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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

659 replies

StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 14:57

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

OP posts:
trio38 · 05/02/2013 19:56

How do you get your older DC to school? Is he/she regularly late because you're baby needs a feed? Are you regularly late to collect?

A 7 month baby, regardless of how it's fed, can wait 10 minutes for a feed. Even if it's extremely cross for those 10 minutes. YABU.

Sirzy · 05/02/2013 19:57

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SauvignonBlanche · 05/02/2013 19:57

Why is nobody reading the OP's posts and just making random assumptions, I don't get it? Confused

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:58

Sirzy. Hardly anything at all. Just about 3 lots of A4 sheets, that came at random intervals with the first an hour and a half earlier than the last.

Are you asking for any reason? informational? supportive? bullying?

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 19:58

There was no-body there to ask.

OP posts:
DizzyZebra · 05/02/2013 19:59

An hour and a half for forms is bollocks.

An hour and a half seeing the different people you listed earlier yes, but then you could have gone in, saw first one and then come and fed ds before second one comes.

Sorry for appalling grammar, I hate my tablet and cba to speak properly on it.

Uppermid · 05/02/2013 19:59

Op you are being very patient!

Some posters are not going to accept that the rules were re save not infection, no matter how many times you repeat them. Some seem hell bent on telling you what the rule is there for, even though they don't know which hospital!

They also seem to ignite the fact that you and the nurse got on after the initial grump. Maybe she was having a bad morning and you bore the brunt of it, I don't know, I wasn't there.

Anyway, all turned out fine, you sound completely reasonable to me, not at all entitled. Hope your ds recovers quickly.

Sirzy · 05/02/2013 19:59

I was asking because you seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill. After the first form and nobody was there couldn't you have gone out then and finished the feed?

When you took him in you didn't know how long it was all going to take. Somebody came for you then could you not have asked them?

Uppermid · 05/02/2013 19:59

Arghh ignore not ignite!!

MrsDeVere · 05/02/2013 20:00

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DizzyZebra · 05/02/2013 20:00

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Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 20:01

trio, my older child goes by special needs taxi.

Again, are you looking for information to be supportive, to help, or are you going to jump on the bullying irrelvant argument just to win, bandwagon and side track the thread with random questions?>

Or will you be like a previous poster and suggest that I've now drip fed that my son has SN in order to get a sympathy vote?

OP posts:
Boutdesouffle · 05/02/2013 20:01

The OPs post at 16:06:50 states
"DS has times when he NEEDs bm, but other times when he can have water/rice cake."
She later changes her mind that he has absolutely NO other fluids and only plays with a rice cake because not enough people were agreeing that exceptions should be have been made for her.

MoominmammasHandbag · 05/02/2013 20:02

I am quite surprised to read this thread. When DS, then aged 2, was admitted to hospital with a chest infection, the nurses were quite happy for DH to bring DD, then about 5 months, on to the ward to be fed at regular intervals. DS was otherwise getting distressed if I tried to leave him.
This was 17 years ago. Shocking that things have gone backwards since then.

DizzyZebra · 05/02/2013 20:03

It doesn't really matter why the rule is there. Its a rule and it is quite frankly strange bordering on neurotic to be upset about it. ost of us just deal with things like this.

I can't take my son who is mostly bfed and eats very little everywhere, it distracts dd. I don't go hysterical.

TheSecondComing · 05/02/2013 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GeorginaWorsley · 05/02/2013 20:07

So you emailed your 'thoughts' after the event but couldn't be bothered to do so beforehand????

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 20:08

'An hour and a half for forms is bollocks.'

Not really. I thought it was quite efficient based on prior experience.

'An hour and a half seeing the different people you listed earlier yes, but then you could have gone in, saw first one and then come and fed ds before second one comes.'

Yes. If there was any way of knowing that there was even going to be a second person. I hadn't a clue what was going on. Person came to get us, got huffy, left us to it. People came and went but it looked like ward was in a kind of corridoor. Asked one person where the toilets are and they clearly felt it wasn't their job to tell me, though did. They weren't rude, just appeared very busy and annoyed at the interruption.

So I sat in the ward, with ds, wondering what was going to happen next, not daring to leave the ward in case somebody needed to find us. Every now and then someone would appear with a form. Eventually a nurse came and told us that we were next and that we had been bumped up, so presumably, even if she had known what was going to happen it could have changed anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 20:08

Yes, as a distraction bout. Do you read the thread?

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 20:10

TSC The reason given was space, not infection.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 20:11

Georgina, as already explained, I had no intention of taking my baby onto the ward. However, the timing was very bad which required me to do so for 10 minutes.

OP posts:
Boutdesouffle · 05/02/2013 20:13

Why are they concerned about space starlight? It has already been explained to you that it may be because they needed space to get emergency access to one of their patients, but your response pertained only to your own child as though no one else mattered. I think your rather entitled attitude is why so many people have not got any sympathy for you.

Boutdesouffle · 05/02/2013 20:14

And yes I read the thread, it is you that keeps adding/changing information

destructogirl · 05/02/2013 20:15

My dd2 was the same at that age, mainly bf still. When ds1 (11 yrs) had to go in to have his appendix out, they set up a bed for me and a cot for her too.

They also brought me meals, they said this was hospital policy as I was breastfeeding.

The only time she couldn't stay was when we went down to the anasthetic room, the nurses kindly offered to watch her for the 10 mins it took.

Yanbu. Bit weird them wanting you in the theatre part too.

GeorginaWorsley · 05/02/2013 20:16

But as you knew from the info given that siblings were not allowed,you should have let them know your circumstances beforhand.
I know I keep repeating myself but it would have been common courtesy,they could have advised you about any difficulties that may arise and worked with you to make it all go smoothly.
As I said,I would have been only to willing to help any mother in these circumstances.
I would be very upset if I was that nurse though,that you could take the time to raise the issue afterwards but not before.