for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

Bout, There was little space. I didn't take my buggy because the letter stated there was little space. Each bed was in its own alcove. I had a baby on my lap. I was no less mobile than anybody else. No-one would need to get past me except to get to ds who was either sitting beside me or playing across the ward corridoor with the lego.

Omg people. It's about space not infections. How many more times!!!!

I didn't know that it would be a problem beforehand. I certainly hadn't got the infant feeding specialists email at that point and if I had and had emailed her, I doubt hugely that the message would have got to day surgery, where I only found out my ds was going to go, on the day.

Before you get your knickers in a twist, at the last hospital, children didn't go to 'day surgery' they went to 'lime ward', and I was in 'children's ward', and I have no general idea about how hospitals work so tend to just go and do as I'm told, which I believe I did to the best of my ability this time.

DD1 went to theatre weekly for months on end and there were siblings in the waiting area nearly every time.

If she was neutropaenic they just took her through the back and bypassed the waiting area and she went into theatre.

But they do operate to a strict schedule and she was bumped a few times and/or did the bumping.

I didn't know that it would be a problem beforehand

Yes you did because you had a letter stating the issue. You should have contacted them at that point and explained the issue.

nef
your children are obviously older then
as since 2001 nhs guidelines state that you shouldn't START weaning until 26 weeks.
and even then you should treat the next 6 months as fun, not food. ie learning what food is, learning textures and the mechanics of eating.

Blanket rules are made because nursing staff do not have the time or head sapce to make case by case assessments as to what constitues a good enough reason to be allowed an exemption.

It is completely unreasonable to expect nursing staff to do this.

There could be a hundred reasons why a parent feels their case is the special exception: a single parent who has no other child care, a parent with a child with SN who is frightened with anyone else etc etc.

If every parent who felt that their case was exceptional simply ignored the no sibling rule the ward would soon become crowded, noisy and unhygenic.

The letter stated no siblings, not no siblings in the hospital grounds. Baby was never meant to come into the ward.

But you did take the baby onto the ward which you knew was against the rules. You should have sorted things beforehand.

The rule was no siblings. It said so in the letter. You knew that. If that was a problem for you why did you not ring up and say so. Instead of just ignoring the rules on the day. It doesn't matter why the rule was in place, it was. And if you feel so strongly that it was unfair then you should write to the hospital trust though I imagine they have a lot more things to worry about than this trivial stuff.

As usual, someone asks if they are BU. Majority of posters say yes, YABU. OP spends rest of thread explaining why they are right and majority are wrong.

Move along, please, there's nothing to see here....

It wasn't supposed to be a problem. I made arrangements so it would not be so.

The plan went wrong.

As you did take him on ward and fed him,the operation went well and you were discharged early,what have you got to complain about???
This is why i hate my job sometimes.Nothing we do is ever right for some people.

I don't think it's 'trivial' at all. A good NHS manager release on patient feedback to improve the service - I do.

I don't think it's unreasonable for a BFing mother to think that a EBF baby should be subject to reasonable adjustments.

A fuller explanation of the unit'sprocedures and what would happen on the day would have helped.

A woman with six children makes arrangements for them to be looked after while her eldest has an opperation.

The arrangments fall apart. The plan went wrong. It wasn't menat to happen. Is she unreasonable to take her six children onto the hospital ward?

the hospital was being ridiculous. a mother and breastfed baby are a single unit.

And you didnt 'make arrangements' with the very people it might be a problem to.
There in lies the problem
Anyway,hope the gromets work.

Ah, so your plan went wrong, the nurse wasn't to blame and the ward policy seemed reasonable when you found out about it. Unfortunately your baby dictated that you wouldn't abide by the rules but the staff were good enough to let it slide so you could make the best of a difficult situation. I do like a happy ending.

No Georgina we will never make every patient or relative happy but if you ever have any complaints training, you will know that the vast majority of complaints arise from poor communication and staff attitude, both of which appear to be lacking in the situation the OP describes.

'A fuller explanation of the unit'sprocedures and what would happen on the day would have helped.'

Yes. That would have been enormously helpful, not just for the baby thing but because has autism and needs to have an idea about what will happen (as well as being 6 which I think generally means he needs to have an idea about what will happen).

Instead we just planned to be as flexible as we could, to allow for as much time as we could, just in case. The plan was not to be a bother to anyone. No special requests, requirements, no phoning people and getting anxious that the message gets through. (None of the staff knew about ds' autism, so key information quite clearly doesn't get through, let alone the logistics of bfing babies).

However, the baby needed feeding at the time that the nurse wanted us to go through to the ward to register us, so I took baby who had just started his feed, in order to finish it and free me up for the rest.

Sorry haven't read all 13 pages but couldn't the baby just this once have had an expressed bottle/cup of milk?

I personally would have left the baby at home with Aunt and snacks/ expressed milk, then you could have focussed properly on your son undergoing the operation.

I also don't get all the posters saying you can't schedule feeds with a bf baby? Huh? I did and managed to bf dd for a year thanks.

So YABU (of course)

No thebay, I have not complained about the nurse. I have asked the infant feeding coordinator what account has been taken of breastfed babies when communicating their sibling policy to day surgery patients, and explained the situation I found myself in.

I appear to have lost the ability to read, where does it say that the OP has complained?