has not used baby rice to start weaning but actual food must therefore be at a later stage of weaning.

[AudrinaAdare]

DS didn't take bottles or cups for a year and having woken up in an unfamiliar and scary environment would certainly want the comfort of BF so it would have been hard for me. That whole time was a pain on the arse for both of us. I had to take him with elder DC to hospital and he got swine flu

[PolkadotCircus]

Then Audrina you take some ebm in a cup,not hard.

[AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree]

Ok. For what it's worth this is what I would have done in the OP's situation:

A. Called ahead to get some more exact info of how the appointment would work, regardless of how it worked last time and explained my dilemma.

B. Asked how long the Doctor needed to see me when he needed me to leave my baby in the waiting room with my Aunt. I am assuming he/she would have said "Ten minutes at the most unless you need to discuss anything."

C. Unlatched the baby and handed she/he to my Aunt.

D. Asked Aunt to take baby outside so as not to disturb other people.

D. Returned to BF baby in 10 minutes time/after appointment.

E. Thanked the staff and my Aunt.

Seriously. 'Starve', 'abandon'....how dramatic. We don't always get what we want in life and that also applies to babies who want milk RIGHT NOW.

[AudrinaAdare]

My DS would have screamed the place down even at a year old if I had started to BF and stopped, especially after waking from a nap and being thirsty. I get very thirsty if I have a nap in the day and usually put the kettle on and have a large glass of water while I am waiting.

What I do not want is a fucking rice cake when I have just woken up and my throat is dry. Seriously, how can people say that the baby should have been happy with that when they wouldn't dream of doing it themselves?

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Chunderella

You do know that baby rice is not much used these days as its a waste of time and has no nutritional value at all. Weaning advice these days tends to be totally skip the baby rice stage and start at about 6 months with actual food with some point to it.

Taking that into account its perfectly possible to think a baby who is just starting out with tastes or small amounts of actual food is still at the very first start of the weaning stages so in essence at the same stage as a simerler aged child whose being started off on baby rice.

[Permanentlyexhausted]

Not the only one Polkadot. Mine might have been slightly disgruntled at having a feed interupted but they wouldn't have been inconsolable.

[BigBoobiedBertha]

My children are obviously as unique as the OP's then. They wouldn't have been placated by anything else but milk as their first proper feed of the day which they had only just started but had taken out of their mouths after the first couple of sucks. It is completely different from handing a hungry fussy baby to somebody else to look after for a while, one that hadn't started feeding. Then you might stand a chance of giving something else as a stop gap.

Chunderella - do you really think there is that much difference between 6.5mths and 7mths, that your DD will change that much in a fortnight? Weaning is a marathon not a sprint. You have a bit to learn I think. Come back in a couple of weeks, and when you do, try giving your DD her first proper feed of the day, whip it away from her after 2 sucks and see if she is placated by a frigging rice cake.

And this is why I don't like breastfeeding experts - they think they know it all because they have been on a course. Every baby is different as is every mother - they all do things differently but perhaps they didn't teach you that on your course.